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  1. #21
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    Yes I do think you are being a little bit unreasonable. If you were behind the curtain then he couldn't see you... and if you weren't behind the curtain and were uncomfortable with someone coming in and seeing you then why weren't you behind the curtain? I don't see why his occupation as a cleaner makes any difference?

    Maybe the toilet was blocked (hence the mess everywhere) and he was trying to unblock it?

  2. #22
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    Just a quick note OP, I just read your OP again- you seem concerned that he may have potentially been wanting to assault you in some way or that men in general might do this by coming into quiet parents rooms looking for bf mums- I just wanted to say this is very unlikely. Statistics show that the vast majority of people who are sexually assaulted knew their attacker before it happened, the majority of sexual assaults are premeditated and about half actually occur in the victims home. Shows like SVU perpetrate the myth of the "stranger rapist". Not saying dont be careful or vigilant but just that it is very unlikely.

  3. #23
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    Atropos while I do agree it's highly unlikely I think for a lot of women breastfeedjng makes them feel very exposed. In the situation that happened to me the guy who came into the room had no kids, was stalking around looking behind curtains and reeked to high heaven. I am someone who bf's anywhere and everywhere so I'm no prude at all. I do think sometimes women in parents rooms can feel a little vulnerable, and while nothing happened to me it made me realise if something had what would I do?

    Over 3 kids and 7 years of using them I feel far more comfortable with using them for anything other than breastfeeding. I've heard of some that are in car parks. Doesn't get much more isolating than that.

    But I wouldn't be put off by a male cleaner per se, I doubt I'd even notice tbh. But I can understand why the OP felt like she did.

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  5. #24
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    Sonja, I agree with you. I feel more vulnerable feeding in a parents room if I am the only one in there than if I were to sit in the middle of the food court.

    I have no problem if there is at least one other person in there or if say DP is at the shops too and knows I am in there.

    It may be irrational but it's how I feel.

  6. #25
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    A lot of posts in here are the reason DF won't go into a parents room. He waits outside for me or if he's by himself with the kids he takes them to disabled.

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  8. #26
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    I too can see how/why the OP felt vulnerable (as I stated in my earlier post) and I didn't mention anything about his sex, more to the point that I could see why the OP would feel a bit vulnerable when she's in a room and thinking she was the only one in there.

    I feed anywhere, however I know that when I am ever sitting in a parent room cubicle and feeding, I totally zone out. You can generally hear the comings and going of people in and out of the room, but I can definitely see how it *may* seem a bit unsettling to realise you weren't alone if you're feeling vulnerable to begin with.

  9. #27
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    Male cleaners don't bother me in the slightest. Whilst I think it's odd that people who don't have kids use parent rooms I've seen it a lot. I don't like parent rooms anyway and don use them now anyway to many bad experiences.if Myself or DS need to use the toilet I take myself DS and DD to a regular toilet It's a tight squeeze sometimes ill use the disabled toilets cubicles I they're free (not the actual big locked sliding door disabled ones as I think that's wrong) and if DD needs a nappy change off to the car we go. I don't like parent rooms in the slightest and will not use them. I think you ha aright to feel uncomfortable when the person with no kids come in but the cleaner I don't think should be an issue. I would've complained about the cleanliness though

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  11. #28
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    Atropos I agree with Sonja & Tadpoles that it is highly unlikely, but it's just an uneasy feeling to be on your own in a room with a closed door with a strange man.

    I mentioned his occupation to demonstrate that he's an employee of the centre so should be representing his employer in a good light. I would have felt the same if he was an admin staff member or a security guard.

    I didn't think that he might have been checking toilet paper / soap etc, so potentially he was doing that.

    And I think in this context his gender does matter. Although i prefer to cover up, I would breastfeed my baby without cover in a room full of only women, but wouldn't feel comfortable doing the same in a room full of men. I guess I feel that way because women have their own boobs to look at and also understand that their primary purpose is to nourish babies, whereas some men (not all men!!) think of them solely as something sexual and might sneak a peak (generally speaking, not necessarily referring to what happened today). The only men who I feel comfortable with seeing my breasts are my husband and those in the medical field where it's necessary. I know many women are more confident with feeding uncovered around men, but each to their own.

  12. #29
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    Sorry I have to disagree too altropos.
    There are some strange and sinister people that hand around the shops... You never know what they are up too.

    I would be rather frightened if I was in my own feeding too and a bloke came in for 5 mins no matter whether he worked there or not.

    Most of us would remember what happened to Sophia shou that was brutally murdered in a public disabled toilets in Perth a few years back poor little girl
    Last edited by MummaJez; 10-04-2013 at 20:19.

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  14. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsOhara View Post
    A lot of posts in here are the reason DF won't go into a parents room. He waits outside for me or if he's by himself with the kids he takes them to disabled.
    I can understand that as df has in the past expressed the same opinion.

    I know for me though if there is a male in there with his partner or if he is bringing the child/ren in I'm comfortable with it, same feeling as though it were a female. It's when someone comes in with no child/ren my opinion changes.


 

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