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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    See I would have thought that would make a person less judgmental, not more.
    Nope cause I judge myself harshly on my stupid choice which could be taking my time away from my children.
    In this day and age I think we know the risks of smoking and as parents we owe it to our children to bring them into this world healthy and to keep ourselves as healthy as we can be in order to try , TRY to live as long as we can.
    It is a choice and a choice only we have control over and I do find my choice to smoke one of the worst choices in my life for me and my family.
    I don't make excuses for my smoking just that I am an extremely stupid person and I need to find another stress outlet

  2. #102
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    I haven't read the other posts... but If I was being 110% honest... Yes! But I would never have the courage to say something about it. I figure these women know the risks & probably have enough guilt themselves.

    A woman from my work smoked throughout her entire pregnancy and I was telling my midwife about it.. My midwife told me that saying something can often make things worse & make the woman more inclined to smoke. She said positive support is the best... Congratulate them on how much they have cut back, rather than how much they are still smoking. (I didn't do either, as I couldn't bring myself to bring it up with her - but I would if it was someone close to me like family or friends)

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  4. #103
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    Cassieh, I think that sounds like a good tip. Shaming people never works.

  5. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by LauraH80 View Post
    Speaking of another thread, I wonder if people would be happy with a "what do you see parents do that you judge?" thread. People are happy to jump on the judging smokers while pregnant bandwagon, but I bet some of those same people do things with their children that I judge - as I mentioned in my previous post here I was openly judged by a woman while I smoked while pregnant who put her child at risk by watching and glaring at me rather than stop her toddler running into a busy carpark.
    I think every parent particularly mothers could do with being less judgmental. Parenting is a tough gig.
    Last edited by Sonja; 24-04-2013 at 12:33.

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  7. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I think every parent particularly mothers could do with being less judgmental. Parenting is a tough kid.
    Oh I agree. I'm a new parent and it is tough. It's not any easier when people feel the need to voice their opinions on how a parent is doing their job. I don't glare or say anything to anyone about how they are raising their kids, but I do silently judge them. I'm just baffled that some people seem to think it's ok to do it out loud but I'm also baffled by some of the things I see parents do. Sometimes I think I should say something, like "hey, your kid is about to get hit by a car while you're glaring at me having a cigarette, oh perfect mother."

    I guess the point to my previous post would be how many people who openly judge a pregnant smoker would be happy to be on the receiving end with what they do?

    I'm rambling, not much sleep last night! As you said, parenting is tough!

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  9. #106
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    I understand what you are saying Laura and I agree. We all judge but do we like it when we are judged on things others don't agree on?

    Smoking is an easy topic to have an opinion on. And one people feel comfortable, right or wrongly, voicing their opinion on.

    I think anyone who says they don't judge anyone is telling a little while lie there. I judge in my head, I certainly don't glare or say anyting to peoples faces.

    But this applies to not only smoking, its the mum I saw feeding her baby in a capsule (so still wee) maccas french fries, its the mum I saw not wiping her very very snotty kids nose.

    I would do things people don't like no doubt. I think judgement is almost a natural instinct, what isn't natural and is totally our choice is how we act on it. Unless a child is in clear and present danger, and yes one my argue smoking is that, and I am frightened for their immediate safety, I would never step in. But this is also the case for animals and adults.

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  11. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    I get annoyed if I have to walk through somebody's smoke haze in a clearly "no smoking" signed area. I hold my breath and make DD do the same.
    I hate that too. Especially outside an entry to a shopping centre. I hold my breath also.

  12. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by LauraH80 View Post
    Oh I agree. I'm a new parent and it is tough. It's not any easier when people feel the need to voice their opinions on how a parent is doing their job. I don't glare or say anything to anyone about how they are raising their kids, but I do silently judge them. I'm just baffled that some people seem to think it's ok to do it out loud but I'm also baffled by some of the things I see parents do. Sometimes I think I should say something, like "hey, your kid is about to get hit by a car while you're glaring at me having a cigarette, oh perfect mother."

    I guess the point to my previous post would be how many people who openly judge a pregnant smoker would be happy to be on the receiving end with what they do?

    I'm rambling, not much sleep last night! As you said, parenting is tough!
    No what you're saying is fine - I get it. I just don't get the amount of judging that goes on. Before I had kids I judged others all the time. But now I've had 3 very different kids who challenge me in very different ways, and I am also constantly exhausted from being pregnant and working, I just roll my eyes so hard when I see these threads my eye balls almost get stuck in the back of my head.

    None of us are perfect least of all me - I don't judge anymore and hope that other people give me the benefit of the doubt when they see me at my less than perfect moments.

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  14. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I think every parent particularly mothers could do with being less judgmental. Parenting is a tough gig.
    I agree, I am far from the perfect mother and I would hate to think someone is judging me so I don't judge others.

  15. #110
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    I judge, I really do. The smell of cigarette smoke makes my dry retch, as I used to be a smoker. I quit on my wedding day as my DH said he would not ttc until I stopped. So when I walk past someone smoking and start dry retching it seems im making a statement, but not intentionally.
    I judge everything 'wrong' a pregnant women does, but never publically or vocally, but it relates to my pain of having 2 stillborns and the feelings of 'that's not fair' but hey, life isn't!


 

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