I agree with mrsharvey - it sounds like you're addicted to him/his support. I've been addicted to something before and in my experience, to recover you need to break the cycle. Do whatever it takes. An inpatient program would achieve that because it would literally take away your ability to contact him. I know it sounds scary but what's your alternative? Keep things going the way they are? My heart goes out to you, it really does, but you need to break this cycle, heal, and get on with your life. Your daughter won't be little forever. If you don't get help for this, what will your life be like when your daughter is old enough to understand what's going on? And don't wait to see his report - you need to write your report independently and represent the facts the best way you can. Seeing his report isn't going to help in any way. It's not going to achieve anything.