today i spent the day the mercy ed waiting to hear whether i was losing baby. I've had bad cramping all day and varying between light and moderate bleeding. I had a lovely doctor do an exam *cringes* and all she could tell me, that my cervix was still closed but i have to wait until thursday for an appointment to have an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy is still viable.
While sitting in waiting the waiting room they gave me a flyer to read, the line: "half of all early pregnancies that experience bleeding will end in miscarriage"
My stomach hit the floor. I was hopeful that because they hadn't sent me for an ultrasound today, that it was a good sign. The lovely doctor however told me that it wasn't the case, while very sad, if i'm losing the baby there's nothing they can do to stop it, so i get the ultrasound when they can fit me in.
I'm just a mixture of emotions. I haven't been taking very good care of myself lately because DH health issues, chasing DS around while balancing full time work and house work. Is this my fault? Is this just one of those things that wasnt meant to be? I'm trying to be positive and not think the worst, i just want to know either way, i'm on this grief/hope rollercoaster and its making me sick inside.
Its just a waiting game now, thursday 9am is not going to come fast enough