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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by onionskin View Post
    I am sorry del and sonja if I have upset you.

    I do agree del, the best thing would be not to get pregnant in the first place, but she was unfortunately.
    Not at all hun nothing you said has upset me. It's the story that has.

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  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by onionskin View Post
    I am sorry del and sonja if I have upset you.

    I do agree del, the best thing would be not to get pregnant in the first place, but she was unfortunately.
    No you haven't upset me at all. Infertility played havoc with my ability to accept certain things these days, not just abortion based on sex, but gender disappointment as well as a whole raft of other things people complain about. I would love to be neutral about many of these issues but my struggles as well as so many other women I have come to know and adore on here make this impossible.

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  5. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    No you haven't upset me at all. Infertility played havoc with my ability to accept certain things these days, not just abortion based on sex, but gender disappointment as well as a whole raft of other things people complain about. I would love to be neutral about many of these issues but my struggles as well as so many other women I have come to know and adore on here make this impossible.
    Yep, same. Especially today I'm finding it very hard to be neutral. I accept and support women's choice to abort at the 12 week and under mark, even though it upsets me. Having had a medically necessary termination myself I understand the pain of those that abort for medical reasons. But aborting half way thru the pg bc it's a girl? nope I can't support that.

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    I've been battling whether to respond or not as this is an emotional topic for me for a couple reasons. I had an abortion 10 years ago (for the various reasons of being too young, not ready, etc) and I lost my baby girl in December at 19 1/2 weeks.

    I am pro-choice, but my experience with my abortion makes me vary very much on my beliefs with it all. My abortion was at 7 weeks and I still struggle with if I feel it was a 'life' or not. I also got severe depression (that I still battle with) after my abortion. I am pro-choice but I think women should be educated of the 'side effects' of abortion (ie the emotional trauma). I also am such a defender of women who have had an abortion because there is often an impression that they took 'the easy way out,' that it was an easy decision for them. Which is rarely the case. Most women who have chosen an abortion have struggled with their decision extensively before and after. I still struggle with my decision and have even wondered if I lost my baby girl because I was being 'punished' for my past termination.

    I am anti-abortion after 12 weeks unless there is a medical condition revealed for mother or baby (ie I have mothers in my support groups that had to terminate at 17 weeks because their babies were very sick and were not going to survive labor/pregnancy/birth).

    At 19 weeks you have to give birth to your baby, go into labor etc. Our daughter died in-utero and I had to be induced, go into labor and give birth. I've held a 19 week old baby, she was definitely a proper little person and I cannot imagine anyone deciding to terminate a baby based on their gender, it truly sickens me.

    I'm not sure if this makes me a hypocrite, or maybe it's just the knowledge that is found through hindsight of my decisions, but I feel there is a massive difference between somebody terminating a pregnancy early because they do not feel capable or medical reasons and terminating a pregnancy late because of gender.

    Gender and having a baby is a lucky dip and if somebody can't accept that then they shouldn't be trying for a baby.

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  9. #65
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    I don't think it makes you a hypocrite Kirst. I think within the pro choice movement everyone has different cut offs for lack of a better word, of what they are comfortable with.

    I also think those that have lost babies and/or have fertility issues commonly are more emotional, that is to be expected

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  11. #66
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    I also find it pretty unnerving having an abortion based on an undesired sex of a baby. I have 3 son's and understand the deep desire to have a child of the opposite sex but i don't believe this is the answer at all. It's pretty distressing actually.

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    It's an issue I get emotional about for the same reason as some others in this thread. I've experienced fertility struggles, a miscarriage, and also the prospect of whether or not I would terminate following a high risk NT scan (which thankfully came back clear).

    The bottom line for me is that I support bodily autonomy, and I support a woman's right to have an abortion if that is what she chooses.

    That being the case, I would support a woman's right to have an abortion for any reason (including gender disappointment), as I don't believe it's for me (or anyone else) to mandate what reasons are or are not legitimate if a woman decides that she does not want a baby.

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  14. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I don't think it makes you a hypocrite Kirst. I think within the pro choice movement everyone has different cut offs for lack of a better word, of what they are comfortable with.

    I also think those that have lost babies and/or have fertility issues commonly are more emotional, that is to be expected
    Thanks Del. I'm not sure if I even explained myself well. My experience with abortion has made my opinion vary so much for the simple fact that I battle with my own personal feelings of whether it was a 'life' or not. But hindsight's a b*tch!

    Then you add my experience of loss and it complicates my feelings even more! I am just so desperate to bring home a healthy baby that I couldn't imagine terminating at 19 weeks based on gender, who cares--your baby is healthy, be grateful!!

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    I don't think abortions purely based on gender should be available. There is a point where the line needs to be drawn and, IMO, this is it.

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  17. #70
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    I have been following and agree with most on here about this particular topic. Reading the article I feel horror, sadness, anger sorrow for the poor little bubba and for the many woman who struggle to conceive or woman who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss who would give anything to be blessed with a healthy baby. How heartbreaking.
    I do however believe woman should be allowed a choice although I have great difficulty accepting late term abortions except for medical reasons.

    After thinking about this article I realized that the dr made a point of saying it was the husband being pushy and doing most of the talking. Do you think it's possible that this woman has been forced into this decision by her husband out of fear/cultural beliefs? If this is the case the absolute horror she must be feeling at her actions.


 

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