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  1. #121
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    Thinking about this thread reminded me of a story my mother told me many years ago about when she was a midwife. It was just after gender scanning had begun and they were able to tell people what they were having. A Chinese couple were told they were having a girl. He was furious. Within a week she was admitted to emergency as she had fallen down a flight of stairs. She lost the baby. She was unable to have any more kids. My mother cared for her and she said the woman never spoke to a soul not even her husband. No one knew but everyone suspected he had pushed her or she had thrown herself down the stairs.

    I guess when I think about that and separate my own circumstances from the reality for some people I understand why abortion has to be freely available. I may hate that it is, but I get why it has to be. I imagine in many countries where abortion isn't legal and safe many women simply die if they are carrying a baby that is unwanted due to its sex.

    I don't know how to say this without sounding culturally insensitive which is not my intent but given abortions for this reason are likely to be cultural in the most part, and that these people would be extremely unlikely to have access to overseas gender selection I guess the reality is abortion is in most states legal past the point where gender testing is done so it doesn't really matter what I think about it. And that has to be preferable to situations like what my mother described.

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  3. #122
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    I just want to say, that terminating or wanting to terminate a healthy baby isnt the norm among people who suffer from gender disappointment. I hate that they tend to all get lumped together, gender disappointment isnt about not wanting the baby your carrying, its about mourning the son or daughter you might never have - thats how it was for me anyhow. Not once have I ever been anything but glad that my belly babe was healthy regardless of his gender. I have mourned the fact that I will never have a daughter and dealt with my sadness over that but it is in no way connected to my precious 3rd son whom im carrying. I have also stuggled with long term TTC and have suffered a m/c. My GD doesn't make me a bad person.

    I feel this is a much more extreme issue than just regular gender disappointment. This isnt the way most people who suffer from it feel in my experience.

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  5. #123
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    Did anyone see "meet the midwives" last night, about a woman who was so devasated to be preg with number 9 (couldn't afford the 8 they already had) that she risked her life with an illegal and unsafe abortion. Truely made me so glad that we have access to safe procedures here.

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  7. #124
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    As someone who is against abortion, i find it quite interesting that ones that are pro choice are saying this is wrong.

    Why is this reason not ok as opposed to " i wasnt ready" ," it was a one night stand", " i want to party im too young to settle down ", " i cant afford it" " i want to establish my career" etc etc???

    You are either pro choice or ur not imo otherwise its hypocritical. All the babies in these scenarios have the right to life just like that poor little girl.

    I think this story is just disgusting. I have no words that ill repeat to describe people that would do this.

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  8. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoThisIsLove View Post
    As someone who is against abortion, i find it quite interesting that ones that are pro choice are saying this is wrong.

    Why is this reason not ok as opposed to " i wasnt ready" ," it was a one night stand", " i want to party im too young to settle down ", " i cant afford it" " i want to establish my career" etc etc???

    You are either pro choice or ur not imo otherwise its hypocritical. All the babies in these scenarios have the right to life just like that poor little girl.
    For me terminating based on sex alone means it was a planned & wanted baby unlike the scenarios you mentioned. They wanted a baby they just wanted a boy. Having a termination due to a one night stand IMO is in a different category a) you may not know or be able to contact the fob b) it was completely unplanned.
    Last edited by sandy cheeks; 29-04-2013 at 07:20.

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  10. #126
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    I said I am pro choice and would defend a persons right to get a termination, I will defend their right to choose what they do with their body. There is a difference in being pro choice and pro abortion. I defends someones right to choose, it doesn't mean I have to agree with why.

    Lets not forget that when you lose choice over your body, it can swing both ways, just like in rural CHina, where the authorities carry out late term abortions unwanted abortions on women when they find out they have more than one child.

    So I say, you can't have it both ways, either you can choose to keep your baby for whatever reason, or you give up your rights to choose for yourself either way.

    And no, it is not hyprocritical in any way.

    And lets face it, everyone on here who believes termination is wrong for any reason, is saying that basically a fetus trumps the mother and that they are more important. Lets stop being all high and mighty about it please.


    Quote Originally Posted by SoThisIsLove View Post
    As someone who is against
    quite interesting that ones that are pro choice are saying this is wrong.

    Why is this reason not ok as opposed to " i wasnt ready" ," it was a one night stand", " i want to party im too young to settle down ", " i cant afford it" " i want to establish my career" etc etc???

    You are either pro choice or ur not imo otherwise its hypocritical. All the babies in these scenarios have the right to life just like that poor little girl.

    I think this story is just disgusting. I have no words that ill repeat to describe people that would do this.

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  12. #127
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    To me it's not about why. Though some of the whys I don't and would never do r fully understand IE aborting due to baby's gender. It's still that's woman's body and her life and its not my right to tell her what she can and can't do with it.

    Do I think aborting due to being pregnant with the not preferred gender is ideal or perfect or ok? No and I wouldn't do so myself.

    But it's her body and therefore it's a choice only she can make for herself.

    I think te minute we start saying no to safe aborting practises or making stipulations on who can abort for what reasons more people will abort very unsafely and that is something I don't want to see


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  14. #128
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    Exactly what beebs said. I can be pro choice and think this is disgusting at the same time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SoThisIsLove View Post
    As someone who is against abortion, i find it quite interesting that ones that are pro choice are saying this is wrong.

    Why is this reason not ok as opposed to " i wasnt ready" ," it was a one night stand", " i want to party im too young to settle down ", " i cant afford it" " i want to establish my career" etc etc???

    You are either pro choice or ur not imo otherwise its hypocritical. All the babies in these scenarios have the right to life just like that poor little girl.

    I think this story is just disgusting. I have no words that ill repeat to describe people that would do this.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    To answer your question,

    THIS....
    Quote Originally Posted by sandy cheeks View Post
    For me terminating based on sex alone means it was a planned & wanted baby unlike the scenarios you mentioned. They wanted a baby they just wanted a boy. Having a termination due to a one night stand IMO is in a different category a) you may not know or be able to contact the fob b) it was completely unplanned.
    ....also, are these people going to ttc then abort over and over until they get the gender of their choice?

    As I said earlier, I view this as a step in the wrong direction towards gender equality. By allowing gender based abortions (for non medical reasons) is saying 'we accept that you treat females (or males depending on the culture) like sh!t, here let us keep that belief going' :what:
    The better option would be to say 'we understand that, for you, a female (or male) is frowned upon in your culture, but we're going to work with you to show you just how magical this little girl is, the things she can achieve with your support will make you proud. We will stand by your side and we will end this cycle'.

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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I said I am pro choice and would defend a persons right to get a termination, I will defend their right to choose what they do with their body. There is a difference in being pro choice and pro abortion. I defends someones right to choose, it doesn't mean I have to agree with why.
    I had considered myself pro choice until now. If being pro choice means I have to defend the right of the woman in this kind of scenario then I can't do that at all.

    This is something new ive learnt about myself


 

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