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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by wantingtostart View Post
    I would do it...
    Really? I don't mean to come across as mean in anyway so please don't think that, but do you think you would feel ok with it if the other person wasn't ready/did not want children?

  2. #62
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    Falling pregnant deceitfully is a pretty low act I think, and also pretty pathetic.

    You can't have much of a strong relationship if you are willing to get what you want without discussing it or agreeing on something with your partner.

    Yes if a man has unprotected sex there is always a chance of falling pregnant but if you are in a relationship and you both agree on a method of contraception and you stop taking it on purpose I think that's wrong. Especially if he's said he's not ready or doesn't want more children.

  3. #63
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    I couldn't do it. ever. my df and I had agreed on ttc #2 at the end of lsat year. I was on the pill. He told me several times during tge year that I want to tell him when we were trying, just stop taking the pill and suprise him with a bfp.

    Even though I had his full permission, and it was discussed, I couldn't do it. in theory I think it woods have been an awesome expected suprise, but it felt so decietful and wrong on all pitfalls. I don't know how anyone could do it knowing the other party didn't feel the same.

    Oh... When I was ready to stop taking the pill, I asked df what he thought about it, after him telling me off, that of course I should stop, that I wasnt supposed to tell him... I stopped, and we are now still ttc.

    Im glad we takes about it, I couldn't bring a child into the world without the other partys ok, unless it was a true accident

  4. #64
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    Hell no !!!

    how awful for a guy to get fooled into having a kid ..

    Also your most likely to end up a single parent ( not ideal )

    I think woman who do it are absolute losers !

  5. #65
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    It's an awful thing to do. My mum accused me of doing it and I was so offended and hurt that she would think I'm that sort of person.

  6. #66
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    I would NEVER do it. I do know how much yearning you feel for another and still I wouldn't do it.

    My DH and I decided on 2 children. I wanted 3. We have 1. After our DD was born he didn't want another. I want more - desperately. I could NEVER have another without his willingness. I can't count the times I have cried over only having 1. It still reduces me to tears - I have tears in my eyes typing this.

    My DD is now almost 8 and I have NEVER tried to fall pregnant. It is a LOW act.

    I have a very strong marriage. I would NEVER betray his trust and I expect the same from him.

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imsooverit View Post
    I would NEVER do it. I do know how much yearning you feel for another and still I wouldn't do it.

    My DH and I decided on 2 children. I wanted 3. We have 1. After our DD was born he didn't want another. I want more - desperately. I could NEVER have another without his willingness. I can't count the times I have cried over only having 1. It still reduces me to tears - I have tears in my eyes typing this.

    My DD is now almost 8 and I have NEVER tried to fall pregnant. It is a LOW act.

    I have a very strong marriage. I would NEVER betray his trust and I expect the same from him.
    Oh you poor thing!

    See, this is where i struggle to understand it - coz i dont have that yearning. I've never been clucky in my life. I know most women do feel that burning need to have children. And knowing that, i do feel for her. But i dont know, i just see thing either black or white.

    At the end of the day though, i doubt anything i say will change her mind if it truly is some biological drive overriding her senses.

  8. #68
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    I really wanted another baby after DD. DD's dad said absolutely no way was he ever having another baby, that was it. Easy for him to say that at 25 when he had 15-20 years of good fertility left (he has since gotten another partner pregnant, although she miscarried)

    I am now unable to have any more and while I'm happy with just DD and I am extremely glad I didn't have any more kids with my ex, his refusal to consider having another affected me way more than it did him.

  9. #69
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    Ok well I will take the risk and tell my story.

    I thought about falling pregnant without my partners knowledge to kind of "trap" him.

    We had (at the time) been together for 5+ years and in a long distance relationship. He was intending on moving to be with me but was encountering lots of obstacles along the way.

    So yes, I thought about it, I knew we were in a good relationship that was going to be permanent. I thought about it as I knew it would make him hurry up.

    But I decided that I wasn't that type of person and that it wasn't how I wanted to start off our lives together, but I can understand in *some* circumstances what motivates women to do it.

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  11. #70
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    I won't lie I thought about it.... In no means was I trying to "trap" him, we had plans for babies but I was very keen and wanted them sooner than dp, we were already engaged and planned on spending the rest of our lives together. But it was a quick thought and nothing more. A relationship is built on honesty and trust and at no point could I betray my husband at any point in our relationship. We have kids when WE are ready and want them (which we are now) but I think it is really unfair to knowingly force it upon anyone.


 

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