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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    Thank you for your reply. I do agree, our marriages are very important, and I try to reason with this. I think "I can do this I can cut contact" & I do, & I crash back into the darkness & I reach & he's there & he's glad. Then I start to think, if I need his support to survive & "be" maybe I have to surrender. Again, I am sounding very week, I know, God I know, how ridiculous this is.
    thank you so very much
    Talk to your husband. He's there to be your rock and depend on. Your doctor has abused his position of power and taken advantage of your illness. He said he likes it. He doesn't have your best interests at heart. This is not the behavior of someone who loves and cares for you if he enjoys you being in that place for his own selfish reasons.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Talk to your husband. He's there to be your rock and depend on. Your doctor has abused his position of power and taken advantage of your illness. He said he likes it. He doesn't have your best interests at heart. This is not the behavior of someone who loves and cares for you if he enjoys you being in that place for his own selfish reasons.

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    100% this! Talk to your husband.

  4. #23
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    It sure has been a hard time...
    I know I have crossed my own boundaries by talking with him so often. I just feel safe, supported & "okay" when I am with him, which is a far cry from wanting to not wake up a few months ago.
    my husband is aware of my dependency on my doctor. He knows how ill I have been.. He knows about the texts, the dependency... He knows also that I've caught up with him.. I'm a very honest person & I am trying to be as honest as I can... You have to understand that in all of this, relationship aside, I want to want to be alive, and sometimes I put my relationship to the side & think "well, at least I'm not wanting my life to end today... That has to be the overriding factor" is that selfish?

    also, my hubby has not been much support.... Everything has been up to me. Through my depression, I lost control of our finances, my crippling anxiety consumed me... He spent so much money & I did not have the will to control it... We lost our house in Jan and are now living with his family. This crushes & hurts me. I'm really confused & I do already feel like a terrible person...

  5. #24
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    He is taking advantage of you.

    You are more than likely not the only one either.

    PLEASE seek help elsewhere!!

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    It sure has been a hard time...
    I know I have crossed my own boundaries by talking with him so often. I just feel safe, supported & "okay" when I am with him, which is a far cry from wanting to not wake up a few months ago.
    my husband is aware of my dependency on my doctor. He knows how ill I have been.. He knows about the texts, the dependency... He knows also that I've caught up with him.. I'm a very honest person & I am trying to be as honest as I can... You have to understand that in all of this, relationship aside, I want to want to be alive, and sometimes I put my relationship to the side & think "well, at least I'm not wanting my life to end today... That has to be the overriding factor" is that selfish?

    also, my hubby has not been much support.... Everything has been up to me. Through my depression, I lost control of our finances, my crippling anxiety consumed me... He spent so much money & I did not have the will to control it... We lost our house in Jan and are now living with his family. This crushes & hurts me. I'm really confused & I do already feel like a terrible person...
    This to me says you need actual help immediately. He is not helping you to get better. I'm sorry this sounds like I'm trying to take your support away, but if you fear for your life, PLEASE go to the ed and check yourself in. I've been there and I understand that dark place and the fear. Please get actual help, not manipulation.

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  8. #26
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    The doctor is a dirty old pervert who just wants to get his rocks off with a younger chick. And the only way he can get a younger chick is to prey on someone like yourself who is in a dark place.

    You deserve to life a happy life with a hubby that loves you. You deserve to be more than a pawn in an old creeps fantasy.
    - Flirting with a married man when you are married yourself is not cool. It will not give you the happy life you deserve. It will lead to nothing but heartache all round.

    You have come to rely on your doctor. Find something else to soak that energy up. Exercise, a hobby anything.

    Give yourself the best chance of success by getting real professional help now. Go see another doctor (female preferably) or go into the ED and ask for help.
    Good luck...

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  10. #27
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    Just to clarify, I do not intend to "flirt". I have told him the friendship is valuable. I would not let it to further, & he knows this. He knows I am emotionally vulnerable - I do not want a sexual/romatic relationship with this man.. He is 22 years my senior, & someone who I am not attracted to. I'm sorry if that wasn't clear.
    I possibly should remove this now I'm feeling way too vulnerable!!

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    Oh you poor thing. He truly is abusing his position of power and your vulnerability. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for or embarrassed about.

    Please remember that you do not owe him anything. You are his patient, he is both paid to help you and sworn not to take advantage of you. Any thing that he took out of the clinical environment was him crossing the boundaries of his profession - this includes all of the texts.

    Do you feel that you have been bouyed by his support of you, or are you responding to the attention and the thrill? I really think that you need some support to end this entanglement - do you see a psychologist who can help you through this?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    Just to clarify, I do not intend to "flirt". I have told him the friendship is valuable. I would not let it to further, & he knows this. He knows I am emotionally vulnerable - I do not want a sexual/romatic relationship with this man.. He is 22 years my senior, & someone who I am not attracted to. I'm sorry if that wasn't clear.
    I possibly should remove this now I'm feeling way too vulnerable!!
    It sounds like you are having an emotional affair with this man. Or at the very least an emotionally inappropriate relationship. He declared his love for you and talks to you about his wife. Continuing to meet with him is inappropriate.

    I really don't mean to be nasty. I'm only telling you this as It raises an important point: Sure the doctor is absolutely at fault. But you have crossed the line as well. With this in mind YOU have the ability to make things right. YOU have the ability to make a happy life for yourself. If you need a hand to uncross the line, please seek help. YOU deserve to have a wonderful life.

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  15. #30
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    Hun, he is taking advantage of you. That is despicable.

    I understand your hesitation in breaking contact with him but it needs to be done. Now. He is not acting in your best interest. He KNOWS he shouldn't be doing what he is doing, yet he continues to do so.

    You need a doctor who will support you, hold your hand, guide you to full health. Not someone looking for an opportunity.

    I'm not 100% sure, and hopefully someone can confirm/deny this for me, but isn't what he is doing illegal?

    Please, for the sake of your health see a different doctor.

    I wish you the best and hope you do seek out the support and professional help from a doctor who's only interest is your health.


 

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