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  1. #11
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    If he's 3, I would start trying to casually ask him how he feels when at Dad's place, what do they do together etc

    If the grandmother and Aunty are awful to him, that's not a nice environment. I just hope the Dad gives him the love and security while he's in his care.

    I agree with PP though, I wouldn't be happy with unsupervised visits until my son was comfortable. Especially no overnight visits at the moment either.

    It's tough OP as your son deserves a relationship with his Dad. But if its not providing him with a safe or happy experience, then it should be changes or stopped.

  2. #12
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    Well I asked him about his time that yesterday and he said he had fun, they went to the park and he rode the bike. I said do you like going to daddy's he said yes when we go to the park. So I have gathered that he just wants daddy's attention so I'll be having a chat to ex next time DS goes there to tell him he needs to make sure he pays attention to DS

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    Ellewood  (15-04-2013)

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarz2009 View Post
    Well I asked him about his time that yesterday and he said he had fun, they went to the park and he rode the bike. I said do you like going to daddy's he said yes when we go to the park. So I have gathered that he just wants daddy's attention so I'll be having a chat to ex next time DS goes there to tell him he needs to make sure he pays attention to DS
    That sounds like he enjoys seeing his Dad, but not going to his house.

    This could be lack of attention, or it could be how uncomfortable and unwelcome he feels in that house.

    Could you suggest the next few visits are either at your place, or in a neutral environment to see if there's a change?

  5. #14
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    I've had it! DS went to his fathers today - I asked him did he want to go and he said yes and seemed excited about it. As I put him to bed tonight j said did you have fun at daddy's? He looked sad and said yeah, but they went mad at me I said who did? He replied 'nanny and (daddy's gf) they said I wasn't a good boy' I asked why and he said I dunno I was playing with my cars inside and I didn't want to go outside' I asked where his daddy was when this happened and he said daddy was outside having a coffee. I was trying to show that I wasn't furious when he reached up and cuddled me saying I wanted to come home mummy

    I can't wait for mediation on Wednesday this complete BS is ending right now. It broke my heart hearing my baby boy sound so sad. He is never going near them awful ppl again

  6. #15
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    I wouldn't send him there either. It seems like your ex can be a good dad when he actually bothers to spend time with his son, but sending him to a house where he is treated badly by other people who live there...I can understand why he likes it better when they go to the park.

    I think you are right not to send him back. Maybe when you go to mediation you can organise something where he spends time with DS away from his house and the horrible people who live there.

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  8. #16
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    Ex has never really been interested in his kids - he has one to a previous relationship and I saw then that he would sit his son down in front of the tv and go work on his cars or something. I feel so terrible I put DS in the same situation, I guess I thought hed changed since he was going thru so much to go to mediation. I feel like such a bad parent right now :'(

  9. #17
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    You're not a bad parent. You have done the right thing by trying to allow your DS to have a relationship with his father. It's not your fault if his dad didn't make the effort and it's not your fault that your ex's family are horrible people.

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    sarz2009  (19-04-2013)

  11. #18
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    How old is your DS, you may have answered and I missed it, sorry.
    My son used to scream and had to be forced to get out of the car, it was hard but I truly believed he needed a relationship with his dad. After a few times it passed. He now happily goes, will tell me he wants to see dad if we drive anywhere near where his dad lives.
    And on the car note, my ex works on cars a lot. DS used to watch him, but now at six he likes to pass the tools etc. I hated it but had to accept that I cannot control what happens when he is there.


 

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