Sorry. DS took my mobile
Sorry. DS took my mobile
Great tips from other posters.
It must seem so uphill all the time right now.
I do agree with other posters and suggest you get in to see your GP. It does sound like you may have PND and I think you may deep down realise that. Even if it is just that you need someone to vent to about it all, see your GP.
You need to get done coping strategies in place.
My DS is a runner and I found it hard to get out with him and my DS2. It got better as they grew up. He still runs, but I strap him in the pram if I have to. Try to find a fenced in playground. Wear him out in the morning.
Join a gym with a crèche? Get some fitness in and then have a shower after, in peace. Even better if it has a pool, sauna and spa. Stuff the fitness. Have a relax while the crèche people look after your kids for an hour.
OP, I really think you need to see a dr as what you are describing sounds just like PND. If you get treatment then your whole outlook on things will be so much improved and you'll feel that you can cope so much better.
I too have a toddler who isn't talking and has been referred to a professional. It's so frustrating that we have to go through this and at times I've felt really down about it but I've found that since getting treatment for my PND I'm not so worried or anxious about it.
For now you need some strategies to get you through until you can see a dr.
- look into daycare costs and centrelink benefits/rebates for it. We are on one fairly low income and when I last checked it was going to be about $8 a day out of pocket for each child.
- stock up on nutritious snackfoods that you can grab when busy. Fruit, nuts, carrot or celery sticks with dip, crackers, cheese, cup-a-soup etc.
- find somewhere that has a creche (eg: a pool/gym) and use it to give you some time to yourself to recharge.
- get the child leash so the worry of them running off is one less thing you have to deal with.
- is there a playgroup you can join where your older child can burn off some energy safely and you can get out of the house and talk to other mums? I found the more time I spent at home the more I dwelt on it all and the harder it was to "snap out of it".
- When your DH gets home at night try and have (at least) 10mins of "you time".
It is tough when we go through times like this but please see your GP about the possibility of PND. Your little ones sleeping will improve with time, as will your older ones speech. In the meantime, know that you are doing a wonderful job as a mum.
I have two kids the same age as yours, it is tough!
I agree it sounds like you might have PND. I'm on ADs and they make a huge difference, so please see your GP. I had PND untreated for 8 months with DS and it was just an awful time so please, please ask for help.
As for getting dressed in the morning, can you put your bub in a bouncer in the bathroom while you have a quick 2 minute shower? Could you get your clothes sorted the night before? Even if bub cracks it for a couple of minutes it won't matter. I know me having a shower and getting dressed is very high on the priority list in the morning, then I feel a million times better and we can leave the house.
I've found maccas is a great place to go with two kids as your older one cannot run off, it's easy to supervise while you can BF or cuddle the baby. Just avoid after school time as there are lots of older kids.
Agree about foods you can eat one handed.
Perhaps look into some sleep strategies for your baby when you have some energy to deal with it.
When I changed my mindset to realise I can only do the best I can do and sometimes that's not going to be perfect, it took so much pressure off. If I have two kids crying and can only tend to one it sucks but I'm only one person and can only do my best. Go easy on yourself and recognise you're doing an awesome job. Looking after two kids is tough! You would never be able to hire someone for a job with these working conditions.
Little Miss Muffet, . So sorry you are feeling like this. It's good that you vent it out too. Parenting is a joy but it definitely can be very overwhelming at times.
I think all the other ladies have given you wonderful advice so I won't add to it, I just wanted to say you are not alone - as I'm sure you've come to realise by all the wonderful responses on here. I most definitely struggled with my two when my youngest was 3 months and it sounds like you have very little support (meaning babysitter wise) which is tough, daycare would really help in your situation, I think you deserve it and your toddler will only benefit. hugs hugs
i was in a more positive mood this morning as ds slept a whole 1.5hrs without waking up. I was able to get myself organised and dd ready to go out for a little while. Just to the supermarket to get milk ect...
I brought a leash.....
she hated it. she screamed and threw herself on the ground. i was humiliated. i felt so stupid holding onto her like a dog. i was getting all these looks off people.
So we lasted 5 mins on our outing. it was so stressful. im destined to be stuck in the house all day. we have stopped all of dd's activities atm because im too tired and i cant get out of the house by a certain time. it sucks.
Ds just had a 20min nap. we are back to square one.
i hate this.
I could have written your post some time ago only the age gap is a bit bigger with my children. My DS has a severe speech delay and has a lot of speech therapy. My DD didn't sleep for longer than 20 mins during the day and woke up immediately I put her in a cot or bassinette. She insisted on being held all the time, she didn't do play gyms, swings or any of that nonsense. It was either in my arms or a sling and mostly you had to actually be walking or moving. She also fed regularly during the night, often hourly for long feeds. I can tell you I went a bit nuts there for a while. I was a mod here at the time and I just couldn't cope with everything so felt I had to resign to take some pressure off.
PM me if you want to know any more details about speech therapy or getting a public funded speech therapist.
Little Miss Muffet (18-04-2013)
have you tried giving dd a toy pram with a doll inside to push when you go to the shops so she can be occupied? or getting her to push one of those little supermarket trolleys? or maybe go to an indoor playcentre so she plays there and u can have a coffee by yourself? believe me, it does get better, i put my kids in the trolley to sit with toys sometimes, or if at a westfield, put bub in a carrier and the kids in one of those kiddy hire cars, they love it.
i just wacthed a video of one of my friends' kids on facebook who's about 2mths younger than my dd - she was going up and down a little plastic slide counting to 20......
My dd cant climb a step and she cant talk!
feel like crap.
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