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  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by mama and her little bear View Post
    yes and do you know how MANY times I was told just dont do it with MY addiction?
    Save your skin, save your muscles, save the blood you loose from it, save the forever disfigured body, save the HEALTH problems it DOES cause, save yourself from the risk of infection, hell many times also save your ****ing life.

    Addiction doesnt work like that, addiction has you shaking so hard you can (and often do) vomit, it has you SO tense everything in you SCREAMS for release, you get so anxious you cant even think straight let alone behave in a logical manor,

    It has you sweat, your gut feels so so sick, then you shake and you quite possibly vomit, it reaches a point that you cant even THINK about anything but that thing

    It is never as easy as just dont do it, if it was addiction wouldnt exist, if it was I wouldve saved myself the pain, the physical HURT from not doing my addiction and I just wouldnt have done it.

    DO you think addicts LIKE this? do you think when they try to quit and they regress and for one sweet second their world is logical and normal and SANE then the guilt of failure kicks in, the fact that they are hurting their loved ones (and usually themselves) do you think they dont KNOW the dangers of their addiction? they enjoy it?

    The release is amazing, I will always have my addiction despite not doing it for 7 years, 7 years and I wear the damage from it, I am injured from it, I know the danger it carries, the side affects it causes and just how ****ing stupid of an act it is but still to this day I struggle AT LEAST weekly with these urges, I get so on edge I have trouble breathing, I find it hard to focus, I feel so anxious and nervous that I cant even THINK straight and all the while my stupid brain is saying do it! do it! oh sweet release just give us what we need

    And in times of high stress (like being pregnant) it takes every single ounce of strength that I managed to build from 2006 when I quit to 2009 when I first got pregnant,

    It took me MONTHS to break it, MONTHS of second by second, minute by minute fighting, months of saying well I regressed today but I will try again tomorrow and tomorrow I will aim for 2 hours / 2 days / 2 weeks etc etc etc,

    It was a constant **** fight with the demon in my brain that STILL cries for that release,

    I am horrified when I remember what I've done, horrified and yet at the same time when I THINK about these things I get a happy feeling as well, my body remembers the release it gave me so while I am horrified at what I have done to myself for my addiction at the same time my gut drops and I think oh **** just once more (except its never just once more)

  2. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissH View Post
    If they cared as much as they should they would be trying to ensure their baby gets the freshest healthiest start possible. Everybody makes sacrifices in their life for their children, whether its cigarettes, alcohol, or things like jobs or education, even relationships. But if your carrying a defenceless child who has no choice in the matter, you could get your family to help you, and just not buy that packet of cigarettes and buy your child something instead.
    So are you saying that myself and all the other mothers on here that have admitted to having a smoke whilst pregnant don't care about our children as much as we should?

  3. #153
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    Yes I judge. No I don't say anything. My kids do though LOL. Whenever they see someone smoking in public (pregnant or not) they hold their noses and yell out to each other "DON'T BREATHE THE POISON!!!"

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  5. #154
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    I really dislike it but I do not preech about it to ppl that do it or treat them badly but I do think if you are going to do it there should be no excuses other than it is your own addiction and unfortunately you were unable to kick it! I know a 40/50 pack a day girl that used the excuse "my doctor told me quitting would be too harmful on my baby" until she had her - rubbish! My first antenatal appointment they even took me through all the quitline stuff and I was only an exsmoker!!!

    A technique that I find quite successful is every time you inhale your cigarette picture your baby inhaling it and coughing or crying... It's not for everyone but as I said it's quite successful because most ppl are too mortified to do it again!

    One thing that really freaking grinds my gears is ppl smoking around my child! I hate walking to the local shopping centre entrance because I have to walk my daughter through a haze of smoke, or my MIL's inconsiderate a-hole boyfriend who lights his cigarette in the lounge room before walking outside to smoke it (it's ridiculous).

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    Last edited by miraclemakers; 25-04-2013 at 01:53.

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  7. #155
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    I don't judge because I have been there.

    I went cold turkey in my first pregnancy but miscarried a week later. Wanted to quit during my second pregnancy but although I was pregnant my life circumstances didn't change, I still had to deal with the stress that pushed me to smoke, and I smoked in public because it was work stress, I didn't smoke in private because I didn't need to. I cut back on my cigarettes and smoked weaker cigarettes but couldn't give up entirely. I was never spoken to about smoking except given support from people who told me stories about how their wives, mothers etc smoked during pregnancy and had perfectly healthy babies. I turned out to be one of the unlucky ones, as my son was born at 32 weeks due to growth issues, I quit smoking the day he was born, it was much easier to quit as I obviously didn't have the work stress to worry about anymore.

    I do feel guilty for smoking during pregnancy but you can't tell me that I love my son any less then non-smokers do. My second child also stopped growing properly during pregnancy even though I am now a non-smoker.

  8. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by loodle View Post
    So are you saying that myself and all the other mothers on here that have admitted to having a smoke whilst pregnant don't care about our children as much as we should?
    I would be horrified if someone suggested that.

    I have already said I judge it, but it is an instant thing of all smokers (not a smoker and makes me feel sick the smell so usually a natural reaction) not just pregnant mums. But I also would never say it.

    My husband used to smoke. He tried to give up many a time. I even begged him to start again when I could tell it wasn't the right time and the stress was too much on both of us.

    When he was ready to give up it was relatively easy (in comparison to times it was dreadful) but it is still a battle he fights every day. Has to avoid triggers that woudl normally make him want to smoke.

    My dad has been a life long smoker and I hate the smell of it and hate him smoking around my kid or me but he adores my son more than anything so I would never corrolate him or anyone else smoking with not caring about kids. I just don't like smoking. Just like some people would judge me for having random purple patches in my hair.

  9. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by miraclemakers View Post
    "my doctor told me quitting would be too harmful on my baby" until she had her - rubbish!
    Sent from my ST25a using BubHub
    I have heard that before too, and was wondering if it was true? How do you know that it isn't though? Do you work in the medical field? My friend said that to me, and she really isn't the type of person who lies.

  10. #158
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    Yes some Drs do say that. Withdrawal from smoking on the body can be harmful to the baby as well.

    The new ads on TV give you an idea of what quitting and withdrawal is like.

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  12. #159
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    Thanks Lauzy, my friend is just not a liar at all. I knew she wouldn't lie about something like that.

    I also think you can't lump all smoking pregnant women into one group. Some don't give a toss, don't try and cut down etc. And others struggle every day, they want to quit, they feel immense guilt, they want to do the best for their baby but they find it a real struggle.

    I think it is simplistic to lump them all together in the selfish pile.

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    anonyme  (25-04-2013),atomicmama  (25-04-2013),ChickyBee  (25-04-2013),Lauzy83  (25-04-2013),MonsterMoosMum  (25-04-2013),Stephii  (25-04-2013)

  14. #160
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    There was a series of shows on SBS or ABC last year called 'Mums behaving badly' (or something like that!) and it was midwives going around Wales trying to get pregnant women to kick awful habits (drinking, smoking, junk food, stress, etc). There was a mom who smoked and felt that it wasn't harming her baby. The midwife had her do this breathalyzer type thing that showed how much CO2 she was forcing into her baby and then the dangers. It was quite shocking. She tried to quit immediately after, a struggle at first but she did it. By the end when they had her do the breathalyzer all her levels were safe. I wonder if GPs and midwives have something like that here and if it would work?

    I understand there are probably women out there who genuinely try to quit and struggle but there are also women out there who smoke and honestly believe they're not doing harm so therefore don't try to quit.

    Would you judge a pregnant woman if you saw her taking a shot of tequila or regularly drinking?

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