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  1. #51
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    Sure it's deceitful, when women and when men *trick* their partner. But I bet it happens a lot and is called an *accident*.

    Bring in the male contraceptive pill!

    Assuming a couple decides the number of children they want up front, then it would seem the most practical thing to do once the quota has been reached is for the guy to go get the snip. No more contraceptive hassle! If they don't, then there's always going to be the chance of pregnancy again because we all know contraception can fail (or we can slip up with it!).

    On the other hand, if they only make the decision to have 2 children, after the fact, then that's more of an a grey area as who's to say who's decision is more valid? Especially if they discussed having *lots* of kids beforehand then one changed their mind after 2 kids. People do need to take more responsibility for their own contraception though - if they feel that strongly about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by αληθη View Post
    Oh hmm that does sound confusing. It could be that they're both on different levels of consenting to another baby like he's on the fence but would go along with it and she's super clucky or something and so it would seem like she's doing it on purpose but it's not behind his back?
    Ah. Sorry, i think i've confused the issue there with that last post. Let me try to clarify...

    It was ME who was complaining that MY dh wont get the snip because he's not sure we're done yet.

    Then SHE told me she was going to try to have "an accident" because HER df has said he doesnt want any more, but she does want more. But she's rationalising it because he was so accepting of the last actual accident.

  3. #53
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    It is not fair to gamble on a possible future child's happiness, and on your other 2 childrens family, on the hope that your husband will warm to the idea of another child.

  4. #54
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    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Crow View Post
    Ah. Sorry, i think i've confused the issue there with that last post. Let me try to clarify...

    It was ME who was complaining that MY dh wont get the snip because he's not sure we're done yet.

    Then SHE told me she was going to try to have "an accident" because HER df has said he doesnt want any more, but she does want more. But she's rationalising it because he was so accepting of the last actual accident.
    Oh no well going off that then that's a really horrible thing for her to do. :/

  5. #55
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    threechooks is offline If my spelling annoys you that's your problem.... I have better things to do than proofread !
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    A male very close to me was trapped. She said "I'm on the pill." She was not. He accepted that she was pregnant and blamed himself also for not using a condom as it takes two to tango. Beliving she was pregnant, they no longer used any type of contraception. They had a lot of sex, she then fell properly pregnant the following month. This guy believed his daughter to be overdue, she had lied through the entire pregnancy to him, did not allow him to go to doctors appointments etc. He commented to nurses at the birth about baby being overdue and was corrected by nursing staff advising that baby pretty much arrived on its due date. She is a sociopath though, the type of person who also shaves her head and pretends to have cancer....

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by threechooks View Post
    .... She is a sociopath though, the type of person who also shaves her head and pretends to have cancer....
    o..m..g!

  7. #57
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    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Quote Originally Posted by threechooks View Post
    A male very close to me was trapped. She said "I'm on the pill." She was not. He accepted that she was pregnant and blamed himself also for not using a condom as it takes two to tango. Beliving she was pregnant, they no longer used any type of contraception. They had a lot of sex, she then fell properly pregnant the following month. This guy believed his daughter to be overdue, she had lied through the entire pregnancy to him, did not allow him to go to doctors appointments etc. He commented to nurses at the birth about baby being overdue and was corrected by nursing staff advising that baby pretty much arrived on its due date. She is a sociopath though, the type of person who also shaves her head and pretends to have cancer....
    Oh wow that's a bit intense O_O Poor guy.

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by threechooks View Post
    A male very close to me was trapped. She said "I'm on the pill." She was not. He accepted that she was pregnant and blamed himself also for not using a condom as it takes two to tango. Beliving she was pregnant, they no longer used any type of contraception. They had a lot of sex, she then fell properly pregnant the following month. This guy believed his daughter to be overdue, she had lied through the entire pregnancy to him, did not allow him to go to doctors appointments etc. He commented to nurses at the birth about baby being overdue and was corrected by nursing staff advising that baby pretty much arrived on its due date. She is a sociopath though, the type of person who also shaves her head and pretends to have cancer....

  9. #59
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    It's not a good thing IMO, and you'd have to be a fool to do it.

    If you're having another baby to keep the relationship together - oh what a great relationship that's sure to be. A baby doesn't fix problems... it may or may not temporarily deflect problems, but it's adding extra strain to your life, and like hell that "fixes" anything. You're an absolute idiot if you think that's going to make a person want to stay with your forever. Even if they DO stay... it's not for you, it's because you have kids together. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't imagine spending my life with someone who doesn't love or like me, but is only with me because we have children.

    If you're having kids because you want a baby - you're being a jerk. You're forcing something onto someone against their will. If you both just be careless, then whatever, they have some of the responsibility too and need to suck it up. If you LIE though, do something sneaky like say you're on the pill but aren't, put holes in a condom, etc... then you're an absolute jerk. Because YOU want to be a parent, you have the right to FORCE another person into parenthood? Yeah, because being a selfish jerk means you'll be a GREAT parent.

    What about the kid too? If it's born into a crappy relationship, or into a situation where one parent doesn't want it/won't be in its life much/etc... well, you know if circumstance just leads you down that road you have to deal with it, but why go out of your way to bring your kid into that life? You know how a kid feels when their parent rejects them? LIKE CRAP. DD was abandoned by her father - she knew him until she was 3.5 and then he left. Not a word in a few years now. It's not mentioned much these days, but I'm sure a time will come when it's on her mind again... probably when she's a bit older.

    It's bad enough to have to watch your kid go through that when it's not your choice, when you didn't trick anyone into anything and stuff just happened that way... it's SO MUCH WORSE when your stupid decisions pretty much determined that yes, that will be the way your child's life goes.

    You'd be a complete and utter IDIOT to treat your own kid like that...

    And you'd also be a d*ck of a human being to force another person into parenthood when they've trusted you when you've spun some BS about contraception or your uterus being broken or whatever. Then, "Oh wow, it's a miracle!" Pfft.

    I think it's natural to want kids, and even to perhaps CONSIDER doing this... but it's only the selfish jerks who go ahead with it.

    ETA - This is just a generic post about a generic person in that situation. It's not about anyone specific. I haven't read the thread, so it's certainly not directed at anyone.

  10. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SassyMummy For This Useful Post:

    dancingchipmunk  (06-04-2013),αληθη  (06-04-2013),Silver_Lining  (08-04-2013),VicPark  (07-04-2013)

  11. #60
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    I would do it...


 

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