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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    A million times this.

    I'm all for fancy weddings, but expecting to recoup the cost of reception through gifts or a wishing well smacks of entitlement.

    By all means have an extravagant wedding but it's not the responsibility of your guests to subsidise that.
    So agree. I have zero issue with a huge OTT wedding. Not my taste but each to their own. But when you book an expensive place at $100+ a seat and expect others to give that per head as a gift, sorry but that is very selfish. If you can only afford $50 a head, then go with that. If guests give you that by choice then great. You may even have a bit left over. If they don't, well you've spent within your means.

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    So agree. I have zero issue with a huge OTT wedding. Not my taste but each to their own. But when you book an expensive place at $100+ a seat and expect others to give that per head as a gift, sorry but that is very selfish. If you can only afford $50 a head, then go with that. If guests give you that by choice then great. You may even have a bit left over. If they don't, well you've spent within your means.
    Sometimes I wonder if people have an 'offset' column in their wedding budget to account for anticipated windfalls.

    What a way to start a marriage - being disappointed by the lack of largesse heaped upon you by guests.

  4. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    So odd, you'd spend the whole night wondering if you'd "made your money back".
    Sadly even on BH I've seen several comments saying that guests should effectively pay for the reception bc it's somehow a favour to even be invited and that receptions are expensive. I've also read posts from former brides saying how they went thru the cards and couldn't believe how stingy some guests were

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  6. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Sadly even on BH I've seen several comments saying that guests should effectively pay for the reception bc it's somehow a favour to even be invited and that receptions are expensive. I've also read posts from former brides saying how they went thru the cards and couldn't believe how stingy some guests were
    So weird isn't it. Perhaps these people should just charge upfront with a paypal linked account on the invite or maybe a door bish to enforce "appropriate giftage".

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  8. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    A million times this.

    I'm all for fancy weddings, but expecting to recoup the cost of reception through gifts or a wishing well smacks of entitlement.

    By all means have an extravagant wedding but it's not the responsibility of your guests to subsidise that.
    I'm just glad all my friends live in sin

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    FearlessLeader  (26-04-2013),giggle berry  (26-04-2013),Rutabaga  (27-04-2013),Stiflers Mom  (26-04-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I'm just glad all my friends live in sin
    I spat out my wine!!

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    I always like to give as much as I can afford.
    It is a huge honour to be a guest at someone's wedding and I like to "bless" the newlyweds as generously as I can afford to.
    We had a wishing well for our wedding, and were blown away by the generosity of our guests- we certainly didn't expect people to give so much. We also received some other lovely gifts- beautiful towels, a cake stand from a friend who shares my love of baking, a bottle of Moët and 2 reidel crystal champagne glasses from DH's work.
    Tradition and etiquette suggests your gift to the bride and groom should be the value of a good dinner for two, including wine. DH and I spent $220 on dinner for his birthday last week, which is about the amount I would like to give, if I could afford it.

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  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I'm just glad all my friends live in sin
    Haha, we are sinful mercenaries. We told all our parents 'we're not getting married, so just give us money for a house deposit' maybe we should have cast our net wider and written a cutesy poem to our friends saying 'we can't be bothered having a wedding, just give us some cash and be grateful you don't have to find a babysitter and sit through speeches'

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    I've never been to a wedding with a wishing well. Jeez bl00dy glad that i haven't. Most of our friends who have married lived in sin for years, owned their own homes and all the stuff they needed but still didn't have them. They wanted stuff to hold as memories of their day. Tbh I can't even remember what we bought them but they often tell me how much they appreciated whatever it was and what a lovely reminder it was of their day.

    I can't wrap my head around modern weddings (man I feel like an old f@rt).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I Tbh I can't even remember what we bought them but they often tell me how much they appreciated whatever it was and what a lovely reminder it was of their day.

    I can't wrap my head around modern weddings (man I feel like an old f@rt).
    This reminds me of a convo DH and I had last weekend.

    We were discussing the set up of his office and I mentioned a tray would be good for keeping his coffee machine and teapot on.

    He agreed and said 'you know what would be perfect? The tray X, Y and Z got us at our wedding'.

    Said tray would not have cost more than $50 between 3 or 4 people but we remember it ten years on and it has featured in all our houses.

    He then went on and said he had no idea were it was. 'Could be anywhere he said'.

    Mmm yes. It could be. Including ON OUR COFFEE TABLE!!

    Ruined the moment a tad.

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