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  1. #1
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    Default Bad days

    First up I would like to say I love my children terribly and have been told by DH I give to much of myself to them, the older 2 DD 8 and DS1 6 have both been sick this week so have been home with me and bub and I think I am very quickly losing patience. I try very hard not to yell at my children but today a simple conversation about dinner turned into a battle or words with DD in which she pointed out all things she feels makes me a bad mother, like asking her to clean her room, or not leave her stuff all over the house and not letting her get maccas for dinner. We argued to the point where I now have a sore throat and am emotionally drained from crying for 2 hours. I feel very ashamed that I lost my head a little, I rang DH to try and calm down big mistake he barely paid attention to what I was saying so that set me off again. I also feel ashamed that I am slightly resenting their presence around me right now. I feel like I could have handled so many things differently and things wouldn't have boiled over but then I think "hey I am the parent and shouldn't be spoken to like she spoke to me" and "hey they are your kids to how about helping out a little" and then those thoughts make me feel worse as i feel that i am being selfish. DD has started developing so I know she is struggling with hormones so she doesn't mean to go off and DH is busy working but my word they have driven me to near insanity. Has anybody ever had really bad days like this or am I right in feeling ashamed?

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    :Hugs: Bad days are normal I don't have any experience with older children but my almost 5 year old can really push my buttons on occasion. And sometimes she really hurts my feelings, I have also cried before.

    It's hard and you sound like you are really teaching her how to be a responsible little person by getting her to clean up after herself etc. I don't think that is to much to expect at all. I'm sure she will be thanking you for it in a few years.

    Maybe try talking to your DH when he gets home?

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    You've made it to your eldest is 8 years without a bad day? Then you've done well. I have bad days all the time. My 6yo ds pushes my buttons on a frequent basis and he usually has multiple melt downs per night especially on school nights or if he's sick.

    You need to have strict boundaries and it sounds like you have the right ones and you need to stick to them. You are doing the right thing ... it's hard, but your dd will thank you eventually. The 'trick' (and I find it really hard) is to not discuss the issue or defend yourself. You need to do your best to shut down the conversation and refuse to justify yourself over & over again for your decisions. Basically just say "We are not having Maccas for dinner because I said so and I'm not discussing it further". If she rants and challenges you, then don't enter discussion. Try & stay relaxed and if she escalates she will eventually stop if you don't react. If she is too bad, then she should go to her room to calm down until she can come out and speak nicely to you.

    It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed when your kids are home sick from school, especially when you have a bub. I hope your dh can be supportive, especially on the weekend. You sound like you need a break & rest and I hope you get it soon!

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    oh hun completely normal! please don't feel terrible. you sound exhausted and maybe need to some things for yourself only.

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    Ive been having lots of bad days with 2.5 yr old dd lately.

    Im finding her a real handful and that im getting annoyed with her so easily.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mim1 View Post
    You've made it to your eldest is 8 years without a bad day? Then you've done well. I have bad days all the time
    I have had bad days before but just never to the extent that I have resented everybody just for being in the same house as me. That is the part that makes me feel guilty

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minchi View Post
    oh hun completely normal! please don't feel terrible. you sound exhausted and maybe need to some things for yourself only.
    Your right I am completely exhausted and after today I am emotionally drained

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    Thank you for the replies, it definitely makes a difference knowing I am not alone


 

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