My dad was a heavy smoker and passed away 2 years ago from throat cancer. He had a massive tumour on the side of his neck and had his voice box removed to try and beat it. So couldnt even talk to us in the end. He would write us notes when we visited :'(
EVEN after witnessing this my 2 sisters and 1 of my brothers still all smoke heavily. If that doesnt stop them nothing will.
My sister smoked through her pregnancy after watching him die too
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Last edited by SoThisIsLove; 25-04-2013 at 10:49.
Everyone's opinions are just that their opinions and none are less valid then your own wether you agree or not
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Nope, I don't judge because I was one.
I DO feel bad for the mother though, because I am sure she is not having a splendid time smoking whilst pregnant, I know the guilt they feel and the shame.
When I found out I was pregnant with DS1, my GP advised me to cut down, but NOT to quit. I had been smoking too long to just quit, he feared that the stress from quitting would lead to a miscarriage. As it was I did miscarry my DS1s twin.
With my next 2 pregnancies, I was told similar. They were not planned, I was on the pill with DS2 and had Implanon with DD, so I was not prepared to just quit..
With DS3, I did quit. I quit at 13w when I found out I was pregnant.. I just threw them away and haven't touched one since, and you know, he is the only baby I had issues with.. He was 6 weeks prem, was on CPAP and had other issues as well.
I can't judge, nobody should because you just don't know their story. There needs to be way more help for Mums, and smokers in general.. It's a vile habit that really gets its hooks in.. I would still LOVE a cigarette, it would be so easy (and expensive!!!!!) to become a smoker again!
I was the only one who quit, but I never tried to make anyone else feel guilty about not quitting (I was also the only one who quit drinking during pregnancy but that's a separate issue).
Now that all our babies have been born, anything that happens in regards to DS's health always gets a smirk or some snide remark, as in, "look at the trouble you're having, and you're the one who quit".
My answer to that is, I know that I did everything I could to make sure my baby got off to the best start. Imagine how much worse it could be if I DID smoke!
I wish I had the time to read this entire thread but 192 responses is too much lol.
Anyway, I'll chime in. Do I judge? The word "judge" is so general and if it means do I think that the person smoking is a terrible person, the answer is no. I don't think that her worth should be based on the one (as terrible as it is) negative thing that she does. I have no idea who she is or what type of person she is, so I can't just define the smoking pregnant woman as a total evil person; I'm postive that she has some great qualities and for whatever reason can't seem to grasp the fact smoking during pregnancy is so very dangerous and wrong.
But do I agree? No way. I used to smoke and quit the day my pregnancy test came back positive. I couldn't get the test until the afternoon but even before that I refused to light up as I knew there was a big chance I was pregnant and I was right. For me, every urge and desire to smoke totally left me when I was pregnant so it wasn't even a struggle, which was lucky. Since having DD I have never had a single puff and she's 9 months old- I'll never smoke again.
I don't get it, is all I can say, how a woman can put a cigarette in her mouth when she has a baby inside of her. But I'm not inside her head and it's not my job to preach. It is such a mental and physical addicton and I simply feel sorry for a woman who for whatever reason simply cannot give up for the sake of her unborn babies health. I don't pity her, but I feel sorry for the fact that she is so clouded by her addiction that she can't see past her own needs.
Not sure if that all made sense, it's tough describe what I mean... I don't hate or stare daggers at smoking pregnant women, I just can't fathom how they can do it.
Last edited by ~Marigold~; 27-04-2013 at 14:33.
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Last edited by Cinderella82; 10-08-2013 at 21:25.
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