Thanks ladies, I know I have to stop thinking he was good - it just feels like ... ahhh I dont know. Like someone has died - been removed from my life forever & there is nothing I can do to ever change that. & when this person was such a huge part of every minute of my day, it just makes it feel like my world is crashing in around me - I hate how I am feeling & I hate I am not stronger than this? Why didn't I recognise this earlier, I was so sure the relationship would not hurt me. Wow, I was wrong!
I have to go & pick up my medical records in half an hour, I'm already so nervous about that. Oh well!!