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  1. #1
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    Default i need support...

    please help. im not getting much support atm.
    ds is almost 4mths and still feeds 2hourly in the day and is waking 3hourly or less overnight to feed. i am so tired.
    he's gaining 300grams a week. poo's 2-3 times a day, wet nappy every 2hrs.
    he wont nap longer then 20mins and keeps waking every 5 mins when we put him to bed for the night untill 10pm then is awake 2-3hrs later. we are seeing a sleep consultant atm.
    Everyone is telling me to try formula....formula.....the answer to everything is formula. and that my milk is oviously not satisfying him.
    for me, it's not the answer. i swore to myself we were doing just great and we can do this. i really want to keep breastfeeding but everyone around me tells me enough is enough.
    what am i doing wrong?. how do i get thru this?. im so tired.

  2. #2
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    It's perfectly normal. For one thing, breastfed babies generally feed more frequently than formula fed babies because breastmilk is easier to digest. Secondly, 4 months is a growth spurt time and also the time babies move out of infancy and into babyhood. It's a huge brain growth time when they start to become more aware of their surroundings and it can make them unsettled and disrupt their sleep.

    Hang in there. I can completely sympathise. DS2 did the exact same thing at 4 months and he only just started sleeping better a week or so ago (he's 9 months and still breastfed). We were getting 20 minute naps twice a day, and he was waking every 60-90 minutes overnight.

    Sleep deprivation is a hideous thing and it can really screw over your mindset. Try and seek out support from friends and family, try and sleep whenever you can and try and remember, it does pass. I promise.

    It might be helpful to call the ABA as well or, if you have a great MCHN, call them and see if you can get in for a visit just to vent.

    GBH, I know how hard it is. At one point I was getting by on 3 hours of broken sleep and I just wanted to run away. Take it one day at a time.

    And trust me, I speak from experience with DS1 and from other friends, formula is not a cure all. It doesn't make babies sleep through and in fact it can make things worse while they try and get used to it. Your breastmilk is perfect and exactly what your baby needs.

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    Bubbles10  (20-04-2013),Little Miss Muffet  (20-04-2013)

  4. #3
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    Have you considered trying solids? I know there are different schools of thought on this but my DS2 is the same age as yours and adding some pumpkin and a bit of baby porridge to his diet has made a lot of difference for him. Also you are not doing anything wrong. If you wish to keep breast feeding your baby do it. If he's putting on 300 grams a week I'd say you are very much satisfying his needs.

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    Oh please don't listen to them!! Breast milk is absolutely the best thing you can do for your bub.

    He is clearly thriving so a big congratulations is needed!!

    I know it's hard my DD is exclusively bf and she feeds very frequently also. Sometimes during the night she will also feed 2hrly.

    Formula is not going to guarantee he sleeps.

    When DD2 was a young baby I tried to supplement with formula in the hope of getting her to sleep more. It didn't work and she ended up weaning early from me at 11 months whereas my first born bf until 2! I was not in a good frame of mind with DD2 and I think this is why I resorted to formula which I absolutely regret to this day.

    I know it can be tough but things will improve. I would hate for you to give it up only to regret it later, especially if it does not improve your DS sleep.

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    Oh yes I agree that 300gms a week is huge and your milk must be like mine- liquid gold!!

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  8. #6
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    Your milk isn't satisfying him? What rubbish!
    His behavior sounds perfectly normal. Frustrating, draining, and hopefully something you can get help with for your own sanity... But perfectly normal.

    As for formula? We introduced 1 feed a day of formula at 3 months (long story, but essentially to make feeding less stressful for me) and it made no difference whatsoever to our daughter's sleep. At one point she was having almost 500ml of formula per day. Now (at almost 7 months) she has about 150-200ml, plus 2 "meals" of solids, and 4 or 5 breast feeds (plus the occasional drink/snack of breast milk), and NONE of it has had any obvious link with changes in sleep.

    If you want to continue breast feeding, please try to ignore what those people are telling you. you're doing a fantastic job!

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    Your baby sounds COMPLETELY normal!

    Yes it's tiring and exhausting but your breastmilk is doing him WONDERS

    People suggested I try formula and solids too but the fact of the matter is my DS was getting all he needed from me and no amount of 'extra' in formula or solids would have changed him waking up.

    Don't let anyone tell u that your breastmilk isn't enough or satisfying enough for your baby.

    Your bub has wet nappies, poos and is putting in weight. You're doing a great job.

    My DS fed roughly the same as what you have described.

  10. #8
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    you just described my ds and dd. completely normal. some babies sleep 6-7 hours straight and some just don't.

  11. #9
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    thankyou. this has all helped me. i will continue what im doing.
    my sleep consulant wants me to try stretch hiss feeds out to 3-3.5hrs in the day. ive tried and it doesnt feel right. maybe it wil take some adjusting time. it doesnt feel right because im going by the clock not my baby.
    She suggested cutting out the little 'top up" feed before his naps that i give him. she said feeding 2hourly - he is mainly 'snacking' all day.
    now im totally confused. i thought with breastfeeding u flop em out when ever ur bub wants it? not so much feeding because its been 3 hours. then not feeding again for another 3hrs. what if he really liked that comfort feed before his naps?
    help?

  12. #10
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    The one thing I've learned being a parent is to trust your gut instinct. Especially with breast feeding. I did the same thing with DS2 at 6 months - started trying to stretch out his feeds, reducing the number of feeds etc. In the end we ended up with a bit of a supply problem (since rectified), a miserable mummy and a miserable baby. As it turns out he dropped feeds on his own. I still give him a feed before both naps and before bed at night. He loves it, I'm happy to do it and it works for us. Trust your instinct. Have a read about the hormones released during breastfeeding. It's no accident they make mum and baby sleepy.

    But if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. It's so hard to trust yourself when it feels like its all going to sh1t. What you're describing is normal baby behaviour. Society as this unnatural obsession with babies sleeping through. It's normal for babies to wake during the night. As an adult, I still wake naturally during the night, have a drink then go back to sleep!

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