I didnt expect this thread to be so one-sided. I know my topic heading "trapping" has only negative connotations, but i was at a loss as to what else to call it. It cant truly be called trapping when you're already committed to each other. So for that i'm sorry!
I do want to try to see her side of it. I just cant see past the deception - no matter what the reason behind it. But your description of being overtaken by your desire for a baby does ring true. She has always been a really good friend and this seemed so out-of-character for her that i didnt understand what was going on.
I have a friend who "accidentally" fell pregnant as soon as she got married, but I know it wasn't accidental. Her husband was quite young and not ready to be a dad and they split up when the baby was about 6 months old.
It didn't turn out well for anyone and I don't think it's the moral or responsible thing to do.
I understand the yearning for just one more but falling pregnant without discussing it with your partner...it's just all kinds of wrong.
Op, maybe mention the 'snip' scenario that a pp raised- if she's ok doing this without her partners knowledge then in turn if he had the snip she should just accept it.
The way I see it...would you steal from your best friend/family if you desperatley needed the money? IMO It's plain and simple....just wrong/betrayal
This is my biggest fear about getting judged on this as it has happened to us twice. We had an accident last year i was on the pill and we both made the decision together that we would terminate a month later I got the mirena implanted and just over a week ago found out i was 15 and a half weeks pregnant again with the mirena still implanted. We were both more then content with our 3 children and I am worried people will look at me and think I deliberately did it to the point where I was ashamed to go back to my doctor and tell him I was yet again pregnant.
Its extremely wrong. A ex friend of mine who already had
achild wanted another one did everything to have another lying re thepill and yes even poking holes in his condoms. She got her wish two fold as she got preg with twins but now shes a single mum of 3 at 22. I lost all respect for her and is why were no longer friends
Last edited by MonsterMoosMum; 06-04-2013 at 17:04.
Trapping seems the wrong word in this scenario...they are already together and attached and (from the sounds of things) not looking at breaking up.
My ex's wife did something similar...i don't know all the details but i do know that pregnancies don't last 11 months and she claimed to be pregnant and they stopped BC...and then 10 months after he told me she was pregnant...she had bub. I know the dates because he told me via email...so, there was def something dodgy....but, they are both dodgy so no great surprise.
DH and I don't use birth control...we don't count days or anything. We needed IVF to get our bubba...both of us having issues. If we get pregnant, it would not be ideal or planned...but he knows I will never have an abortion. He has sex knowing we are not protected.
So, if he does not want another...but she does...and he knows they are not using BC...well, that is on him. He has to know there would be a chance.
If he thinks she has some form of BC...then that is a problem. My main issue would be the lie...even if it is a lie of omission (as in she just fails to tell him she has stopped taking the pill).
If he really did not want another bub...he could chose to use condoms...but if he trusts his wife is on the pill...wellllll, that is complex.
I could never lie to my DH....and he knows I went through a crazy clucky stage about 6 months ago but not clucky enough to make an IVF appointment lol
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