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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    I would definitely take 1 yr off at least! I'm assuming this is ur first bub? They need you so much at that age still it would be cruel to leave them.

    Why don't you try mystery shopping? You can do a search on Google to get more info.

    Have you found out your entitlement s from centrelink?

    Sent from my GT-N7105T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Cruel ? Are you kidding me ? Op babies and families adapt to their own situation . If you have to go back to work do not let mummy guilt eat you. I work one day a week and ds is in care two days and he loves it. He is nearly 1 and waved me good bye this morning.

    Please do what is best for you and your family. Don't let other horrible pp upset you .


    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub app

  2. #12
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    Are you able to go back 2-3 days per week? I felt how you do in the early stages, I was lucky to have 12 months off but by the 8 month mark I was ready to go back to work. I don't feel guilty, I don't think it is cruel and I am not a bad Mum. In fact I have more time than a lot of Mums I know that try to run home businesses or do little jobs here and there, as I am out of the home 8hrs, 3 days a week, get paid well, my kids are well looked after, stimulated and educated at childcare. My days off, are days off - 100% devoted to my children - no email, orders to fill, phone calls to take or stress of advertising and finding work. As nice as it is to have your kids at home, if you are trying to make ends meet and constantly stressed, I actually think that is more cruel than leaving them at a good day care centre a few times a week.
    Just another perspective for you.

  3. #13
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    I just want to add that no one has the right to tell you it's cruel to go back to work! I went back when my bub was 7 months for 4 days a week. We're not all lucky enough to stay home :/ some ppl are just in better positions than others.

  4. #14
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    Everyone is entitled to their opinion which is what mine is. I probably should of used a different word to cruel but I do still stand by what I meant that 'I' beleive that a child needs its mother there for the first 12 months at least. Your all saying how 'horrible' and judgemental I am....but what about the reality of a newborn that changes so much...that wakes up constantly to be fed who's night time and day time routines change so constantly. From birth to 12 mths a baby goes through so many growth spurts and changes, some kids having settling problems. Some won't sleep properly...alot here are mothers so they know. A baby needs its mother. All of you had a go at me because I said to stay home for at least first 12mths but what about the baby's needs?? Life isn't just about money and what you can provide for your family financially all the time. You have your ups and downs...you struggle....it's tempoary...money comes and goes but that first year of a baby's life you can't get back and to me if you can't share it with them its s bit sad because its alot of 'firsts'. So please sugarcoat it and don't just yell out about how wrong I am bevsuse i voiced my opinion. I am a first time mum and found it soooo hard adjusting each time my son changed and i had to start all over again. Plus there is also the cost of childcare to factor in. Solly is obviously a 1st time mum too. At the end of the day we are all entitled to our own opinions and different things work for different people...I guess I could of used a different word than cruel but I won't apologise for what I meant in my post. I'm not just going to respond with what people want to hear. Solly needs to know about the reality and the reality of both sides...not just it's ok to go back to work....it's not as easy as that....and you all know that
    Last edited by ProudMumma34; 29-04-2013 at 08:37.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    Everyone is entitled to their opinion which is what mine is. I probably should of used a different word to cruel but I do still stand by what I meant that 'I' beleive that a child needs its mother there for the first 12 months at least. Your all saying how 'horrible' and judgemental I am....but what about the reality of a newborn that changes so much...that wakes up constantly to be fed who's night time and day time routines change so constantly. From birth to 12 mths a baby goes through so many growth spurts and changes, some kids having settling problems. Some won't sleep properly...alot here are mothers so they know. A baby needs its mother. All of you had a go at me because I said to stay home for at least first 12mths but what about the baby's needs?? Life isn't just about money and what you can provide for your family financially all the time. You have your ups and downs...you struggle....it's tempoary...money comes and goes but that first year of a baby's life you can't get back and to me if you can't share it with them its s bit sad because its alot of 'firsts'. So please sugarcoat it and don't just yell out about how wrong I am bevsuse i voiced my opinion. I am a first time mum and found it soooo hard adjusting each time my son changed and i had to start all over again. Plus there is also the cost of childcare to factor in. Solly is obviously a 1st time mum too. At the end of the day we are all entitled to our own opinions and different things work for different people...I guess I could of used a different word than cruel but I won't apologise for what I meant in my post. I'm not just going to respond with what people want to hear
    Sorry but its people voicing opinions like this and maiing mothers feel guilty that makes mothers guilt so much worse.

    Yes everyone has their own opinion. IMO that doesnt make it ok to state that opinion and make others feel bad for the choices that they have to make in life.

    Congratulations for potentially making a lot of mothers feel bad about themselves and their choices. There is no 'right' way to be a parent. There is only the right way for you to parent YOUR child. Perhaps try to remember that before calling other mothers cruel in the future.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  7. #16
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    A friend of mine extended her mat leave by doing a combination of things:

    Catalogue drop. From memory she made about $50 a week.
    Shelf stacking at coles 1-2 nights a week
    Taking in ironing. Something I could never do! I hate ironing.
    House cleaning for busy friends. A couple of our friends are DINKs, so she did their basic cleaning, for around $50-$70 depending on the house. Just toilets, floors and dusting type cleaning. She took bub with her.

    If it doesn't work out for you, please do not believe that going back to work is cruel. Providing for your family is not cruel.

    Sent from my GT-N8010 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  9. #17
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    If I hadn't used the word cruel and had worded it a bit differently like saying I think it's 'better' for a mum to stay home...would you of all lashed out at me? I believe so...just because it doesn't sit well some of you because..... and I'm not saying what you all want to hear because you belueve it too. Yes everyones situation is different and at the end of the day if you really need to work so badly that you can't literally pay your bills or mortgage or rent etc then you have to factor that in.

    Sent from my GT-N7105T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    Everyone is entitled to their opinion which is what mine is. I probably should of used a different word to cruel but I do still stand by what I meant that 'I' beleive that a child needs its mother there for the first 12 months at least. Your all saying how 'horrible' and judgemental I am....but what about the reality of a newborn that changes so much...that wakes up constantly to be fed who's night time and day time routines change so constantly. From birth to 12 mths a baby goes through so many growth spurts and changes, some kids having settling problems. Some won't sleep properly...alot here are mothers so they know. A baby needs its mother. All of you had a go at me because I said to stay home for at least first 12mths but what about the baby's needs?? Life isn't just about money and what you can provide for your family financially all the time. You have your ups and downs...you struggle....it's tempoary...money comes and goes but that first year of a baby's life you can't get back and to me if you can't share it with them its s bit sad because its alot of 'firsts'. So please sugarcoat it and don't just yell out about how wrong I am bevsuse i voiced my opinion. I am a first time mum and found it soooo hard adjusting each time my son changed and i had to start all over again. Plus there is also the cost of childcare to factor in. Solly is obviously a 1st time mum too. At the end of the day we are all entitled to our own opinions and different things work for different people...I guess I could of used a different word than cruel but I won't apologise for what I meant in my post. I'm not just going to respond with what people want to hear. Solly needs to know about the reality and the reality of both sides...not just it's ok to go back to work....it's not as easy as that....and you all know that
    It IS ok to go back to work though. You seem to say that finances are not important? It's pretty hard to pay the bills with love. People "had a go" because your advice is not helpful and is potentially damaging. The OP says she cannot afford to have no income. You say that apparently doesn't matter and that she is cruel to consider it.

    Solly- please ignore this PP. I second what others have said, perhaps you can go back part time or find a night fill job to help ends meet and bridge that further 6 months? Otherwise, you can try catalogue drops, newspaper drops, a home based Facebook business if you are crafty or can offer a service (baking, photography, design, dog walking etc) Another option might be family day care if you are so inclined. I have to return to work two shifts a week in June, DD2 will be 8.5 months. I have found a lovely carer for her, I don't feel I'm being cruel at all and any insinuation that I, or anyone else, is cruel for providing for our families is ridiculous and presumptuous in the extreme.

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  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    If I hadn't used the word cruel and had worded it a bit differently like saying I think it's 'better' for a mum to stay home...would you of all lashed out at me? I believe so...just because it doesn't sit well some of you because..... and I'm not saying what you all want to hear because you belueve it too. Yes everyones situation is different and at the end of the day if you really need to work so badly that you can't literally pay your bills or mortgage or rent etc then you have to factor that in.

    Sent from my GT-N7105T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Please, continue to tell us all what we believe...?

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  14. #20
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    Going back to work when you want to be home is hard very hard emotionally but people have to do what they have to do to put a roof over their heads ,food in their mouths an clothes on their backs.

    The Choice word of cruel was wrong oh so very wrong and that word does nothing but make a already struggling mum or mum to be feel even worse.

    Going back to work isn't even a choice for some but simply a reality and words like cruel cut real deep and its extremely unfair to put a person down r make them feel even worse.

    OP no matter what you do please know you are not alone there are plenty. Mums that have been in your shoes , who know exactly how you're feeling. You are not cruel if returning to work Is what you have to do and please though iit might emotionally hurt you ad you may feel like its cruel it most certainly is not !


    Sent from a magical mobile bubhub device in a galaxy far far away
    Last edited by MonsterMoosMum; 29-04-2013 at 08:51.

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