Hi ladies.. So today there was contact he wanted to meet and show me his report during the week. I told him this was not healthy for me. I said I was depressed & that he had made it worse & that I needed him out of my life. I said goodbye. I hung up the phone & sent him a text saying telling him I did not care about the report & that I did not want to see him again. He did not reply & I have not contacted further (normally I would!!) I have gone to text about 20 times today so tonight, with my best friend, I have deleted his number & sent copies of all texts to my email & filed them away..... I have been so depressed & this man is making me worse. I'm starting to truly believe that. It truly is like an addiction. There is nothing good he brings. I started thinking today "I wonder if I could just see him as my GP again without the personal contact" I honestly pondered on that thought for a good 30 seconds and felt happy... Then had to slap myself at how ridiculously stupid that idea actually was.
ladies can I ask, does this feeling pass? I have been on my meds for 7 weeks now and I feel no better. That can't be right, can it? I feel so tired & lethargic all the time. I have no energy to play with my daughter & I just want to hide away. Of course, I don't, but I hold off tears all day long & feel like such a failure.
i feel like a naughty child about to get told off....
You deleted his number!!! That's great hun!! Gosh I'm so proud of you! I saw the first 2 lines when you said there was contact and my tummy flipped thinking 'oh no' but wow I'm SO happy for you and so glad you have been so strong! This is an amazing and huge step forward! Maybe some other ladies can help you RE meds, I don't know sorry but gosh I'm SO happy you are moving forward, even if it feels like tiny baby steps!! Big big hugs!!!!! Xxx
Wow. What a huge day, and so many milestones! I don't know if you realise how much strength you have showed today. I think it will get easier, but it may get a little harder at first. You will most likely go through some sort of grieving process, and with grief can come a fear that things won't or can't get better. Also, and this is definitely not a criticism of you, when you are keeping secrets from your loved ones it can have an affect on your mental wellbeing. Meds can take a while to work, or they simply may not be the right meds.
What you have done today, and what I think you will come to realise, is you have set yourself free. You also may have saved another young woman from this predator. And even if nothing major comes of the report, the fact is that you stood up to someone in a position of authority and power over you: what a role model you are to your daughter!
Have you tried journaling? I find it helps some days (I have PND and other stuff going on) to just dump all my worries and fears on paper and tear it up.
Keep coming here if you need, I think we have all come to care for you very much. And lean on your best friend as much as you need. That's what best friends are for...
You took a giant step today! Check with your psych or pharmacist because my Dr told me there are some anti depression and anti anxiety meds that won't work properly if you eat certain foods like grapes and things.
I've been reading this thread too. Well done on deleting the number and filing the texts, also amazing job on telling him that contact is over and hanging up. That took real guts and self-belief. Therefore you are not a failure as you are a strong woman. It may not feel like it now, but you are. Your daughter will see how strong you are, and learn how to be strong from you. That is an absolute triumph. and yes, it does pass.
You may not see it, because when you are in the midst of depression, it's very hard to see anything clearly but you really have made so much progress and shown an enormous amount of strength.
The fatigue does pass, but do keep your psych updated with your symptoms because people respond differently to different meds.
Ever broken up with someone, felt like your world had collapsed, then after some time has passed looked back and thought "omg, why did I get so upset over that colossal douche-bag? He was awful!" I hope (and suspect you will) think about this Dr in a similar way in the future. You're doing the hard yards now, but it won't always be this hard.
I'm so proud of you! You've turned a corner today and have done amazingly well. Well done x
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