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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    My daughter is nearly 8, and hasn't seen her father since she was 3.5. That is his choice - he moved overseas to be with a girl.

    Prior to this, the arrangement was "you can have her whenever you want her, just give me some notice." His working hours meant that we wouldn't have been able to arrange specific days to be used each week/fortnight/etc. I wasn't working, and she wasn't in school, so it was fine for her to spend whatever time with him he had free (though, being the deadbeat he is, he would often choose to spend his free time without her at all).

    I suspect now it would be more difficult if he was still around, as I work, and she attends school, and his industry would pretty much guarantee he would never be free to have her on weekends. I suspect it may be a holidays-only deal, where he had to put in for time off to see her.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    My XH will have some each weekend (Friday afternoon to Sunday morning) depending on the children's commitments.

    Miss9 has youth group on Friday night once a fortnight during the school term.
    Miss12 & Miss14 have youth group the alternating Friday nights.
    Miss17 often arranges social activities with friends on a Saturday which prevents her from going.

    He will normally have at least one each weekend, and perhaps all of them during holiday weekends. He no longer has a car so catches the train over to collect them on the Friday afternoon. I drive over and pick them up Sunday morning.

    When we first separated, I did all the driving (even though he had a car at the time). I really drove myself into the ground until I took a stand and said he had to come pick them up and I would pick them up after. (We are flexible and will adjust transport as appropriate.)

    Miss6 & Miss4 have a different father and he comes to see them when he can, often spending time with them in a park.


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