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  1. #1
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    Default need advice

    hi everyone, I hope im posting in the right place but im really needing advice in regards to my relationship my partner and I have been together for 7 years and have 2 beautiful sons together but for the last 6 months or so I don't know I just don't think I feel the same anymore I still love him but it feels different like theres no spark anymore ive tried talking to him numerous times about things that bther me for example he does not work and has no motivation to do so even though things are tight money wise with me only working part time, he is a gamer and prefers to play games rather than spending time with me or the boys stays up late playing games does it on the weekends ect ect and whilst I love working while im at work he does nothing around the house doesn't cook or clean instead puts the tv on to entertain the kids so he can do what he wants I get up and do the night feeds and get up early every morning for the kids while he sleeps in im just over the whole lot if I talk to him he changes and is really helpful for the next 2 or 3 days then just goes back to normal I think I know what I need to do but like I said besides all this I still do love him just not the same way and I worry about how it will affect my two boys there only young ds1 is almost3 and ds 2 is almost 6 months I just have soo many things going through my mind at the moment it feels a bit better getting it all out thanks for reading and if any one has any advice please share

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi ashleighmaree. He is showing signs of addiction. He is not growing up and facing the real world. He needs a big reality check. I would tell him he must stop spending every minute on the comp playing the games. If he cant stop, for at least half of the day, and watch his children, and make some effort to help you with the care of the house, then you have to consider your future. He is totally out of line and I would not put up with him being so selfish. hugs, marie.

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    I would unplug the computer and put it in the garage or somewhere he can't access it. For a week. I just wouldn't accept that at all. He's not watching them while you work he's their dad - he's raising them.

    You are far more patient than me. I wouldn't stand for that one bit.

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    Give him an ultimatum. Tell him that if he can't drag himself away from his games and pull his weight, you will leave. He is an adult, he doesn't get to sit around and play all day when he has kids to look after. He should be spending time with them, not dumping them in front of the TV. If he doesn't work he needs to do something else, housework, actually caring for his kids, etc.

    I'd be telling him exactly what you expect from him (certain chores, activities with the kids) and allow him time to play his games at certain times when you agree and only when he has done what he is supposed to do (I know, it's treating him like a child, but he is acting like one) and if he doesn't stick with it, leave him. No way would I stay with someone who would rather live in fantasy land instead of being part of his family.

  6. #5
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    Could he be depressed? When you suffer from depression even the smallest task can seem too hard due yo total lack of motivation and drive.

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    I have been in the same position. For me the deciding factors were that I didn't want my son being treated that way and I didn't want him to see his father treating me that way and to think it's ok.

    Feel free to pm me if you like

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    Hi.
    I was in the same position as you. DP had no job for two years, I supported our family with my part-time wage. DP was addicted to computer games (DDO) and instead of caring for our DD (6months) he would ignore her all day and play computer games. He did barely any house work. 6 months ago, when DD was 15months old, I left him.
    He now has a job, has stopped playing computer games.

    Maybe your partner just needs a wake up call.


 

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