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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirst33 View Post
    I agree it's an emotional affair. I think my DH would hit the roof if this was going on with me. You're emotionally dependent on him when you shouldn't be and that is really inappropriate for both your relationships. Does his wife know? What would she think? If the answer is that she would be hurt, or that your husband would be hurt if he knew the full extent of this relationship, then it is an inappropriate relationship for you to be in.

    I'm curious as to how long you've tried each anti-d and dosage. Of course I have had some not work but my GP rarely switched me onto new ones. I usually tried one at various doses for quite long periods of time. Are you on any right now?

    I actually think he's done more harm than good. This relationship I feel has probably increased your anxiety, whether you think talking to him helps or not. It's quite shocking that he wanted you to be dependent, how would that have helped you learn to not be anxious, if the thought of not talking to him makes you more anxious? I think you should give the Alfred a call, and be honest about all of this so that they can shed some professional light on it, you don't have to give his name if you don't want to 'turn' him in.
    Thanks for your reply.. As I've just replied to Vicpark, I really do not believe this to be an emotional affair. I have been suffering so badly, I wish I could describe how badly my life was affected, how waking every single day was horrible & unwanted & this all came from nowhere and through my life into blackness... & now, this doctor who has helped me through, has offered a friendship, a support to me that feels so much stronger than any I have received before because he is, first & foremost, a doctor. He is trained in helping people like me. I understand you saying "my husband would hit the roof"... But I have been quite open, I have been distressed, my husband has not been much support this past year & yet I have still be open & honest. I did not know he would try to kiss me, this all ballebed yesterday & that is why I am so confused now. I thought this could be a nice friendship. I don't believe I have led him on. I've told him I am sick. I need help! And he offered help. God this is just screwed up isn't it

  2. #52
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    Op my only suggestion is to stop contact and seek another GP.

    I started seeing a new dr at the beginning of this pregnancy just months after I moved to this new town. At first he seemed lovely and complimented me for many things, but as time went on and each appointment came about he got more and more personal with me. Started making strange comments about his lack of relationship with his wife, ignoring anything I said regarding my husband, etc etc even to the point that he unasked moved my top to check on a very small mole that I have on one breast (at the top so could just be seen, but he proceeded to see if there were more) he was a very attractive young confident man and at first the flirting was a compliment and then I just found it odd. I told my husband about everything that happened each appointment but after the boob bit I had had enough. My intentions weren't the same (hence the constant mention of my husband) as a result I had to choose to find a new dr to go through for my baby which ment have had to over an hour away and pay for private care to get.

    Moral to my story is that while it might be nice now I do suggest getting away from the situation develope the skills or get the right help needed to get well for yourself (not needing to be dependent) and I fear he may be using your struggle as a way for him self to get control of a situation etc.

    I have since thought about my situation and wondered how many other women has he been like that too.

    I think you realise yourself that its not a healthy professional not otherwise relationship and its possible more if a band aid for your current struggle then anything more.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hootenanny View Post

    Vic Park you need to be very careful with what you are saying, suggesting the op is responsible or enabling the behavior of a person who has a power imbalance over her is treading a very fine line.
    The OP has since clarified that she has not met with the doctor after the attempted kiss.

    If she did then (hypothetically speaking since it has not happened) considering she is an adult who is not totally incapacitated by her illness then I would say yeah she's at least part to blame. Sure the sleeze bag unethical doctor is 95% to blame but there has to be at least some blame reserved for a mostly functioning adult who would continue to meet with a married man after he attempted to kiss her.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hootenanny View Post
    Whilst I agree with the general premise that you deserve to be happy I strongly disagree that you are 'leading on' or 'enabling' him to be emotionally unfaithful to his wife. Please do not take this on as your fault, this man is in a position of power and you are vulnerable, please talk to a mental health professional.

    Vic Park you need to be very careful with what you are saying, suggesting the op is responsible or enabling the behavior of a person who has a power imbalance over her is treading a very fine line.
    hootenanny, thank you for your reply. I really appreciate it & you just gave me a little calm (though I do appreciate all advice given to me). Thank you for your understanding reply, I appreciate it very much.

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  6. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Honestly, the best place for you, and I say this with no malice, is the physiatric Ward where people are equipped to deal with mental health. I'm sorry but a regular GP is NOT. The doctors at the hospital can help you wean off of him and learn to be dependant on yourself and appropriate people. If your doctor, in a professional and alleged friend capacity has not recommended this while knowing your dependance on him then he is not your friend and a bloody horrid doctor. Please don't believe him when he says you're the first, its a manipulation technique. Its designed to make you feel special and cared for. Get professional help from people who know what theyre doing and won't knowingly and willingly make your mental health worse.

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub
    Your reply scares me a little. My biggest fear is a psych ward.. I have a supportive psychologist, psychiatrist, I have family.. Yet I had all of this before my friendship with my GP, & it just didn't help

  7. #56
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    Are you sure it's him making you feel better and not the meds working? Try not texting him for a day and see if you miss it. Turn your phone off so you can't see his. Or drop it in water to make sure you stick to it .

    I think your stronger than you think you are. I wouldn't report him unless you're in a really strong good place. These things can wait. Don't go adding more stress.

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  9. #57
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    I think requesting your medical records from the doctors clinic you attend and taking them to another gp would be a great start. Im pretty sure your doctor would not have been recording all his 'extra support' so that should speak volumes to you.

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  11. #58
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    Op I also want to say haven't read all replies. But my husband has been in a very similar situation to yourself in the means of your mental state. It's a hard battle and support is crucial. I can understand why you feel you don't want to give that up.

    I just think its not healthy for a trained, well respected dr to do what he is doing. You are at a very vulnerable stage and any actions that occur now may effect your life greatly for many years to come. I would hate to see your self go down a road of great regret. Right now I really believe you need to focus on you and you only without the influence of the dr. On a professional level yes (that's their job) but not on the personal level you have with him now. I don't think it's healthy and infancy I fear it could only be prolonging your issues.

    As I said I can understand your feelings having seen my husband go through a very rough few years of his life, it isn't easy but I don't think this situation is making things better long term, hugs

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  13. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    Your reply scares me a little. My biggest fear is a psych ward.. I have a supportive psychologist, psychiatrist, I have family.. Yet I had all of this before my friendship with my GP, & it just didn't help
    I'm sorry to have scared you. Phyciatric wards aren't as scary as they're portrayed in movies. The doctors there are trained to help people in your situation. I've been taken under police escort due to me self harming and totally melting down and thinking I can't cope. They helped me a lot and gave me a place that was safe to totally let go and tell someone everything on my mind. I knew I was safe and didnt need to keep it together in that place, that it was okay and that was what they're there for, to help me get through such a dark time where I preyed to just die in my sleep and cried because I woke up the next day. They help more thn I can ever put into words and I owe them my life.

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub

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  15. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Are you sure it's him making you feel better and not the meds working? Try not texting him for a day and see if you miss it. Turn your phone off so you can't see his. Or drop it in water to make sure you stick to it .

    I think your stronger than you think you are. I wouldn't report him unless you're in a really strong good place. These things can wait. Don't go adding more stress.

    Actually, & this is going to sound bad & I hadn't really thought about it until now, but when we started talking (about 3 weeks after beginning Efexor) he wanted me to trial coming of them because he thought he could make me better.. I came off them, & have questioned quite a few times to him that I possibly do need them, that I feel such strong anxiety still even though the depression has slightly lessoned.. He tells me I don't need meds, that I'm okay. I don't think he wants to acknowledge I'm unwell. I just take what his sais as gospel, he is VERY respected & runs his clinic.. I just read how bad that all sounds. My gosh, this is overwhelming!!


 

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