+ Reply to Thread
Page 19 of 20 FirstFirst ... 917181920 LastLast
Results 181 to 190 of 196
  1. #181
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    904
    Thanks
    67
    Thanked
    237
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    This is what I was trying to get at with my posts yesterday. You think there is no better motivation to quit than being pregnant - i agree but I also think having children should be the same motivation not to restart. Those quit ads with the children visiting their father in hospital who is hooked up on ventilators were so powerful. And they are so real.

    I smoked before I had kids (only very rarely) but after I had DD1 I remember being outside our house with a friend having a sneaky ciggie and DD1 walked out and saw me. She was so confused about what I was doing and the questions she asked later which were impossible to answer meant I never picked up a cigarette again.

    I don't know how old your kids are but DD1 is nearly 8 and is incredibly anti-smoking. One of her close friend's father smokes and they all talk about how he might die really early.

    Anyway, all I was trying to say was the same difficulty you have stopping now is the same difficulty a pregnant woman might have just because she finds out she's pregnant. No one on here has said they were proud they smoked while pregnant; they feel shame about it. Our judgment of them doesn't make that easier for them.
    Yeah I get what u were trying to say now just took a different way of having it explained for me to understand

  2. #182
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    4,953
    Thanks
    3,680
    Thanked
    1,949
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    This is what I was trying to get at with my posts yesterday. You think there is no better motivation to quit than being pregnant - i agree but I also think having children should be the same motivation not to restart. Those quit ads with the children visiting their father in hospital who is hooked up on ventilators were so powerful. And they are so real.

    .
    This was real life for me :-(

    My dad was a heavy smoker and passed away 2 years ago from throat cancer. He had a massive tumour on the side of his neck and had his voice box removed to try and beat it. So couldnt even talk to us in the end. He would write us notes when we visited :'(

    EVEN after witnessing this my 2 sisters and 1 of my brothers still all smoke heavily. If that doesnt stop them nothing will.

    My sister smoked through her pregnancy after watching him die too



    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Last edited by SoThisIsLove; 25-04-2013 at 10:49.

  3. #183
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    townsville
    Posts
    2,816
    Thanks
    1,570
    Thanked
    1,277
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly8329 View Post
    The circumstance is they are pregnant, they are smoking, it's unhealthy and disgusting .
    It's fact, that all women who do smoke are risking their babies life and health, they themselves know it and they themselves may hate that they can't quit.

    I don't believe many have said that they judge a smoking mother as being a bad parent.
    I judge that they are making a terrible choice, the wrong choice, a selfish choice, a life threatening choice and I do not understand those choices at all and I look down upon their choices.

    And again I am a smoker.

    I had a friend who planned her son 1 year in advance fell pregnant then whined all over Facebook about people judging her whilst pregnant and smoking then had her son spend 18 months in and out of hospital with breathing related illnesses and facebooked about how awful it was and why her and why her son.
    Someone turned around and said well that's what happens when you smoke 10 cigarettes a day while carrying a baby so rather then whinge about people judging you when you were pregnant then complain about why your son is suffering in hospital maybe you should quit smoking and start setting a good example to your son who you passed dodgy lungs on to.
    Well needless to say she lost it, I would have too and I was shocked her friend would say this to her and her best friend of like 15 years or so.
    They haven't spoken now in 2 years however this friend of mine did quit smoking that year, did get healthy and has also lost 22 kilos.

    I am almost certain she already knew all this and that she may have already been blaming herself but the fact that her best friend came out and said what everyone else was thinking, I believe it made her realize that many people were now judging her and probably judging her harshly. However she is a lovely woman, a caring and hands on mother and a great friend to me however she and I know she made some very selfish and bad choices to continue smoking while pregnant when clearly she can quit and could have quit before TTC.

    You can not predict what sort of damage smoking is going to do to your baby. You may smoke through one pregnancy as my friend above did and have a healthy baby then you may smoke through the next and give your child life long breathing issues.

    The comment that quitting while pregnant is bad for a fetus baffles me also as eventually when a baby is born they will not be having the toxins from smoke running through them unless of course your going to shove a smoke in their mouth and light up.
    Regardless of fetus or newborn it has to go through withdrawals, isn't it best that happens in the early days of pregnancy when you get a BFP?

    And again the Muslim, aboriginal, black comment doesn't fit in context with this discussion.
    My comment wasn't in regards to t being ok or good or bad or anything like that but a response to a comment about all smokers who smoke while pregnant being uncaring or loving their babys less then non smokers.

    Everyone's opinions are just that their opinions and none are less valid then your own wether you agree or not


    Sent from a magical mobile bubhub device in a galaxy far far away

  4. #184
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    1,337
    Thanks
    1,301
    Thanked
    589
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Nope, I don't judge because I was one.

    I DO feel bad for the mother though, because I am sure she is not having a splendid time smoking whilst pregnant, I know the guilt they feel and the shame.

    When I found out I was pregnant with DS1, my GP advised me to cut down, but NOT to quit. I had been smoking too long to just quit, he feared that the stress from quitting would lead to a miscarriage. As it was I did miscarry my DS1s twin.

    With my next 2 pregnancies, I was told similar. They were not planned, I was on the pill with DS2 and had Implanon with DD, so I was not prepared to just quit..

    With DS3, I did quit. I quit at 13w when I found out I was pregnant.. I just threw them away and haven't touched one since, and you know, he is the only baby I had issues with.. He was 6 weeks prem, was on CPAP and had other issues as well.

    I can't judge, nobody should because you just don't know their story. There needs to be way more help for Mums, and smokers in general.. It's a vile habit that really gets its hooks in.. I would still LOVE a cigarette, it would be so easy (and expensive!!!!!) to become a smoker again!

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to oozzle For This Useful Post:

    Lauzy83  (26-04-2013)

  6. #185
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    313
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked
    85
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by oozzle View Post
    I quit at 13w when I found out I was pregnant.. I just threw them away and haven't touched one since, and you know, he is the only baby I had issues with.. He was 6 weeks prem, was on CPAP and had other issues as well.
    I was pregnant at the same time as other family members who also smoked.

    I was the only one who quit, but I never tried to make anyone else feel guilty about not quitting (I was also the only one who quit drinking during pregnancy but that's a separate issue).

    Now that all our babies have been born, anything that happens in regards to DS's health always gets a smirk or some snide remark, as in, "look at the trouble you're having, and you're the one who quit".

    My answer to that is, I know that I did everything I could to make sure my baby got off to the best start. Imagine how much worse it could be if I DID smoke!

    Quote Originally Posted by oozzle View Post
    I would still LOVE a cigarette, it would be so easy (and expensive!!!!!) to become a smoker again!
    I hear you! My family are full of smokers, and it takes all my willpower not to ask for a quick puff :-/

  7. #186
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I wish I had the time to read this entire thread but 192 responses is too much lol.
    Anyway, I'll chime in. Do I judge? The word "judge" is so general and if it means do I think that the person smoking is a terrible person, the answer is no. I don't think that her worth should be based on the one (as terrible as it is) negative thing that she does. I have no idea who she is or what type of person she is, so I can't just define the smoking pregnant woman as a total evil person; I'm postive that she has some great qualities and for whatever reason can't seem to grasp the fact smoking during pregnancy is so very dangerous and wrong.
    But do I agree? No way. I used to smoke and quit the day my pregnancy test came back positive. I couldn't get the test until the afternoon but even before that I refused to light up as I knew there was a big chance I was pregnant and I was right. For me, every urge and desire to smoke totally left me when I was pregnant so it wasn't even a struggle, which was lucky. Since having DD I have never had a single puff and she's 9 months old- I'll never smoke again.

    I don't get it, is all I can say, how a woman can put a cigarette in her mouth when she has a baby inside of her. But I'm not inside her head and it's not my job to preach. It is such a mental and physical addicton and I simply feel sorry for a woman who for whatever reason simply cannot give up for the sake of her unborn babies health. I don't pity her, but I feel sorry for the fact that she is so clouded by her addiction that she can't see past her own needs.
    Not sure if that all made sense, it's tough describe what I mean... I don't hate or stare daggers at smoking pregnant women, I just can't fathom how they can do it.
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 27-04-2013 at 14:33.

  8. #187
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Adelaide, SA
    Posts
    215
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    18
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I have heard that before too, and was wondering if it was true? How do you know that it isn't though? Do you work in the medical field? My friend said that to me, and she really isn't the type of person who lies.
    You have only quoted part of what I said but I realise it could be taken the wrong way though, what I said or meant was she used that excuse right through until she had her daughter because she was told quitting would be harmful which is rubbish because they provide you with a quitline program on your first antenatal appointment, they encourage you to cut down and quit (we have the same doctors so I am well aware of the program) so yes, I believe it is rubbish that they tell you to continue smoking right through your pregnancy. I've heard it in early pregnancy but only from people who continued to smoke so I don't really know but definitely not the whole way through!!!

    Sent from my ST25a using BubHub

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to miraclemakers For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (27-04-2013)

  10. #188
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    599
    Thanks
    362
    Thanked
    413
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    ...
    Last edited by Cinderella82; 10-08-2013 at 21:25.

  11. #189
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Adelaide, SA
    Posts
    215
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    18
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Thanks Lauzy, my friend is just not a liar at all. I knew she wouldn't lie about something like that.

    I also think you can't lump all smoking pregnant women into one group. Some don't give a toss, don't try and cut down etc. And others struggle every day, they want to quit, they feel immense guilt, they want to do the best for their baby but they find it a real struggle.

    I think it is simplistic to lump them all together in the selfish pile.
    This too was supposed to be my point, that when women admit to it being their own issue I understand and empathise but I don't like when women use generic excuses just to justify not trying at all... It's very disheartening to those who actually do try because as you said they are all put into the same category!

    Sent from my ST25a using BubHub


 

Similar Threads

  1. Did you smoke while pregnant?
    By BH-community in forum Viewer Polls
    Replies: 97
    Last Post: 11-05-2016, 21:55
  2. What pregnant women need
    By Gily75 in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-10-2012, 18:41
  3. Pregnant Women!! I need your help please!!
    By kaseyperth in forum Student Midwives & Doulas
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 26-07-2012, 10:27

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Xmas with a NEW Fridge-to-go Lunch Bag! Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Fridge-to-go 8 hour cooler bags are ideal under the Christmas tree! Now in modern lunch bag designs - fill them with toys and chocolate to make parents and kids happy! Stay super cool and eat healthy and fresh food all summer long!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Mini Maestros
Nurturing Confident Learners. Mini Maestros offers music classes for children 6 months to 5 years of age. It is the longest running and most successful Australian business of its kind.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!