+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 23
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    I don't think it can be decided it's emotional manipulation just from the very small amount of information. I have friends and have had partners who, to be honest, turn into right asshats around their family, so I refuse to be around them and their family at the same time.
    Is this what he means, OP?
    Or does he just have an irrational dislike for your family?

    Absolutely, this one tiny snippet does not mean he is abusive or anything of the sort. Most posters are just asking questions.

    DH is different in a bad way around his mum, but I would never have a go at him about it...i would never try and stop him seeing her either or try and put a wedge between them.

    The OP needs to ask herself the questions...and, maybe she does act in a not nice way around her family and maybe he is being manipulative.

    I believe that partners should support their other half in having friends and relationships outside of just the couple.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to River Song For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (01-05-2013)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    157
    Thanks
    38
    Thanked
    32
    Reviews
    0
    My bro used to be very diff when he would come and visit the family with his wife and kids. At home he would help her with the kids and treat her really good. But as soon as he was around us he would be cranky, mean to her and not help with the kids at all. He was a young dad and being our younger brother I think that he tried to show us he was a 'man' or something. Plus he would get really tired and moody. His wife didn't like coming to visit us much because of it but she did like us (just not his change). But we would get up him for it and he eventually stopped lol. Now he only acts a little diff - like anyone would.

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    742
    Thanks
    27
    Thanked
    62
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks for the replies everyone sorry for the late reply! He hates them because he heard they apparently said something bad about us to others but I'm not even sure they did! He hated them before this and it makes me think he wants to put distance between us! Once he finally told me what they "said" of they did he told me if I was to go visit them (they live interstate) then he will leave me! I've started to find out if they actually said something or not but not 100% sure yet! I feel like he's just told me to put Distance between us! That makes me so angry and hurt!

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Qld
    Posts
    26,930
    Thanks
    2,736
    Thanked
    6,743
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    I agree with the others - I don't act around workmates the same way I would around DP. I act differently according to who I'm with. I think it's fairly natural as fitting in is an important survival skill.

    I think it's fair to just acknowledge that everyone does this and just to accept it... unless they turn into a jerk. Some people will turn nasty around certain people, because those people just bring out that nastiness in them. I'm cool with DP being different around his parents... so long as it doesn't hurt me (as in, he doesn't start turning into a jerk because the men in his family treat the women poorly...).

  6. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Adelaide SA
    Posts
    4,843
    Thanks
    716
    Thanked
    733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Go with your gut. If you think he is trying to isolate you from your family, there is a chance he is.

    I know we have only snippets of info, but if my DH told me he would leave me if I visited my family, I'd pack his bags for him. He doesn't have to like your family, but he has to accept they are your family and a part of your life.

    Tbh it doesn't sound good to me.

  7. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Mackay
    Posts
    1,346
    Thanks
    620
    Thanked
    455
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I act very differently around my family than if i was just with my partner. My siblings and I just get in these silly giggly crazy moods with each other and we just become.... well, silly! We laugh til our bellies hurt, play around, tease each other (yep, we're all in our 20's haha) so I suppose if my partner didnt like my family they would see me acting like them and it would be annoying.

    Could it be because he doesnt like them already, that when he see's you getting along with them and chatty and laughing with them he gets cranky?

  8. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    179
    Thanks
    37
    Thanked
    61
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by mum2mj View Post
    Thanks for the replies everyone sorry for the late reply! He hates them because he heard they apparently said something bad about us to others but I'm not even sure they did! He hated them before this and it makes me think he wants to put distance between us! Once he finally told me what they "said" of they did he told me if I was to go visit them (they live interstate) then he will leave me! I've started to find out if they actually said something or not but not 100% sure yet! I feel like he's just told me to put Distance between us! That makes me so angry and hurt!
    He actually said he would leave if you visited your family? I would say it's time for him to have a reality check!
    My family is not the best. I have a mixture of criminals (who have seen extended gaol time) and police officers, to hard workers and dirty rotten lay-abouts in my family. But we all talk and all visit each other. If my dp had a problem with them, and he does with a few, my response is that he doesn't have to see them, but he does not have the right to keep me from seeing my family either. Nor can he dictate which family members I see or for how long. My family, my choice.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ARCTICJULZ For This Useful Post:

    moongazer  (01-05-2013),mum2mj  (01-05-2013)

  10. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    742
    Thanks
    27
    Thanked
    62
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by ARCTICJULZ View Post
    He actually said he would leave if you visited your family? I would say it's time for him to have a reality check!
    My family is not the best. I have a mixture of criminals (who have seen extended gaol time) and police officers, to hard workers and dirty rotten lay-abouts in my family. But we all talk and all visit each other. If my dp had a problem with them, and he does with a few, my response is that he doesn't have to see them, but he does not have the right to keep me from seeing my family either. Nor can he dictate which family members I see or for how long. My family, my choice.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Thanks for that! Needed to hear that! I'm going to call my sister and ask her directly if she did say anything. But she has asked me to visit when my mum does in June or July and I'm seriously considering it! I miss her so so much. I honestly can't see her saying anything of the kind!

  11. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Adelaide SA
    Posts
    4,843
    Thanks
    716
    Thanked
    733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think be blunt when asking her. Don't beat around the bush. You want her to know what your question is. You need up know the answers.

    Sounds like you miss your sister and your relationship.

  12. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Out of curiosity, what was allegedly said?
    It seems quite an over-reaction if he didn't like them, but didn't stop you from seeing them until this one particular thing was said.
    And, tbh, I can think of a few things that would make me go "Right, pick me or your family but if you go visit them, I won't be here when you get back."


 

Similar Threads

  1. I've changed my bub hub name!
    By Harliben in forum General Chat
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 24-01-2013, 22:08
  2. Has the CCB changed?
    By sweetums89 in forum Childcare Options
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 30-07-2012, 20:47
  3. Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-05-2012, 16:02

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Einsteinz Music
Make music at Einsteinz Music in age-appropriate class in Sydney's Inner West, Eastern Suburbs or North Shore. For ages 6 mths - 4 yrs. All music is live! Christmas Gift certificates available for full term or casual classes. Call 0431 338 143
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Life Fertility
Life Fertility Clinic is a boutique fertility clinic located in Spring Hill, Brisbane. Our dedicated fertility and IVF specialists offer professional, holistic, personalised options for the treatment of each patient’s specific needs.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!