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OP, yes, the situation is that wrong. Your instincts are already telling you this and it is plain as day coming through in what you write.
What he is doing is entirely innappropriate. In my mind he is preying upon you because you present as an easy target to him, you are vulnerable and trust him to help you, which immediately gives him the "in" he feels he needs. It is also immediately obvious from what you have written that you are unwell, that you are struggling with issues and feeling that make you vulnerable, but perhaps you should consider the response of the posters here, and the other professionals you have sought previously as a good sign of what is right and normal behaviour. I personally dont feel that you are in a position to be held particularly accountable for emotional affairs etc, as you are mentally unwell and your judgement can be affected by this.
I dont know if this will help spurn you in to action, I certainly dont want to alarm you but I really think you need to think clearly now - other posters have made really good suggestions about how to get help from external sources and I think you need to follow them up ASAP. But consider this. If he gets some idea that he's not getting where he wants to with you (eg kissing, intimacy, development of a further emotional relationship) he may clam up quickly, knowing that he has become very vulnerable too as you are not behaving how he had hoped and expected - he may fear that he misjudged you and he will realise he is deep in the poo if you reported him. He may withdraw his support suddenly and you'll lose that support you currently are relying on. So for self preservation alone, I think you REALLY REALLY need to step away and start getting help from elsewhere ASAP. Its never ever healthy to rely so much on one person so completely for your happiness, he is NOT helping you to get better.
Consider reporting him only later when you are feeling stronger (or now if you feel you need the separation to be enforced somehow), because chances are he may cause the same confusion and unhealthy situation for another young, vulnerable woman in the future.
Sure you haven't slept with the doctor and you didn't let him kiss you. But you continue to meet with him after he has been inappropriate with you. That is leading him on. Enabling him to be emotionally unfaithful to his wife. Spending such a significant amount of time and emotional effort in engaging with the doctor... That is time you could be spend repairing your relationship with your hubby. It's not fair on your hubby. You are essentially putting yourself in the situation where you are the mistress in an emotional affair.
I am not saying this to be nasty. I hope that by acknowledging your responsibility in this situation... You can unlock the power within and use it to remove yourself from the situation.
You deserve to be happy and that will
Not happen (for the long term) while you have contact with the doctor.
Good luck I genuinely hope you can get better and be happy.
Last edited by VicPark; 13-04-2013 at 21:59.
I agree it's an emotional affair. I think my DH would hit the roof if this was going on with me. You're emotionally dependent on him when you shouldn't be and that is really inappropriate for both your relationships. Does his wife know? What would she think? If the answer is that she would be hurt, or that your husband would be hurt if he knew the full extent of this relationship, then it is an inappropriate relationship for you to be in.
I'm curious as to how long you've tried each anti-d and dosage. Of course I have had some not work but my GP rarely switched me onto new ones. I usually tried one at various doses for quite long periods of time. Are you on any right now?
I actually think he's done more harm than good. This relationship I feel has probably increased your anxiety, whether you think talking to him helps or not. It's quite shocking that he wanted you to be dependent, how would that have helped you learn to not be anxious, if the thought of not talking to him makes you more anxious? I think you should give the Alfred a call, and be honest about all of this so that they can shed some professional light on it, you don't have to give his name if you don't want to 'turn' him in.
Thank you again & none of that is said in a rude or arguing way (it can be so hard to expres feelings in writing!!) I really am just after opinions & it's great you are doing that..
Vic Park you need to be very careful with what you are saying, suggesting the op is responsible or enabling the behavior of a person who has a power imbalance over her is treading a very fine line.
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Also, I am guessing that he would not have documented the full extent of the *support* that he is offering to you, which would tell me that he would know how inappropriate he is being, and perhaps it is no accident that it is you that he is paying so much attention to. So young. So in need of help.
Would you consider requesting your records from the medical centre? just to satisfy yourself that if this support is not being recorded, he may have reasons for doing so.
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