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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    Default Toilet Training - Advice


    I am toilet training my almost 3 year old and overall I think he is doing well. He still has accidents and doesn't always go to the toilet when he needs to poo but I hear that poos take longer. He is dry at night though.

    I am finding the whole situation quite stressful alot of the time, especially when at playgroup!! He is going through a really defiant stage, where there is a lot of 'I don't want to's' and throwing big tantrums!! This behaviour on its own is majorly stressful without adding toilet training on top.

    I was just wondering if anyone else has been in the same position where they child clearly needs to go to the toilet and refuses to go. I try being firm and putting him on the toilet and he just fights me wanting to get off the toilet, either saying 'I can't' or 'I don't want to' and it becomes this battle. Sometimes he will then go on and wee his pants or start a wee in his pants before then caving and letting me take him.

    At playgroup today, he needed to go and I tried taking him (this was our first time at this new playgroup) and he refused to go and threw a tantrum everytime I tried to take him. I was feeling quite embarrassed and angry by his behaviour that after the 3rd time of trying to take him I was angry enough that I put a pull up on him but then still seeing him holding himself and refusing to go to the toilet made me even more annoyed. I ended up leaving playgroup early with him crying that he didnt want to leave but by then I had had enough.

    The defiance to use the toilet can sometimes be in the morning after he wakes up also. We were doing really well but it seems like he has just taken a few steps backwards and its become an unnecessary stressful battle.

    I feel like at this stage putting him in pull-ups or going back to nappies would be an even bigger step backwards. There are days where he is sooo good but there are seeming to be less of those days :S

    Anyone else experienced this? What ways did you find work?

    We did have a sticker book but he got bored of that. When he knows he is going to get a toy from the shop then he does really really well!!! But sometimes bribery doesn't work, no matter what I try to offer him.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yes we experienced that, though DD was 2. I decided that me getting annoyed wasn't helping, so I just let her have accidents, cleaned it up whilst biting my tongue and containing my anger. It took a week before she was sick of getting no treats and staying at home and then one day she took herself to the toilet and we haven't looked back.
    I didn't go back to nappies as I had already put it in her head that they were for babies.
    Best of luck.


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