View Poll Results: Do you feel at all 'better' than those who have different fathers for their children?

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  • Yes, totally

    9 14.06%
  • A little

    10 15.63%
  • No, not at all

    45 70.31%
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  1. #61
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    I don't feel better than others but For me personally i am pleased about my situation as opposed to the alternative, primarily due to the structures that are most important to me (immediate family, DHs family, extended family, close friends etc) sharing similar experiences.

    These people who are most important to me are all in marriages for life and have children only from within that marriage/relationship. I don't think they would judge me (or anyone) if I had children from multiple partners, but I feel happy that I am able to emulate those structures that I admire.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MeetTheBluths View Post
    But how many people do you know like this? Seriously, where do you live? I don't know of anybody like this and although I'm sure it happens but I think it's a very smsll minority of situations. I think life's more complicated than that specific scenario also... It's so far-fetched.
    well its not a small minority actually. it happens a lot.

  3. #63
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    No, that's not how I judge the character of others. Despite only having one DD, I wouldn't make any assumptions about a woman I meet with children from different fathers. The one thing it does reconfirm in my belief system is that you can't take anything for granted and nothing is guaranteed.

    It's not as simple as to say that how a relationship turns out is simply to do with the mother's "choices". People cheat, people grow apart, people die, people suffer mental health or substance abuse issues, people change, people fall pregnant accidentally.

    You shouldn't judge someone before walking a mile in their shoes. Some people do have unfortunate patterns of behaviour but to most mothers are trying their best. I truely believe that.

  4. #64
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    No, I don't feel better than people whose kids have different fathers.

    I think it would be a difficult position to be in, and not one most would choose.

    I think most of us do our best in life, and for our children, and sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes we're unlucky, and sometimes circumstances just change.

    Sure, there are people who make lifestyle choices that I would not personally make, but that goes for all kinds of things and would be something I'd judge on an individual basis.

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  6. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by MMelissa View Post

    It's not as simple as to say that how a relationship turns out is simply to do with the mother's "choices". People cheat, people grow apart, people die, people suffer mental health or substance abuse issues, people change, people fall pregnant accidentally.
    I don't think we are talking about those women, in fact several of us have said we totally get people change and we aren't referring to them. We are talking about people (yes both sexes) that have kids to relationships that are clearly already toxic or aren't coping with the kids/finances they have.

  7. #66
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    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    I will be the girl who gets looked down upon by some when and if I have a second child because my children will have different fathers. I made a really dumb choice and fell pregnant from it, and I won't look down upon women who make this mistake but there is a girl I know and went to high school with who has two young children to two different men and I feel a bad but I did judge her when I found out because she made the same mistake twice and I judged out of my own experience with this silly choice, yet she is a good mother so I put my initial judgement away.

    This doesn't really answer the OP but it's kind of related >__>


    Sent from my talky stick

  8. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by αληθη View Post
    I will be the girl who gets looked down upon by some when and if I have a second child
    That was me And then everybody had to eat their words or thoughts (for the people who didn't voice them) because DH and I are very happy. We have 2 more beautiful girls together, I've finished Uni, and we bought a house which we've been renovating.

    It's very sad that were stereotyped for this but just because our children have different fathers does not mean we are not equal. We are just like any other family.

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  10. #68
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    I know rather closely at least 4 people 2 males 2 females who have multiple kids to multiple people and none of them are in relationships with any of the people. its not uncommon and its not far fetched in the slightest, it happens and it happens a lot. People that are serial breeders. One guy never uses condoms and he never asks the girls about contraceptive he has 4 kids to 4 mums and he doesnt see any of them. One girl has 5 kids between 4 fathers she sleeps with guys and doesnt make them use condoms and she isnt on the pill. She just 3 days ago had a baby to a very close friend of mine.

    These people are out there and do you know what yes I do judge them. And yse I feel my situation is better than theirs. Shoot me

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  12. #69
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    I don't think I'm better than someone who has different fathers for their children, I have a sister who is classed as 'half sister' but I don't think of it like that, and people sometimes think my children don't have the same dad as they have a big age gap. I do look at some people I know who have children with multiple fathers and think what the hell are you doing, but that is more about their ability to make really bad choices again and again (not just related to men!), but then I also know some people with children to multiple fathers who are amazing.

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    I do think the perception of a woman with children to different fathers is very different to that of a father to different mothers, which lets be honest, is more likely. Biology makes it so!


 

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