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  1. #21
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    I think its wrong to baptise your child if BOTH parents are not on the same practicing page.

    These things need to be sorted out before you set up house and have kids IMO.

    If Dh was not a practicing catholic I would have moved on quickly.

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  3. #22
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    Surely this is on the list of things to discuss before marriage and kids?

    She should tell him he needs to demonstrate he's serious about his faith if he expects her to take him seriously about it.

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I disagree that just because one is athiest the default should be that the child is Baptised. As an athiest, I hate that certain members of the family are trying to indoctrinate my own son and I could just imagine that if I agreed to have him baptised because it "means nothing to me" it would be an extremely slippery slope into allowing them to have even more power over his beliefs than they already have.

    I strongly believe that it is up to my DS, and DS alone, that he chooses his own religion. I don't trust that many people would have their child baptised and leave it at that.
    Agreed. And below is DH's argument (and this is exactly in his words) about why he, as an atheist, resents the fact that he was baptised as a child:

    I believe that teaching children to not be critical, and that they should believe in an imaginary friend, is actually wrong. I have a fundamental objection to organised religion, and therefore being baptised was me essentially being inducted into such an organisation. My issue is that I don't want anything to do with organised religion, and I wish that I could go back and not have been exposed to it. There is now a record of me being inducted into that church, and I am now nominally a member of it. In the future, when my descendants look at records, they may see me as a member of the Catholic church - an organisation which I believe to be detrimental to society.

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  7. #24
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    See I was baptised as a baby and it doesn't really bother me. I'm very strongly atheist and just see it as a silly ritual that my mother thought was important. I won't be baptising my kids but it hasn't harmed me in any way.

  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post

    If Dh was not a practicing catholic I would have moved on quickly.
    There are lots of people who would not have.

  9. #26
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    I'm not just "meh, I don't believe," about religion, I am actively AGAINST indoctrinating small children, especially my own (I don't agree with other people doing it either, but I don't actually care that much... not my kids, not my choice, not my business).

    So it wouldn't be a case of just taking one for the team... it would be actively going against my beliefs. Yes, as an atheist, I can have beliefs... they're just not based in religion.

    It's not simply a matter of not believing in it - it's a matter of being actively against it.

    You can't really compromise in this anyway... other than to say, "Well, they can be baptised... when they're an adult and have chosen to be themselves." Which, really, wouldn't be a compromise but a win for me as that's how I want things to be for my child anyway.

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  11. #27
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    I'm with Sassy on this one. My atheism is not just a lack of belief, but an active belief in how the world works, and one that I feel is part of my duty as a parent to pass onto my children.
    For my children to be baptised as minors would be anathema to my beliefs.
    Last edited by bugsy; 17-04-2013 at 19:06. Reason: Clarifying

  12. #28
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    I can never understand why couples don't discuss this sort of thing before they enter into a serious relationship/marriage/have children. If I were married to an athiest I am sure I would know about it, just as if I were married to someone who felt strongly about Baptism I would know about it.

    I can't imagine that suddenly oneday it would 'come up' and either of us not knowing where the other stood on the subject.

    It just never ceases to amaze me the things people don't discuss and this subject is one of them.

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  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    There are lots of people who would not have.
    I don't understand?

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I don't understand?
    Sorry I just meant that in your situation where you said if your DH wasn't catholic that you would have moved on (I've been collecting my thoughts on this over eating tea), I just think there are lots of people who fall in love regardless of religion and that this is not something that would cause them to move on. I think that there are many couples who do not have overly strong feelings either way regarding religion or atheism and they don't necessarily discuss these things before hand or even really think about them, sometimes it's not until a child is born that you begin to feel one way or the other. People can change their minds over time about these issues.

    Being Catholic myself but not practising (I don't attend mass) I find this a very conflicting issue, I understand entirely the wanting to baptise simply due to family tradition more than any connection to a god or religion. The issue is not as black and white as some may think it is. Religion is more than what someone believes in, it's part of their belonging in their family and community.


 

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