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  1. #401
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    Sorry for the delay – this has been really hard to write. Plus I could not find the forum/thread on which to post. I cannot make out which is the last post to a thread or if you repost to a closed thread. I am a bit of a reader not poster. I was asked to detail what happened to me at CFC. I can see some good results and I am so happy for those of you who did/have.

    OK here are a few examples about the problems I had with CFC.

    I like the anonymity of a forum as I cannot tell my friends about this (I am very private). My best friend does not agree with IVF let alone donor eggs so I only have my partner to talk to. This is a private thing.

    I have had an unsuccessful E transfer at CFC. I used a Dr that none of you have mentioned. On the whole, a nice person who I believe means well, but .........

    My transfer was horrifically painful and I was in absolute agony (I have had 7 or so transfers in my local clinic, so far and all were fine). I have a high pain threshold yet I was cranked open wider than I can go and my cervix was cut and bleeding. I felt violated and abused, the pain searing though me was so bad I was screaming (and I am quite a stoic person). It went on for ages as they left me cranked open whist a nurse opened the door to the corridor (hey anyone passing could have good view!) She went to get a BIGGER speculum. I felt violated and abused. The Dr kept muttering ‘do no harm’, she harmed me both physically and emotionally. I could not stop crying for weeks.

    I was left really badly bruised, it took weeks to heal. I could not sit down properly and going to the loo was excruciating. I am traumatised by it all. The nurse was talking to me like I was 6yrs old and my partner patting me like I was a dog, not knowing what to do.

    I was told the painful transfer was my fault as I was titled inside.

    I was told what I went through was ‘not the norm’. It’s a transfer not retrieval and it was worse!! I still have flashbacks, I still wake up in a sweat and I still cannot forget the agony. I think of it every day and cannot get it out of my head. I feel like I have been attacked/abused. I haven’t been able to work since and when I think of it I twitch and I think of it almost constantly, I cannot get it out of my head. We no longer have a sex life.

    I feel so horrifically badly for the amazing girl who was my donor, if that is what I went through, what trauma and pain did she suffer? I have to admit I have lost sleep over that question. I feel such guilt about what she must have gone though as it must surely have been worse than my experience.

    Dr said if I go back that they would do a FET under a GENERAL anaesthetic – but I have a medical issue that means I cannot have one. I did not even have a general for the egg retrievals at the other clinic. CFC had this information but still felt that would be a good idea. This does not make sense as it could kill me. This is more about the Dr than me.

    Usually at a transfer you have to identify yourself and they identify the embryos to you – then you sign something. I had none of that. I was also called by the wrong name in the process which was disconcerting. I did see 2 dots (literally dots) on the screen and that was it – no identification procedure. I was told my experience was ‘not the norm’.

    I was not given details of the process in relation what the drugs do etc. The listings tell you what to take and when, nothing about what the drug is and what it is for. I had no idea that my ovaries would be shut down, as that does carry risks.
    Remember some of the drugs are from dead guinea pigs etc and you will no longer be able to donate blood or bone marrow due to some of the drugs you are given as the donor service think it is ‘too risky’. I was turned away from the donor service, very embarrassing.

    I was not informed how many embryos were frozen and what grade they were – I had to chase and chase. I was told this is ‘not the norm’. Their live thaw out rate for embryos, according to an email from them, is only about 43 %. This does appear below average.

    I did not get a response to blood test results after the 2week wait. However I am not stupid so know it was negative – also I have read that a traumatic transfer is highly unlikely to produce a BFP, I did not expect a positive result. However I had had positive HPT during that time so needed to know if it had been a yes then a no. I got the answer some months later when I chased. They said no.

    I am still, a year later in pain with the injection sites – they do not care about that – that too is not the norm.

    I sent an email with several questions and I was ignored for weeks and weeks. I chased. One of my questions was if the Dr could learn to do the transfer painlessly but I was not answered for 2 months, I chased and another month passed. I have embryos there so I am stuck. My questions about learning to do it (along with other questions) have still not been answered properly and I cannot ‘suck it and see’ in this situation. I am told that is not the norm (a phrase that I seem to hear a lot!). Asking questions about ability does not go down well with Drs, who do not want to talk to me now. I asked to call them at a good time but was told I could not call, only email. I no longer trust them, so have to ask and ask and ask to get questions answered as I really need to have the full information before I can think about going back, but that is proving difficult. I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt but they have not admitted to anything nor offered any explanations nor have I had an apology for this whole sorry saga! – After all it was all my fault it seems.

    If their processes are not working I have no idea if they have changed them or even looked into them. They have really disappointed me. I would happily go back again to SA, so I will need to find a different clinic. The co-ordinator was wonderful and really pleasant and helpful but she struggled to get the Dr to respond who then decided not to respond to me again. I had been very polite in my questioning but the Dr was obviously angry.

    If things go wrong and you ask too many questions it does not seem to go down too well. I need information and I do my research before I jump. (So much so that I came across the on line dating profile of one of the CFC Drs.). No one is perfect and mistakes are made but no one will admit to them. I am truly sacred about having another transfer and I have had LOADS – and all bar this one were absolutely fine.

    As I have had all these incidents which are labelled ‘not the norm’ I would advise caution using this clinic. If it was one, ‘not the norm’ and I had had a response from the Dr that sounded as if they truly cared and things had changed, then fair enough but it has been a constant string of ‘not the norm’. Am I the unluckiest person in the world?

    You pay top dollar for their ‘expertise’ so you should be allowed to ask questions and yes even about their ability, surely it is not all one sided? They can take your money and give you a shoddy service and you cannot say anything about it? I really do not understand their actions.

    Do your research well, I did come across a Dr practising in fertility in SA (not CFC) that was previously struck off in the UK for an anaesthesiology issue, he had swopped to a different field. So I am not sure what organisations govern the clinics in SA. So please, before you go google, google, google!

    Last week I was dealing with a really lovely hospital Dr on a totally unrelated issue, (I hang around lots of Drs), I told them something about a product they had not heard of. (I had been researching it as it affected a friend). She went away checked it out and called me later, having looked it up and told me that she was pleased to have met me as she had learnt something new and knowing this information meant that she did not need to do as many operations in the future. Point being, we can all learn if we have an open mind. I am not sure that all Drs have this view.

    The donor agency rep I used – it was a quick process and pretty straight forward. If only it was like this in other countries! I would have preferred less of an emotional tone to the emails, as I am not ‘fluffy’ or ‘sharing’ with email strangers, but she was nice. They ask you to fill out a medical records form that they then send to the clinic – this has your very personal information on it and is not relevant to the agent (how many times you have tried IVF/ miscarriages /still births/physical problems of you/partner etc). – so send it straight to the clinic. I was very uncomfortable with these strangers knowing my history and chose not to share.

    What was a little frustrating was that I asked a ‘yes/no’ question of the agent and instead I got 3 replies of several paragraphs long which wasted several days. It was about money – and they did not want to admit the answer was ‘yes’ – the question was: if my donor pulls out do you keep all the money? I still went with them –and it did not make a difference to my decision, I just needed to know where I stood.

    So at the moment I am in a holding position. I have embryos and no one to transfer them. So if anyone knows of a good fertility female Dr in Cape Town/SA let me know.
    Last edited by Hopeandprayer; 11-07-2013 at 09:32.

  2. #402
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    Hi Hopeandprayer, how awful, I am shocked. I hope the Dr who treated you doesn't work there anymore. I hope you and your partner are able to see a councilor or someone that can help you through this so that your relationship stays strong. If you are willing to try again perhaps one of the other Drs that the forum ladies have tried and spoken of would be understanding and a lot more considerate of how you feel?
    Wish I could reach out and give you a big hug. I am thinking of you.

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    DJSHEARS  (11-07-2013)

  4. #403
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    Hopeandprayer... Wow, your post really through me. I am sorry to hear your bad experience and any discomfort you felt. I understand that you felt violated with the door left open and I agree that those things that provide modesty etc are important to a lot of women. No excuses and I am not justifying them, but from all of the wonderful things we know (including from women with a BFN), I am sure your case must be pretty much a stand alone.

    In regards to pain, I hear you. My pain threshold is pretty good and my FS here could not get a paediatric catheter through my cervix as it is so closed and does not dilate at all. They ended up stabbing away with some cone thing to get the catheter in and then later I went to surgery to have it surgically dilated. I don't feel bad in my case that the pain was so intense. It was due to my cervix. My FS here said that would have given me valium had they know beforehand. I am expecting that when I have transfer in a couple of weeks it will be a bit painful for me, usually is.

    I guess sometimes, when things go wrong, they can go terribly wrong. Often when the hurt goes away and the anger sets in, it can be soul destroying and you sometimes just have to let it go or you don't heal emotionally. I have found this a few times with painful things in my life. Partly ivf related. I hope you can find some peace within yourself. Have you considered acupuncture as that can be quite good for stress and things?? Even have a chat with an IVF counsellor as they can be really understanding and it may help. I wish I had at one stage but I think the counsellor at my previous clinic was not really a great "click" for me!

    In regards to the online dating with one of the Drs... I found that too. I guess for me I found it quite liberating. They have a life away from the clinic and to internet date is quite the norm in todays society and I am not sure of why that is even raised in your concerns with your medical treatment...totally unrelated and really nothing to do with anyone. I couldn't give two hoots what a doctor does socially.

    I hope that you can find some comfort in yourself so that you can move on. You have embies in the freezer so why not let all of this go and focus on how precious they are and make a plan to cycle. Even if you go back to CFC, use a different doctor! Sorry but I cant offer any advise about another female specialist over there.

    I hope you feel better in yourself and hope that your next cycle has a different outcome.

    Hugs

    Donna

  5. #404
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    Hi ladies

    We went in for the transfer yesterday All 6 were still growing, we had 2 5day blasts and the rest were pre blasts just about to be blasts. We were shown all 6 on the screen which was amazing!! Dr.H went though why we should transfer 1 or 2 and he decided two would be best for us. He chose the strongest 2 and it was really over in a matter of minutes. He said we should get at least a few frosties as well so I have to email the lab today. I woke up with a horrible cold yesterday as well so Dr.H said it wouldn't affect the transfer but to take paracetemol every 4-6 hours so I didn't get a fever. Test date is July 19th

    For any ladies that like to plan things ahead of time (I'm one of them) Its difficult to plan things even while here because things change like my EC day and then that affected my ET day. Also as January said don't go to far from the clinic on the day the lab is supposed to call because nothing is set in stone. If I've learned anything while here its that things can be a rollercoaster even with donor egg cycles.

    Sunny, I think you were asking about the Safari? I definately would not go after transfer. We went to Aquila and it was pretty bumpy, it was awesome though!!

    Abundance and Libelle, I'm so sorry

    Hope everyone is well and welcome to all of the new ladies We leave for home on Saturday morning, I'm sad to leave but I'll be glad to get home as well

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to crystal4431 For This Useful Post:

    Rainbowchaser  (11-07-2013),Sunny15  (11-07-2013)

  7. #405
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    Crystal - really happy that everything went so well for you. That's absolutely wonderful news.

    Thank you for sharing your tip about planning things. I am one of those women too and will definitely not plan to go on Safari until we are in Cape Town and know what's happening with our donor ER and potential ET dates. I guess even when they schedule you in for 5 or 3dt - they don't know how those little embies will progress in the next day, so highly possible that we could be asked to go for 2dt (sigh) or 4dt?

    Wondering if anybody saw my earlier post on Predislone? Anybody used it - warned of risks associated with it? I would love some feedback from as many of you who would like to share with me about this, as its something that I woke up thinking about in the middle of the night last night

  8. #406
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    Good morning all,

    Crystal - great news for you. Good luck next week you must be ecstatic with some to freeze as well

    Hopeandprayer - wow your experience is quite disturbing to read. My heart goes out to you and I hope you get some answers and find a way forward to heal

    I had a terrible transfer at a clinic in Australia a few years ago and was really upset. It was my best chance to date. I had a perfect 5 day blast. When I went in for transfer I queried why the FS wasn't using an ultrasound? He said it was broken and it wasn't necessary!!! I was not comfortable but had no option but to go ahead. I also have a backward tilting uterus and really wanted the benefit of an ultrasound. After transfer I had terrible cramping and had to take painkillers! Although I will never really now why that cycle failed I think that my uterus was disturbed so much that it probably had little chance

    To all the ladies about to travel my transfer here was fine! I also have a cervix which is hard to penetrate, I think the FS tried 3 catheters! Just make sure you have a full bladder, it helps! The nurse assisting during the transfer was just beautiful. She kissed her palm and patted my belly after transfer wishing us luck. I was really touched!

    I have found that communication here is different to Australia as well. I was used to daily phone calls with the clinics in Australia but that is not how they operate here! They only call when absolutely necessary when they have information you need to know about.

    Last edited by January; 11-07-2013 at 16:17.

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  10. #407
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    Crystal....That is super news. Totally fantastic. Hope those little embies snuggle in and make themselves right at home. Will be thinking of you and can't wait to get good news from your BT.... xx

    January...Hiya...can't wait to hear your BT results too. Hoping you get super news!

    Chit chat later chikkies xx

  11. #408
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    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    January - OMG, what a stressful time for you to get back to the clinic in time for your transfer....the nurse sounds lovely. Your accommodation sounds magical.

    Missleo - Thanks for Vicky's name...will google her. Also, thanks for all your previous advice you have given me on accommodation etc...Koos has been so very helpful.

    Rainbow - Yes, I am currently on Prednisolone and I have been for quite a few of my IVF cycles. I have not heard of any risks of deformities, however, I haven't 'googled' it. Ive had 2 x FS here in Cairns prescribe it for me and Dr W in CFC has prescribed it too. I have elevated ANA, so I am on Clexane, Aspirin, Prednisolone and I will also have an Intralipid Infusion. Beware of Prednisolone side effects...I call it the Prednisolone Monster...you will eat anything and everything!...also, take it in the morning, otherwise it will affect your sleep.

    JodiW - What lovely news about your friend...I think you mentioned her in your very first post to commence this thread. Please pass on my congrats.

    Anait - Great news that Cyndi and Dr LR could intervene...what a load off your mind. Cyndi is a treasure....love her to bits....I keep saying to her, "Cyndi, you rock" and I always get a little giggle back!!

    Hopeandprayer - what an awful experience for you....please seek some assistance from a counsellor that specialises in IVF....both you and your partner. You cannot move forward until you have left your angst and hurt behind. I wish you well.

    BB4Me - How are you feeling? When is your next BT or first scan?

    Crystal - Congrats on your transfer...sounds like you had a very positive experience.

    AFM
    I haven't heard how my donor is progressing, but, I haven't asked either. Thought I would just ask at my first appointment. Decided a while ago that I would only worry about the things that I could influence or control...if I found out now that she was not progressing well, it would do my head in until I got to the clinic!!

    I have 'let go' on trying to be organised on booking our safari...will take a step back and 'go with the flow' on when we can get there...may just mean that I miss out on that little bit of luxury in the Dwyka Tented Lodge, but Im sure ANY safari that I can fit in will be very special. I also wont be doing safari after transfer...Im sure the embies are well protected in there, but Im not going to do anything that may make me question its impact on a BFN, if that's my end result.

    The Terbutaline is knocking me around a bit...I take 3 x 15ml a day and after each time I get the shakes/jitters...add 15mg Prednisolone and I am completely wired!!! Got a huge shock today...needed 27 x Viagra Pessaries and the pharmacy charged $560!!!!

    DJ and Anait - SEE YOU SOON!!!
    Last edited by Sunny15; 11-07-2013 at 18:44.

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  13. #409
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    Sorry, I had intended posting sooner after the news of my BFP. So many posts have been made since then!
    Rainbow Chaser, in answer to your question as to which Dr I used, it was Dr Wiswedel. The only meds he had me on was the pill, lucrin, progynova, and POI. He also wanted me to take a multivitamin with 400mcg folic acid in it (I use Elevit with iodine) and one dose of clexane before the flight home. I chose to have the intralipid infusion as well as I wasn’t on the Bondi protocol. Now that I am back, my aussie FS has me taking cardiprin (baby aspirin) and prednisone and doing more intralipid infusions. He also has me on a heap of supplements that I wasn’t taking before. I’m not using clexane as I have low factor 8 in my blood so it is slow to clot already.

    A question for the ladies taking Prenisolone, is this correct spelling? I am taking Prednisone (Panafcorte) I have had no side affects on it. I am wondering is their a difference between the two? It has not changed my appetite.

    I would like to say a big thankyou to all the ladies who have contributed to this forum and left their comments as it was an immense help to how comfortable I felt taking the leap to travel overseas for the first time ever to a country that is frequently portrayed as risky in the news. All the suggestions and tips made planning the trip a whole lot easier as it gave me a place to start and if I had questions I could ask this forum and be given answers from people with first hand experience. It has been invaluable to me and even DH took to reading it while we were away (and a few times since we came back). Thankyou everyone for your stories be they good or bad.

    AFM I had my first scan yesterday, the obstetrician said that the scan and test results are indicating a pregnancy at 5 weeks and everything is as it should be. Going by the info from CFC I should be 6 weeks but I am happy that the Dr says all is well and 5 weeks. He wants to scan me every week so next week I can look forward to hopefully seeing the heartbeat. Although I am in the danger stage I draw confidence from the fact that I do not recall anyone mentioning on this forum that they have lost their little jellybean in the first 12 weeks, that any issues have been more to do with early deliveries. Thankyou again everyone.

  14. #410
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    BB4ME - congrats again and thanks for sharing all that info.

    I was going to ask the same question re the Predisone and Predisolone... not sure what the difference might be. I just asked Dr Google and this is what he said...
    http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-...#didyouknowout

    The drugs we take seem to effect everybody differently. I have heard people say how much they hated the Syneral nasal spray and the bad headaches it gave them, but it never effected me this way. I think the most evil drug of them all is the Projesterone, as it throws EXACTLY the same symptoms as pregnancy does - which is extremely cruel to all of us in the 2WW.

    Sunny15... come here, I need some of your patience and wonderful outlook to rub off on me. I think your attitude towards all of this is wonderful and I would love to think that I can take a leaf out of your book when my turn comes to go to CT next month.

    AFM - getting horrible headaches from the BCP! The end of July can't come soon enough.


 

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