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Its not wrong to want to live... What is wrong though, is that you're only feeling this way because of a man who is abusing his power and using your vulnerability against you.
He's not helping you long term.
I have suffered from severe depression on and off for almost ten years and have had the same GP for seven. He's been an amazing help and is very understanding, but he has never offered for me to contact him personally or out of hours. Last year when I was doing really bad and he was worried about me he gave me a number to the Alfred hospital. It's called Alfred C.A.T and is an emergency mental health number you can call to speak to a dr or nurse that specializes in mental health. They are always there to help and will call you back immediately if for some reason they can't answer. I think you need this number. The Alfred is in Melbourne (I think you're somewhere in VIC). 1300 363 746.
Do you have a counsellor? I'm not quite sure why he took it upon himself to be your 'rock' rather than directing you towards a counsellor and setting up a mental health plan with Medicare.
Thanks for your reply..
I know the dependence has gotten out of control, I realise this & I hate myself for it, yet without it I crumble. Why? I do not know. I know he is abusing his power, but yet I feel like I need it. For 8 months, I saw doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists ... They were all stumped as to how to help me, my anxiety was debilitating & this led to the depression. No medication helped, & now he is... That's why I feel so conflicted. I am not trying to have an "emotional affair", nor do I believe I am.. I just want the support.
yes, he made a move to kiss me & I said no. I value the friendship but that is all I can give.
I don't know how to fix this.. I guess I just wanted to know if this whole situation was really so wrong..
Thank you so much for this. I may actually call that number tonight, I really appreciate your support. I did receive counciling, he just managed my medications & I had A LOT of med issues so saw him quite often, though up until a month or so ago, it was strictly professional..
Hun you seeing nothing wrong with YOUR relationship with the doctor is further evidence that you need to seek independent professional medical assistance.
Last edited by VicPark; 13-04-2013 at 21:41.
There are hundreds of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds out there. It can take a while but a right combination and dosage can be found.
I think you need to break contact with this GP, maybe wean yourself off him, I don't know.... And find a new GP. Whether this is unprofessional or whether he's taking advantage--it is not healthy at all to be this dependent on somebody. It's not 'fixing' you. What will you do if for some reason you have to loose contact with him (his wife finds out, etc)? You need to learn to help yourself because being this dependent on somebody else is a recipe for disaster when it comes to depression.
thanks for your reply. I know there are hundreds of anti depressants.. I have tried all of the SSRIs, an SNRI, older tryclics, antipsychotics, anxiolytics .... God, I have tried so hard.
I also know being this dependent is not healthy, I realise this and I have told him he has led me to be dependant. At the start, I was still quite ill. I mentioned I was too dependant, his reply "depend away. I am a doctor, I will help you, always." So I did. I have. I'm in so deep. I know you are right, all of you.. & I am going to try & do what I need to do.. I'm so bloody irrational at the moment.
I am so sorry you are going through depression and anxiety. This doctor is crossing so many boundaries its not funny. He has a code of ethic to follow and that definitely doesn't include trying to kiss patients. As soon as he realised you were in any way dependant on him he should have referred you on to another doctor. I do have to agree with Vicpark regarding an emotional affair. That's exactly what is sounds like to me. Id suggest cutting all ties with this doctor and finding another you can trust. Then reporting this doctor for his behaviours.
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