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  1. #21
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    I can see that you probably didn't mean "cruel" exactly Proudmumma...not in the sense that it is abusive, anyway.

    I don't think going to work is cruel in anyway though...actually...what is cruel about it is that we don't live in a society that values parenting enough to support us to have one parent at home a little longer. Even a lot of us women complain about single-mothers who choose to start at home to look after their kids!!!

    Have a look at the statistics from around the world and you will notice that Australia *still*has one of the poorest paid maternity leave schemes across both the developed and developing worlds.

    Our industrial legislation says that we have the right to take up to 12 months away from our paid work to raise or children...it does not support this with financial assistance to do so, however, making it completely impossible for most of us.

    OP, I was definitely not ready to go back to work when my baby was your babies age...but I was ready to go back sooner than 12 months.

    Do you have the ability to do fewer hours/days?

    Also, if you are paying off debts like car loans, personal loans and a mortgage etc then have you been to your bank to temporarily rejig your finances...we did this and it REALLY made a difference. We are with CBA and fund then very open to this, however, if your bank is not then check out credit union Australia or another credit union. We have since had some dealings with then and have going then so much more people focused.
    Last edited by Albert01; 29-04-2013 at 08:53.

  2. #22
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    Op has stated that staying home is not an option for their family financially which is a reality for lots of families (mine included) so maybe telling her its a cruel or whatever thing to work is not warranted in this particular post.. Any who op I work two days a week but was lucky to get a job outside my dp hrs. So he finishes and I fly out the door lol. This means no childcare costs ect. It's hectic at the best of times and sometimes heart breaking but it pays the mortgage! It's also far from my career but my career didn't have suitable hrs!

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  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    If I hadn't used the word cruel and had worded it a bit differently like saying I think it's 'better' for a mum to stay home...would you of all lashed out at me? I believe so...just because it doesn't sit well some of you because..... and I'm not saying what you all want to hear because you belueve it too. Yes everyones situation is different and at the end of the day if you really need to work so badly that you can't literally pay your bills or mortgage or rent etc then you have to factor that in.

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    Oh dear. I think it is 'better' for babies not to be around such small minded people 24/7.

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  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    If I hadn't used the word cruel and had worded it a bit differently like saying I think it's 'better' for a mum to stay home...would you of all lashed out at me? I believe so...just because it doesn't sit well some of you because..... and I'm not saying what you all want to hear because you belueve it too. Yes everyones situation is different and at the end of the day if you really need to work so badly that you can't literally pay your bills or mortgage or rent etc then you have to factor that in.

    Sent from my GT-N7105T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    You have completely missed the point.

    I do not believe that it is best for mum to be home with bub for at least 12 months. Not in all cases. I dont believe that this is the only 'right' way to parent.

    I dont believe a mother should ve made to feel bad/worse for going back to work because she has to. Just like I also don't believe a mother should be made to feel bad for CHOOSING to go back to work when she doesnt 'have' to. Because it is her choice, her family, her life - and people should respect others choices and respect the fact that they are doing what is right for them and their family and situation.

    So no, if you worded it differently but the sentiment was the same, I wouldnt agree. But it wouldn't be because I am saying it to make others feel better. It is because I wholeheartedly disagree with your opinion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    If I hadn't used the word cruel and had worded it a bit differently like saying I think it's 'better' for a mum to stay home...would you of all lashed out at me? I believe so...just because it doesn't sit well some of you because..... and I'm not saying what you all want to hear because you belueve it too. Yes everyones situation is different and at the end of the day if you really need to work so badly that you can't literally pay your bills or mortgage or rent etc then you have to factor that in.

    Sent from my GT-N7105T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    You are probably right, people would have still disagreed if you used the word "better". Better for who? Each individual, their situation and their needs, are different. Maybe for you staying home was better. For someone else, it might not be.

    OP asked for ideas on how to extend her time with bub. Instead you posted about how cruel it would be for her to return to work. I returned to work when my first was 9 months, and when my second was 10 months. I didn't stay home for the magical 12 months. Am I cruel? No. Do my kids miss out? No.

    Family finances are hugely important. Financial problems are often key in in family breakdowns. Some mums simply do not have the financial resources to stay at home. There is nothing wrong with a mum going back to work when it is the best thing for family as a whole. It is certainly not cruel. A mother who stays home for over 12 months is not better. She is just in a different situation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Oh dear. I think it is 'better' for babies not to be around such small minded people 24/7.
    Hehe love it <3


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  11. #27
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    It is sad having to return to work early. Added to that is the opinion of some SAHM's and the older generations that think you should just make some sacrifices to be able to afford it. Unfortunately the economy is structured so that 2 ppl in each household have to work. You have to go back to work just to get by. If your partners salary or savings allow you to stay at home, that is a wonderful windfall, but it's not the case for the majority. I will do a party plan business, probably Tupperware or enjo to bring in some money after the first 6 months. Would that suit you OP? Please don't let yourself feel guilty about working. As a parent, you have to provide for your child which may mean doing things you don't want to do. Best if luck!

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    I honestly don't care what others think of me or my opinions or if u think I'm small minded. Spent more than half my life letting others walk all over me and never stood up for myself. This is a forum after all where different ppl have different views.

    I have no suggestions for extra ways to make money unfortunately.
    Last edited by ProudMumma34; 29-04-2013 at 09:43.

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Hi OP. A friend of mine used to do a few catalogue drops a week to earn some extra dollars. Seemed to work for her. It got her out of the house, exercising and earning some monies. :-)

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    oooh that's a good idea!!! As long as you don't have too many catalogues to roll and prepare Ick.

    OP are you able to take maternity leave at half pay so that you can stretch it our for 12 months instead of 6 months?

  15. #30
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    OP, do you play sport? Could you train up as a referee or similar? Our local football (soccer) association pays their black and whites between $50 and $100 a game, you can bring bub, get some exercise too. I also play indoor sport, they are always asking for more referees and umpires.

    Also, my football club outsources the running of our canteen to one of the local mums who gets paid to run it. If you are involved in a sporting club it never hurts to ask!

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