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  1. #111
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    Hi OP-

    Just wanted to check in and add some thoughts, although I don't think they're anything different from what others have said.

    As far as an emotional affair, I do think it is one, definitely on his side. But I think your side is a lot more complicated because you're in a position where you are vulnerable and not yourself and he is definitely taking advantage of you, and grooming you in a sense. I do think you are a victim in this. I don't think your husband knows everything, because I think if he did he would have the same stance as the rest of us and would want to get you away from this man. I really think you need to tell your husband everything and let him help you. If you don't feel your relationship is in a place where you trust telling him then what about your parents? If you are close to your dad, can you ask him for his help and support through this?

    This man (or dr) is not helping you or has your best interest at heart. Trust me, no dr would take you off an anti-d after only three weeks and say you don't need them. Anti-d's (like I said) take 3-4 weeks to BEGIN to start working, but you need to be on them for so much longer for them to actually work and you begin to see long term effects (ie they clear your head enough so that therapy then begins to start to get through). The fact that he took you off those recent ones (and I am assuming others in the past) so soon really makes me think that he's trying to keep you in a vulnerable state because he's either scared you won't need him anymore or some other equally wrong/sick reason. He seems really unsafe to me (maybe not physically but definitely mentally) and I really think, as hard as it is, you need to cut ties with him immediately. Delete his number from your phone and go get a new SIM card so that he can't contact you. Maybe go stay with your parents for a while and have them take you to a new GP. Or alternatively, the hospital for a few days, where it will just be all about you. I really think you should call that Alfred C.A.T number I gave you and try to get their help. Also a few days in the hospital with no contact and professional help that is all about you could be so beneficial right now.

    I think with your psychologist, you should try to get in this week and speak with her about all of this. My counsellor often had cancelations during the week and she'll call to let me know or if its an emergency she'll just find a way to squeeze me in.

    I really think this man is hindering your progress and the only way to begin to get out of this depression hole you find yourself in is to begin by cutting him out. I feel it could really only have a positive outcome for you in the long run. Make reporting him the least of your worries right now. If when you're stronger and seeing more clearly you want to report him then do it.

    We are so much stronger then we think we are and I guarantee you are as well. I've been in a dark hole like you are now, it is possible to find your way out. But I don't think you will be able to until this man is cut out.

  2. #112
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    Accidental post sorry!
    Last edited by Twoalready; 14-04-2013 at 11:06.

  3. #113
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    Hun he is not helping or saving you. Part of getting better is developing your own resilience, learning that YOU hold the answers, you have the power to work thru things. Using him as an emotional crutch is not getting you better. You need to be your own crutch. not saying you shouldn't need or accept support - but what you are describing is not a healthy relationship.

    A good practitioner (and this is more in a social worker/psych sense) helps you help yourself. They aid you in developing tools to work thru your anxiety and depression, often with meds. The don't save or fix you, they facilitate you to do that.

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  5. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    Hello, thanks for all of your ongoing advice, Vicpark! It's appreciated. Would the police need to get involved? Is this really that serious? :|
    Not sure. Possibly. At the very least he will be investigated by the appropriate medical authority. You shouldn't worry too much about that. Just tell your psych everything and they will help you take care of all of that.

  6. #115
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    I haven't read all of the comments..

    I agree that the doctor has been extremely unprofessional and completely inappropriate.

    Moving forward its probably a good idea to get another doctor... I strongly believe he has taken advantage of you .. But I also think you need to tell him that it needs to stop, and then if it continues, at that point I would report him.
    Last edited by cassieh; 14-04-2013 at 13:59.

  7. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirst33 View Post
    Hi OP-

    Just wanted to check in and add some thoughts, although I don't think they're anything different from what others have said.

    As far as an emotional affair, I do think it is one, definitely on his side. But I think your side is a lot more complicated because you're in a position where you are vulnerable and not yourself and he is definitely taking advantage of you, and grooming you in a sense. I do think you are a victim in this. I don't think your husband knows everything, because I think if he did he would have the same stance as the rest of us and would want to get you away from this man. I really think you need to tell your husband everything and let him help you. If you don't feel your relationship is in a place where you trust telling him then what about your parents? If you are close to your dad, can you ask him for his help and support through this?

    This man (or dr) is not helping you or has your best interest at heart. Trust me, no dr would take you off an anti-d after only three weeks and say you don't need them. Anti-d's (like I said) take 3-4 weeks to BEGIN to start working, but you need to be on them for so much longer for them to actually work and you begin to see long term effects (ie they clear your head enough so that therapy then begins to start to get through). The fact that he took you off those recent ones (and I am assuming others in the past) so soon really makes me think that he's trying to keep you in a vulnerable state because he's either scared you won't need him anymore or some other equally wrong/sick reason. He seems really unsafe to me (maybe not physically but definitely mentally) and I really think, as hard as it is, you need to cut ties with him immediately. Delete his number from your phone and go get a new SIM card so that he can't contact you. Maybe go stay with your parents for a while and have them take you to a new GP. Or alternatively, the hospital for a few days, where it will just be all about you. I really think you should call that Alfred C.A.T number I gave you and try to get their help. Also a few days in the hospital with no contact and professional help that is all about you could be so beneficial right now.

    I think with your psychologist, you should try to get in this week and speak with her about all of this. My counsellor often had cancelations during the week and she'll call to let me know or if its an emergency she'll just find a way to squeeze me in.

    I really think this man is hindering your progress and the only way to begin to get out of this depression hole you find yourself in is to begin by cutting him out. I feel it could really only have a positive outcome for you in the long run. Make reporting him the least of your worries right now. If when you're stronger and seeing more clearly you want to report him then do it.

    We are so much stronger then we think we are and I guarantee you are as well. I've been in a dark hole like you are now, it is possible to find your way out. But I don't think you will be able to until this man is cut out.

    Hello thank you for your reply (& everyone else who has replied too!)
    today has been a hard day, lots of soul searching & trying to convince myself that this cannot go on. 2 but steps were made today. My step mum, who has been my rock through this, I told her. I made her read this thread & she was go smacked & angry (my GP is her GP - who is supporting her through something similar)... My psychologist called & now knows everything - except the name of the GP. She has been in close communication with him throughout this ordeal, & I haven't been able to tell her it is him. Now I'm trying to get the courage to say his name because once I do that, she will file a report with AHPRA (ethics board) & I don't really know what happens then. I will have to find out... I'm trying to tell her, finding the strength! I feel like this is going to kill me, logically I know it will not, but I cnt even find the words to tell my GP to stop because if I do I fear the repercussions. I need this to be taken out of my control, I need to tell my psych...

    thank you again ladies!

  8. #117
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    You have made the best decision to share this with people in your life.

    Good on you for taking control of a situation where you were feeling that you had none.

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  10. #118
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    I totally agree with babyla - you have shown enormous strength. Good on you

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  12. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undercover001 View Post
    Hello thank you for your reply (& everyone else who has replied too!)
    today has been a hard day, lots of soul searching & trying to convince myself that this cannot go on. 2 but steps were made today. My step mum, who has been my rock through this, I told her. I made her read this thread & she was go smacked & angry (my GP is her GP - who is supporting her through something similar)... My psychologist called & now knows everything - except the name of the GP. She has been in close communication with him throughout this ordeal, & I haven't been able to tell her it is him. Now I'm trying to get the courage to say his name because once I do that, she will file a report with AHPRA (ethics board) & I don't really know what happens then. I will have to find out... I'm trying to tell her, finding the strength! I feel like this is going to kill me, logically I know it will not, but I cnt even find the words to tell my GP to stop because if I do I fear the repercussions. I need this to be taken out of my control, I need to tell my psych...

    thank you again ladies!
    I have been wondering how you were today. You've already taken some massive steps! Telling your stepmom and therapist is a really big deal and at least one of them knows the full story and can do her best to help you. I think you're going to find that every day you will wake up a little bit stronger and able to take more steps to get out of this situation and also start to take the right steps towards dealing with your depression and anxiety. Does your therapist know that it is a doctor you are having problems with? If she has dealt with him before and knows he's your doctor then how has she not figured out it is him? Or do you think she just won't do anything until it is confirmed from you about who it is? What are her thoughts about what is happening (I don't know why I'm assuming your therapist is a girl)? What are your stepmom's thoughts? Be proud of yourself for speaking to these two people today, I think you have taken some big steps to helping yourself! You're going to find--when you have a proper dr that handles your meds responsibly, along with your therapy, that you will start to feel more and more like yourself again. It's not immediate but it happens!

    Good on you today! Be proud of yourself, you are definitely stronger then you think you are. Do you feel a little relieved?

  13. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirst33 View Post
    I have been wondering how you were today. You've already taken some massive steps! Telling your stepmom and therapist is a really big deal and at least one of them knows the full story and can do her best to help you. I think you're going to find that every day you will wake up a little bit stronger and able to take more steps to get out of this situation and also start to take the right steps towards dealing with your depression and anxiety. Does your therapist know that it is a doctor you are having problems with? If she has dealt with him before and knows he's your doctor then how has she not figured out it is him? Or do you think she just won't do anything until it is confirmed from you about who it is? What are her thoughts about what is happening (I don't know why I'm assuming your therapist is a girl)? What are your stepmom's thoughts? Be proud of yourself for speaking to these two people today, I think you have taken some big steps to helping yourself! You're going to find--when you have a proper dr that handles your meds responsibly, along with your therapy, that you will start to feel more and more like yourself again. It's not immediate but it happens!

    Good on you today! Be proud of yourself, you are definitely stronger then you think you are. Do you feel a little relieved?
    Thank you again Kirst!! It was hard, but good! I drove the thinking I can't do this, I got there & the moment she answered the door I said "I have something I really need to talk to you about so do not let me leave today without telling you, even if I change my mind".. After that, I had to! My psychologist knows it is "a" doctor, just not "my" doctor that she deals with, although I am fairly certain she really does know, but needs a definitive answer to report him.. She is disgusted with what is happening, she said what he is doing is manipulative, unethical & illegal.. He has broken every part of his oath, & she told me I need to stop worrying about him & start being angry at him, use that to fuel my recovery...
    I do feel a little better, though at the same time, very scared & very nervous... This will be hard, & I need to be able to do it. Like I said, I am scared if I just don't do anything and try to stop talking to him, I will fall into this again & again because he wants me to..


 

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