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  1. #1
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    Default Pressure to wean..

    My DS is 14 months old and still breast feeding... I tried to day wean him but he is stubborn and between teething and a virus that keeps coming back, we haven't had much success...

    I am happy to keep breast feeding and have no real plans to stop yet... (Maybe by 2?) however my husband constantly asks when am I going to stop... Just this morning he actually said that he is too old now and should be on cows milk

    Whenever he has mentioned it I tell him that we are not ready yet... And he normally accepts that for a few weeks...

    He knows the benefits and that the recommendation is 2 years but I don't think he really believes in it... He was super supportive when bubs was younger, but was also quick to suggest formula in the early days when we had massive issues.

    He was formula fed and hasn't really been exposed to bf other than one friend who stopped at 5 months, so I guess for him it is abnormal that we are still bf at 14 months..

    Has anyone been in a similar situation? Have any advise or suggestions?

  2. #2
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    I haven't been in a similar situation with dh and was lucky he was very supportive however I did have many comments from work colleagues and friends about dd being 'old enough'. I would just smile and change the topic or just smile and walk away! Its alot harder to do that with your dh tho. i only just weaned dd around Easter at 2.5 years.
    I just wanted to say that you are doing a great job and giving your little one such a great start to life. Do what feels right for you and your bub.

  3. #3
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    I'm sorry you're not getting supported, you really are doing great things for your son!

    I fed my DD1 until she was 2. DD2 was 11 months when we stopped bf and i really regret not having been able to feed her for longer. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that you should bf your DS for as long as the both of you want to. You only get to do it once so cherish it!

    Have you tried telling your DH how important it is to the two of you?

    I really really wish extended bf was not seen as abnormal!!!

  4. #4
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    Thanks ladies!

    I'm hoping to just keep dismissing it every time he asks.... Hopefully he will just give up!

    He actually works FIFO and is only home for 1 week out of the month and only ever says anything if I mention feeding him while on the phone or when he is home..

  5. #5
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    So this morning this "issue" had come to head!

    DS hasn't been sleeping very well at all (has had 2 bouts of HFM in 3 weeks) this morning he woke up at 3.30, i put him in bed with us, fed him like I always do but he refused to go back to sleep..

    DH is blaming it on bf... He is going back to work tomorrow but has said that he expects the bf to have stopped when he gets back. He thinks its getting ridiculous... He also said that when we have more kids he doesn't want me to feed them for as long and expects me to stop by 12 months..

    When I had DS I didn't think about how long I would feed him for. I just kept going one day at a time and here we are...

    I'm so heartbroken I don't know what to do! I suggested that he do some research for himself but he said he doesn't care about the research..

  6. #6
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    That sucks I would say 'expect away, I will stop when we are both ready' but that isn't particularly helpful so big hugs xx

  7. #7
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    Perhaps your hubby is really concerned about the night feeding/co-sleeping (which can cause sleep association issues and night wakings?).

    It's unfair of him to give you a demand like that. A bit bullish actually. Tell him you won't change anything about feeding until he clearly articulates what his core concerns are.

  8. #8
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    I'm sorry you aren't being supported in the way you deserve by your partner, I would be heartbroken to be spoken to like that as well but I'm also a very stubborn woman who doesn't appreciate being bullied into things so it would likely make me defiant. I wonder what he expects will happen if you choose not to obey him?

    In regards to the current issue,it may be worthwhile to point out that in this instance formula wouldn't have made a whole lot of difference, because your little person has been ill and the sleep disruption is thus temporary and explainable. I'm sure most mothers would comfort their child in this circumstance regardless ( at least I hope they would).

    I wish you luck, a little diplomacy and strength in your convictions. You're doing a great job mummy!!

  9. #9
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    Just a little update.

    I decided to continue with breastfeeding... The subject hasn't been bought up since the argument.

    He returned home from work last night after 3 weeks away (he wanted the BFing to have ended by the time he got home) and last night and tonight I fed DS before bed and this morning as our usual routine and he didn't say anything..

    Hopefully this will be the end of it!!

    Thanks again for all your support! Your comments have helped me stay strong and keep going! X

  10. #10
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    Hopefully that's it. If not, be strong, know you're doing the right thing and this is absolutely your choice. It's what's best for your child and so he doesn't have a leg to stand on to tell you to stop giving your toddler optimal nutrition.

    My partner was unsupportive of breastfeeding, same situation in that he was formula fed himself and never exposed to breastfeeding. We had many many conversations about breastfeeding. Some I'd try to politely educate him. Sometimes I'd just roll my eyes at him and ignore him.

    He got over it. I don't know if I convinced him or if he just gave up trying to convince me.

    I Breastfed jasper till 3 and now katelyn until 16 months and I simply can't imagine weaning her any time soon. And it's just been a non-issue this time around.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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