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  1. #201
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    OP I'm concerned about how quickly this is moving and how that must be affecting your anxiety.

    I don't suffer from anxiety but I have a friend who does and the chain of events over the last few days would have her rocking in a corner.

    It's great your step-mum took action so quickly and was able to see the practice manager on Sunday, but you said she was seeing the GP for a similar issue as you? Perhaps you need someone else to be your support person?

    I assume she told his wife because she is a partner in the practice as well? It's usual for PMs to tell partners in a practice when there has been a complaint against a doctor in the practice.

    Hello, you are right. This has been really terrible for my anxiety, but surprisingly worse for my depression (which had only surfaced in the past severely due to poor reactions to medications). It is an absolutely awful feeling - I feel like this will never stop hurting because before all of this I struggled so constantly for 8 months that even my doctor and psychiatrist were running low on what to do, now I have this additional hurt & anguish and my doctor is no longer there, I feel like I need him more now that ever :-(

  2. #202
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    Stay strong. You are doing the right thing. We are all here if you need someone to talk to x

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  4. #203
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    Stay strong hun. You need to keep saying to yourself that he was NOT a good doctor, he was and is a terrible doctor who used you. Nothing that he did was for your benefit. You will come to a point where you will be eternally grateful that this man will never have any contact again, with you or and especially with your children. He has used you and put you in a not so nice place. Is your psych in regular contact? Can she recommend another doctor? I hope you have retrieved your medical records.

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  6. #204
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    I've been reading along till now and haven't commented as everyone else has already been so helpful. I work in mental health and have had clients develop feelings for me before. They haven't said as much but I picked up on the feelings and organised alternative care for them and appropriate supports. People experiencing depression and anxiety (or other MH issues) are vulnerable just like children are. I know you think the Dr had good intentions and he may have had in the beginning but there is a serious power imbalance here. I have very clear rules with my clients... No out of hours texting, calls are only professional and I only ever email with professional advice (not chitchat). He knows this and is not a young doctor starting out who got caught up in his emotions. The reaction of the practice manager was/is disgusting. To be honest, it makes me think that it has happened before and they have used scare tactics to avoid public backlash. Can I ask if it is a big medical clinic?? because I have had some negative interactions that sound similar with large practices that operate like businesses and don't care about people. She has placed your mental health at further risk. I would be making that clear to your psych and having them document this. I would also be seeking legal advice about your records. Be kind to yourself. This is not your fault. Your doctor is in the wrong. He started this - not you. Please take a support person with you if there is any further interaction and inform them you will speak with you lawyer if any further threats are made. You sound like a lovely person who sees the good in people and this key explain why you have honestly wanted to see the best intentions in everyone so far (dr and practice manager). You sound very protective of the Dr and to me it sounds very similar to a domestic violence cycle... He's emotionally manipulating you so that he is the only one who can help (shutting out your husband, taking you off meds etc.). But you are so strong that you have got this far. Cry, scream etc. as you have a right to but don't listen to the thoughts blaming yourself because you want to believe he is doing the right thing. He's not and you have nothing to be embarrassed/ashamed of x
    Last edited by MinnieMouse81; 17-04-2013 at 07:54.

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  8. #205
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    I've been following along and you are doing a great job, you are being so brave. It's time for you to not suffer, screw him and the practice manager they will both get what they deserve.
    Keep strong and now anything you do take a witness with... They will use your mental health issues against you so be strong. You have been amazing. Go request your records and try retrieve your messages.

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  10. #206
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    Hello again,
    Well last night was a hard night. God I don't remember ever having cried this much, & when people ask me why, I'm not sure. The loss of a massive support? Being cut of by someone who has been allowing you, wanting you to be "co dependant" (sounds sick ahhhh I know), the loss of my amazing GP who I have always raved on to everyone about, the comfort of my sessions with him, our texts, our conversations... he was a doctor, & it bought me a calm I so badly needed that he was there for me constantly, the fact that I am banned from him clinic, that he could potentially lose his wife, house, car (mentioning that we looked up his name on white pages and saw his address & put it into google earth.. (i dont know why) & saw that his house is a very old, run down home in an area that wouldnt be expensive (maybe $300k) & his car from the 1990s which is also nothing special.. my step mother is now wondering if he has done these types of things before & that is why (or maybe he just likes it that way) who knows, im trying to make myself believe he has done this stuff before & maybe thats why he appears to not have any money... not that its relevant, but im trying to hold onto the fact that maybe he did manipulate me, becuase right now I feel like no one understands. Noone understands, he was sweet, he did try to back away when I said it was affecting my home life, he always assured me "All i want is you to be happy", "i'm always here, I just want you to be happy & content". He really wasnt bad & I feel like I have misrepresented him. God, I am struggling. I walked into work and my boss smiled at me, TEARS. fffffffar out. Well i'll be here all day so will reply as much as needed (more for me to try to take my mind off this)

    Does anyone have any idea of the severity of this case? I mean, AHPRA have said that depending on the claims, the dr will receive either:
    1. A caution
    2. Caution with additional ethics training required
    3. Caution with additional ethics training required & supervision
    4. Suspension of license
    5. Cancellation of license

    I'm not sure what's deemed "serious" and whats just a slap on the wrist type scenario...

  11. #207
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    Glad to hear you're ok. I might be off the mark here, and if so I hope it doesn't make things worse... I was thinking if I were in this situation, that it'd be very hard for me to accept that this 'relationship' that I had invested time and emotion into was dismissed as not being 'meaningful', iykwim. It must have been nice to feel like someone was going out of their way to really look after you. Gd knows I would love that in my life! I'm not saying his behaviour was warranted, or that you encouraged it or anything. More that he wasn't the obviously creepy snake-in-the-grass model of predator.

    So having to hear that he didn't care, that his intentions weren't genuine etc might be difficult. Because I think there must have been a time when his level of care for you helped you get through the day, helped you feel that you can cope, and having to go through this and feeling those times weren't what you thought they were might be leading to deeper depression. A little bit like a break-up, if that makes sense. And if you are someone that doesn't find it very easy to form those kind of deep relationships, well, then your trust in others must be a little bit shattered as well.

    It is probably hard that your husband is so angry, and he might be expressing it as anger at you. I think it would be hard for him to know that things has been so hard for you without him a) having a clue, and b) being able to help you. So please don't take on any more guilt that your husband is upset. He knows now, and he needs a little time to digest things.

    It is great that you have family around you now. Maybe they can help you find a different GP to talk to.

    Remember, we hubbers are here too, and it seems like we are all very, very concerned, but proud of you!

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  13. #208
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    Hello again,
    Well last night was a hard night. God I don't remember ever having cried this much, & when people ask me why, I'm not sure. The loss of a massive support? Being cut of by someone who has been allowing you, wanting you to be "co dependant" (sounds sick ahhhh I know), the loss of my amazing GP who I have always raved on to everyone about, the comfort of my sessions with him, our texts, our conversations... he was a doctor, & it bought me a calm I so badly needed that he was there for me constantly, the fact that I am banned from him clinic, that he could potentially lose his wife, house, car (mentioning that we looked up his name on white pages and saw his address & put it into google earth.. (i dont know why) & saw that his house is a very old, run down home in an area that wouldnt be expensive (maybe $300k) & his car from the 1990s which is also nothing special.. my step mother is now wondering if he has done these types of things before & that is why (or maybe he just likes it that way) who knows, im trying to make myself believe he has done this stuff before & maybe thats why he appears to not have any money... not that its relevant, but im trying to hold onto the fact that maybe he did manipulate me, becuase right now I feel like no one understands. Noone understands, he was sweet, he did try to back away when I said it was affecting my home life, he always assured me "All i want is you to be happy", "i'm always here, I just want you to be happy & content". He really wasnt bad & I feel like I have misrepresented him. God, I am struggling. I walked into work and my boss smiled at me, TEARS. fffffffar out. Well i'll be here all day so will reply as much as needed (more for me to try to take my mind off this)

    Does anyone have any idea of the severity of this case? I mean, AHPRA have said that depending on the claims, the dr will receive either:
    1. A caution
    2. Caution with additional ethics training required
    3. Caution with additional ethics training required & supervision
    4. Suspension of license
    5. Cancellation of license

    I'm not sure what's deemed "serious" and whats just a slap on the wrist type scenario...
    Don't think on the details. Whatever happens, you haven't done this to him. He has done this to himself.

    Repeat 100 times: he IS bad, he IS bad, I'm GLAD he won't be my daughter's doctor!

    Imagine if he did this to your daughter? How would you feel about him then?

  14. #209
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    Please stop thinking he is a good person. Good people don't manipulate or play with people's emotions for their own benefit. What he has done is very bad and you need to stop defending him or worrying about his future and focus on your own.

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  16. #210
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    Thanks ladies, I know I have to stop thinking he was good - it just feels like ... ahhh I dont know. Like someone has died - been removed from my life forever & there is nothing I can do to ever change that. & when this person was such a huge part of every minute of my day, it just makes it feel like my world is crashing in around me - I hate how I am feeling & I hate I am not stronger than this? Why didn't I recognise this earlier, I was so sure the relationship would not hurt me. Wow, I was wrong!

    I have to go & pick up my medical records in half an hour, I'm already so nervous about that. Oh well!!


 

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