Good luck today
Good luck today
Good luck today! Go in with your head held high and tell the trust. You are doing a great thing.
I hope everything went well for you today. You are doing the right thing! Don't forget that.
Good luck I hope everything went well.
How did you go? Hope you are feeling ok.
I hope it went well for you today!
It must have been such a draining, stressful and highly emotional meeting, but wow! What huge progress you have made recently! You should be proud if yourself. Very proud. Im sure one day down the track you will think back and realise how courageous and strong you are being, and What a great role model for your dd, to have someone like you able to step up and take control over something like this! Well done!
Keep on logging in to check and see how you went/how you are? Hope everything is ok!
Wow, what an emotionally draining day yesterday. The lady I met with made it so much easier, she was lovely and I felt okay. No panic attacks and no crying - I cannot believe it. I went through everything I could think of. Going over things and telling her I realised even more how much this man was manipulating me...
From the very beginning, giving me his mobile number. I had never thought much about that, but that is very strange.. Then texting back and fourth with me about meds.. Our long drawn out consults where he would talk about things so irrelevant to my treatment.. His interest in me.. His willingness to see me so often & bulk billing every single appointment (non bulk billing clinic)... He built up my trust & god I thought he was THE most amazing doctor... I shared everything with him and he new how much better my appointments made me feel. Then the texts, why was HE texting me 50 times a day? He doesn't have ocd or anxiety, why would he engage in that? Why would he allow me to develop such a dependence on him? Why would he continue that and say it "pleases" him that I am dependant on him..
He would often say things like "you please me" or "I love what you do to me" or "there is no one else like you" "I've never felt this way" he was trying to make me feel cared about and he did, but it was for his personal gain. I never ever thought it was. The way he worded things made me feel like he as so genuine, it wasn't until I read that article that I realised THAT is exactly what predators do, they manipulate their victims by making them feel safe and special and cared about... They make them develop a reliance so strong that you will not tell anyone for fear or losing them and you will do whatever they want so that you can keep that "safety".. God how did I not see this. Even the things like hugging, kissing my cheek & holding my hand during consults.. It is all so creepy. ahhhh it makes me stomach turn thinking back... Why why why did I believe this man wanted to help me feel better? Why did I not see he was slowly but surely destroying my beautiful family so that he could satisfy whatever sick fantasy he wanted.....
anyway.. I sorry for my rant. I am feeling hurt and betrayed but I have lost my of the desire to want to talk to him... This was a dependency, a false "need" that he had, by use of my illness, built up for his own use. I still feel sad, my depression has gotten quite severe actually, but I have confided in friends and family once again, I told my husband what had been going on and I told my GP to never contact me again. It's done, it's over. He will never contact me again & I will never contact him. It feels like my world has collapsed AGAIN. But I am finally starting to hate him for what he has done to me....
I will update more later, I am so drained! Xx
Thank you so much for taking the time to update! Good on you for having the courage to do what you did. I think you have a pretty big cheer squad on this forum.
I just wanted to mention that after reading your last post and then going back and reading your original post I have noticed a HUGE difference in the way you are writing. Definitely more confident and self assured.
I know you have alot to sort through, deal with but i hope you realize just how far you have come. There is such a big difference that you should be proud of.
I dont know if i have been able to explain what i am thinking but i just wanted to let you know how impressed i am.
I'm so happy for you!! What a breakthrough. You're doing so well - it can only get better from here
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