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  1. #21
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    Hi Lilmiss I am in a similar boAt to you. My husband and I have always wanted 3 kids with about 2 yr age gaP. I am currently pregnant with # 2 and my mum is always commenting on how hard it's going to be and being negative.

    Also if I make a comment abouta 3rd she says things like "let's see how
    You go with 2 before you commit' or 'your just making babis for the sake of it'

    Makes me so mad she feels she has a say in any capacity on my family. Admittedly I struggled with pretty bad morning sickness my first 16 weeks so maybe she is co concerned.. DH and I are pretty sure we want a small gap between this one and the next one and I do worry about her reaction but you know what??? What can she do about it???

    In the end she will come around as I know your family will...

  2. #22
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    I only have 2 kids but i remember my mum showing a lot of concern when I was pregnant with my second as I had previously suffered bad PND.

  3. #23
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    OP, I understand the judgement for having a large family. We have 4 kids and I was pregnant with number 5 (had a missed miscarriage last week).
    When we told my dad, his response was a negative "you're kidding me". My mum's response was "I thought you'd know by now what causes it and know how to prevent it". Neither of my parents were upset/sad that I miscarried.
    On the flip side, my in-laws were overjoyed that we were expecting again, and were just as devastated as we were at the miscarriage.
    If we choose to try again, I will not be telling either of my parents. The negativity that I got from them affected part of my pregnancy and I'm sad that I didn't enjoy my whole pregnancy.

  4. #24
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    Personally I think you have a lot of issues you need to deal with before you even think about adding another innocent child to your family.
    You have plenty of time to have more children in the future if you wish, once you have sorted yourself out.
    [text deleted by moderator]
    Last edited by Mod-pegasus; 18-04-2013 at 12:04.

  5. #25
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    babalooba is offline Being a brother is better than being a superhero
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    I hate coming on here and reading threads where someone posts looking for support and half of the responses are terribly judgemental. Judgement is what she was worried about in the first place! Honestly, if you don't have anything supportive to say don't bother posting because I get sick of reading it!

    Krissi, I fully understand the way you feel. I am a fellow August 2012 mum and I am 11 weeks pregnant with number 4, my third in 3 years I haven't told anyone but my husband yet because I so worried about how people are going to react. I'm already getting dumb comments are getting pregnant yet and they don't even know lol

  6. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to babalooba For This Useful Post:

    Mulva  (18-04-2013),ozeymumof5  (18-04-2013),Purple Lily  (18-04-2013),VanityFey  (18-04-2013)

  7. #26
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    Sadly I have nothing to do with my family because 'we have too many kids!!" My SIL made it very clear to me that I'm selfish and I have made life too expensive for the family!
    ETA: we never ask for help, we never ask for baby sitting, we both work and are able to provide for all our kids....I'm "selfish" because xmas, b'days, easter are now too expensive for family
    Last edited by ozeymumof5; 18-04-2013 at 18:54.

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by babalooba View Post
    I hate coming on here and reading threads where someone posts looking for support and half of the responses are terribly judgemental. Judgement is what she was worried about in the first place! Honestly, if you don't have anything supportive to say don't bother posting because I get sick of reading it!
    I think everyone's been very supportive in their replies. You may be confusing 'support' with 'blindly telling the op what they want to hear'.

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    Caitysmum  (18-04-2013),Mathermy  (18-04-2013),mum2twinboys  (18-04-2013),SassyMummy  (18-04-2013),Stiflers Mom  (18-04-2013)

  10. #28
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    Reading your posts from june last year I can see why there may be concern. Please make sure you are sure you can handle another child big long hard discussions. If you do come I the conclusion you are dead sure your ready ten it shouldn't matter what anyone says. I know that 2 is well and truest enough for me so I haven't dealt with the "judgement" of having a large family but regardless good luck with it all

  11. #29
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    In my experience people will judge you for having a large family.

    When you do have a large family and your having a bad day as all families do. People assume it is because of the large family and that you have more kids than you can handle.

    I can tell you the love and joy you get from having a large family outweigh the negative nellies you met along the way.

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  13. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by babalooba View Post
    I hate coming on here and reading threads where someone posts looking for support and half of the responses are terribly judgemental. Judgement is what she was worried about in the first place! Honestly, if you don't have anything supportive to say don't bother posting because I get sick of reading it!
    I don't think anyone is being judgmental but trying to get to the bottom of why her family are less than supportive - questions which the OP doesn't want to answer.

    We are all concerned I guess about reading posts by the OP in a year's time similar to what the OP posted only a year ago.


 

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