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  1. #1
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    Default Custody fun fun

    Very very quick background. Child now 4. Father bailed upon conception basically. Came back when child 2.5 and has since seen 3 times long periods of time in between physical contact but has had Skype weekly for at least past 12 months. He wants 50/50 when he moves here. Stuff that. My concern is only he is a stranger and inexperienced. What would you propose for long term visitation and working up to it? I must add he bullied me into unsupervised visit the last two times. Urgent, due in court in 3 weeks and still waiting on legal aid application. I want to be ready and reasonable. Thank you!

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    I don't think he would stand a chance of 50/50 at this stage. From what i've seen friends go through, it usually starts off for a few hours supervised and eventually builds up to overnights, and much later on half the hols and the likes.

    Definitely get legal advice though. Everyones situation and experience with family law seem very varied.

  3. #3
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    I don't see how he could get 50/50 at the moment. I'm sure it would start gradual, perhaps a few hours maybe twice a week and build up on that.

    this must be so upsetting for you

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    No court would grant 50/50 custody to someone who is essentially a stranger. More likely he'll be given supervised access visits, and as PP said, work up from there.

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    Pffft yeah right he's done basically zero parenting yet wants 50% custody... Made me laugh.

    Its really up to you OP - short visits and build up very slowly is prob the best option but you're the mother so you will know your own child and what is least disruptive/stressful for him.

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    Is he on the birth certificate? I would assume not, as he would have had to sign, and if he bailed before your dd was born then he would not have. If he isn't on the birth certificate then he has no legal rights without a DNA test.

    If I were you then say he needs to work up to 50 and you are willing to plan for that to happen within a certain time frame. Have you gone to mediation? If not the courts will throw the case in the bin till you do. And no judge in his right mind will grant 50/50 with the history you gave us

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    He is on birth cert, I posted it to him and amazingly he signed it. I have a history of alcoholism, am an alcoholic but have always sought help and have been sober bar two slips since child conceived. He is hammering my past about it and lied saying I have called him up drunk and appeared drunk on Skype, sooo many lies in his affidavit designed to get me furious of course....now I have to try and prove them wrong. His lawyer is a tops known as being aggressive and all for fathers no matter what!!

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    It doesn't matter if he is all for fathers. The bf has had minimal contact and cannot just demand 50/50. It has to be built up to that... Has he paid child support since the baby was born? I would be asking for that before he can have 50/50. But that's just me. Any sane judge will say exactly the same about building up to 50/50.

    Good luck with it all


 

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