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  1. #1
    Allymumtobe's Avatar
    Allymumtobe is offline Winner 2012 - Most Optimistic Poster
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    Default Feeling guilty (trigger warning)

    My baby boy was born sleeping on Saturday night they let me have him till mid Sunday morning thence was taken away for a few hours then we got him back for two hours.

    I feel horribly guilty that I left him behind. I know he had passed and couldn't come home but I can't shake the guilt.

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    I couldn't read and not comment. I am so sorry for your terrible loss.
    I think feeling guilty for being separated from your newborn is a completely normal feeling, whether your baby was born awake or asleep. It's what mothers do.
    With love xx

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    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

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    Ali-- I'll PM you a big response later but I know this feeling. I feel you only left Angus' physical body behind, you didn't leave him behind because he really is always with you. Not just in a religious sense. Angus was part of you, your body made him and grew him. A friend explained it to me this way--your blood was always pumping through Angus and in turn his blood was then pumping through you, so little bits if his DNA are all through your body and that's never going to go away, he's always been there and always will be. You had to leave his physical body behind but he is with you, in the sense I just explained but also his spirit. You know this because of the love you feel. The love hurts right now but I'm sure even now you're grateful that Angus existed and gave you the opportunity to feel this love. It's always going to be there and I promise soon you'll begin to take comfort in it. I do have days where it really hurts still but I have more and more days where I can just feel the love and be grateful that we had Clem even for such a short time. 20 weeks was better then her never existing at all. These next few weeks will be really hard but I promise it will get easier. Angus is always with you, I promise. Sometimes you'll even have signs. I'll PM you more later. Xoxoxo

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    ABigDeepBreath  (12-04-2013),Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013),atomicmama  (11-04-2013),bokkie_wotwot  (11-04-2013),dancingchipmunk  (11-04-2013),Lauzy83  (11-04-2013),MarchMumma  (15-04-2013),Mod-Uniquey  (11-04-2013),mum2twinboys  (11-04-2013),Piffle  (11-04-2013),RipperRita  (12-04-2013),SageS  (11-04-2013),wannawannabe  (13-04-2013)

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    Well said pp's. I am so sorry for you and your family. I wish there was something I can say to help but I don't think there are words. Talk cry vent do what you feel you need to do. I think you know how many people here love you and care. We are all here for you

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    So sorry Ally. Any feelings you have are part of the grieving process so be kind to yourself. Are you planning on speaking with a counseller hopefully they may be able to help you work through your feelings of guilt.

    Take care xxx

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    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

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    I'm so sorry Ally. What a horrible thing to have to feel with all the grief and loss as well. I can imagine it would be very easy to feel that way. I hope PP have offered some helpful perspectives...Kirst's post was lovely.

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    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

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    I'm so sorry for your loss Ally. That sounds like a very normal feeling to have and probably allowing yourself to have a full range of emotions right now is not a bad thing. I also think counselling would be a good thing to do if you feel right for it.

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    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

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    That must be one of the hardest things anybody could ever do. I don't know what to say except that I am so very sorry. Xxx

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    I have no words of advice, but I just wanted to let you know that you have so many people supporting you right now

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    Allymumtobe  (11-04-2013)

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    Hugs xx I haven't experienced this so I can't pretend to know how u feel but I am thinking of you x

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