Don't let the fear of what he COULD do stop you getting the help you need.
Edit to add: YOU are not destroying his career. He knows the conseqyences for these things.
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Last edited by Jennaisme; 14-04-2013 at 00:09.
You ladies have made me wonder tonight, what if I'm not as special as he told me? That I am not actually the only one he does this to? Though he swears I am.. I am normally, pre this "mental breakdown" a strong person.. I guess that stopped me from letting it get too out of control just yet, though I know I am still in deep. At times I wanted to run away from my family, friends & run to him because he could take away my blackness & that's all I wanted in the moment. I never did, I could have, but I had a tiny bit of strength and logic saving me. What if there are other young, struggling woman out there that are worse, don't have strength left...
he would have happily, although he always said otherwise, watched my marriage further crumble... & he wanted to save me in that scenario too. God. This is so bloody messy, what a dangerous web I have spun!
Ladies, I cannot thank you enough for your input tonight. I can't believe how helpful, caring & responsive complete strangers can be....
can you explain grooming? I had never heard this before & it is making me feel sick because although I'm not sure of the definitive meaning, I can only assume...
I don't see my psych for 3 weeks! I was actually only there yesterday... She is aware of the situation - kind of - but obviously I couldn't tell her it was my doctor that she communicates with so much because for one, she would have to report him, & I wasn't ready.
I have emailed her (we email occasionally if I'm really strugglingd) some parts of this thread tonight.. While I was feeling brave. We will see where that goes.
Thank you again..
I havent read this whole thread yet, but had to reply. I suffer from depression and anxiety, and although I am in a good place atm I havent always been and understand what an ongoing battle depression is.
First of all, I think you are a very strong person to be making an effort to stop communication and to have pulled away when he tried to kiss you.
I do beleive your doctor is abusing his position of trust, where you are so vulnerable and he is taking advantage of your need for support and reassurance. He is trusted by patients by his profession, age, and confidence and in my opinion is not doing the right thing by you - both morally and otherwise.
I think its important for you to stay strong, and look to your dh for support as even though he may not always understand, he loves you no matter what and supports you - just probaly doesnt always know how to show that.
I can tell you from experience that as hard and as impossible as it may seem to move on and get to a better place, it is possible and you will feel proud of how strong you are and what you have overcome once you get there.
I think this might be happening to you.
That resonates with me, & I'm feeling so scared.. Thank you for your insight. I somehow need to find the courage to untangle myself from this consuming web..
Its hard though.. He has been my lifeline for so long now, how do I change that perception? How do I learn to live without it when life without is so scary? I know I can only answer these questions for myself in time. Thank you.
hi I have just been reading your thread and I would like to pm you with my advice and how it affected me, I just don't feel comfortable explaining it on here, its up to you if you want to read it
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