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  1. #31
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    I hope no one jumps down my throat for suggesting this but have you thought about being a bit tougher on your youngest in regards to sleep?
    My youngest was exactly like yours and I was not coping. I booked into a sleep class for him and it was held at the hospital and I literally could not get a park!!! I drove home in tears and my mum said forget it you just need to let him cry stop giving in. I was at my wits end so I took her advice. I watched the clock every time I put him in his cot determined not to go in for a least x amount of minutes depending on how long it had been going on for and I only picked him up if he was very distressed but would usually just go back in pat him put his dummy in and say its night night time and leave him again. It took three days and he was in a routine it was like a miracle!!! The key is you have to stick to it but and it breaks your heart hearing them cry out but in the end I felt like it was just as good for him as it was for me because he needed his quality sleep. I know this is not for everyone but.

  2. #32
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    if we go out with toys, almost everytime we dont come home with them.
    if she took a baby stroller, id end up with it as she looses interest very quickly.
    those mimi trolleys - she fills up with random things then throws them out on the floor when she doesnt want them in the trolley anymore.
    she isnt affraid to walk off on me. she wont follow me.
    she wouldnt be able to drive one of those car things. shed get frustrated and scream at me.
    she screams in the baby carrier like im murdering her. plus shes too big for me in it. im 45 odd kgs at 160cms...she's 10kgs but feel like 20kgs in the carrier.

    sorry im so negative. you have all been very supportive.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whoknows View Post
    I hope no one jumps down my throat for suggesting this but have you thought about being a bit tougher on your youngest in regards to sleep?
    My youngest was exactly like yours and I was not coping. I booked into a sleep class for him and it was held at the hospital and I literally could not get a park!!! I drove home in tears and my mum said forget it you just need to let him cry stop giving in. I was at my wits end so I took her advice. I watched the clock every time I put him in his cot determined not to go in for a least x amount of minutes depending on how long it had been going on for and I only picked him up if he was very distressed but would usually just go back in pat him put his dummy in and say its night night time and leave him again. It took three days and he was in a routine it was like a miracle!!! The key is you have to stick to it but and it breaks your heart hearing them cry out but in the end I felt like it was just as good for him as it was for me because he needed his quality sleep. I know this is not for everyone but.

    im in the process of sleep training with a professional atm. like i had to go thru with dd.
    ive tried crying it out, he's too young for that imo.

  4. #34
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    Oh hugs... Where are you honey? I would live to help you if I can!

  5. #35
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    I had a terrible year when DS1 was born. DD2 was 23 months, a terrible (beyond terrible actually) sleeper, she has severe separation anxiety which went through the roof when my son arrived, she was always tired and falling over from being tired. I think she cried most days in the first year of my son's life, and I often joined her.

    What saved me looking back is that because I had a child in preprimary I had to get out of the house twice a day for school runs. I had no choice. And once we were out we stayed out. We had just moved to WA, I didn't know a soul but we went to parks, the library for story time or just walked to the park or walked on the beach. Some days were awful, some days were ok.

    I'm a big believer in "fake it til you make it". And I just can't stay home all the time. Even just going for a short bus ride - I just had to get out of the house.

    I am not a fan of shopping centres with little kids - I know there are often times it's unavoidable but I rarely have a good time when I take the kids to the shops. I don't know - something about the lighting and the feeling of other people all squashed in together doesn't agree with my kids so we just try and avoid it.

    Can you go over to someone's house for a visit - just to get out? Do you have another adult (like your mum or a friend) who can help you with the kids when you do go out?

    Being home with small children day in day out is incredibly isolating. Sometimes getting out seems impossible and often when you make the effort it backfires, but for me if 2 trips out of 5 go well - then I'm happy with that.

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  7. #36
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    thankyou. no, no help. my mum will visit a couple times a month and stay a few nights and help out with dd. its great when shes here. they and most our family live 3hrs away. i have a couple friends. one who works 3/5 days, sees her mothers group the other day and wants time with her daughter the next day. i dont want to bother her. My other friend is very unreliable. often says she will pop in and never does. never contactable.
    most of you are right, its very isolating being stuck at home with young kids. its easy to become down about life.
    i will work on getting out more. dd is just impossible when we are out. i know she needs to keep doing her playgroup, library ect but its so hard to actually get there at 9am!
    i want to seriously talk to dh about childcare one day a week 9-3 or something. he wont have a bar of it tho.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Muffet View Post
    i want to seriously talk to dh about childcare one day a week 9-3 or something. he wont have a bar of it tho.
    That's not fair. It annoys me when one person in a relationship won't agree to something like that which means the other person carries the burden of that decision.

    I never got any help - we moved interstate when I was pregnant and had no one. The more often you go out the easier it gets. You work out what your kids can manage (and you too), what are good times of the day to go out etc.

    I hope things improve. I'll be completely honest here that year I had really damaged my relationship with DD2. I often went to bed at night and worried that I was damaging her because I felt like she was so difficult at times it was hard to like her - and I'm her mum - she loves me more than anyone.

    She's 4 now and still has her moments, but things have drastically improved. You will get there

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  10. #38
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    Hi

    What your going through is normal especially with having 2 young children. I went through those feelings too when my son was little and at one stage thought to myself why did I even want a baby??? Then things got easier then they went backwards. My son started off as a goid sleeper then changed his habits and I'd be screaming at him to shut up and go to bed in a huff saying I didn't care. Then 2 mins later I'd feel guilty and go back to him. He also cut out daytime sleeps at 6wks. It took 2 months for him to start having naps again. Fast forward to 15mths. I was getting sick of being home and thought I gotta go back to work...wad so scared I'd miss out on his first word or first step but I didnt. I work 2 days a week and now cutting to 3 days a fortnight. Feeling extremely guilty now for leaving him. A nurse at work told me they are only so little for a short period of time and thats it. You can work anytime! Don't think going back to work will solve your problems. Yes u get a 'break' but the kids and their demands will still be there when you get home in top of housework/cooking. You definitely need some alone time. Coukd you leave kids with husband at night once a week and do shopping then?

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  12. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Muffet View Post
    i want to seriously talk to dh about childcare one day a week 9-3 or something. he wont have a bar of it tho.
    This is not good enough. The modern day "village" is often childcare. It is unreasonable of your DH to be adamant about this when he is not the one carrying the burden.

    My suggestion is to find out why he is so against it. Is it the cost? How does he know how much it will cost (as in out of pocket cost). Is it because someone outside the family will be caring for his child? Just because someone is family doesn't mean they will be any good at looking after your child. Quality childcare will allow your child to experience a range of things that a mother with a new, challenging baby would not experience. I'm talking about things like craft, painting, drawing, dancing, singing, outdoor play, playdough, messy play, etc.

    When I had DD my DS went to childcare 2 days a week. It meant I could do nothing but focus on her and have a relatively calm day. I was a better mother to DS for having him go to childcare.

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  14. #40
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    Does your husband know that you're not coping? It really helps kids language skills develop. DS is 22 months old and every time he gets back from daycare he tries so hard to talk.
    Could you maybe tell your DH that it's to help your bubba learn?
    Does your hubby not like daycare because it's an extra expense?

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