I dont think people are aware of just how common it is for men to be dishonest, too. My ex told me he was infertile, probably as a means to not have to wear condoms but I do think he did believe it to an extent. I couldn't take the pill because it made me crazy. Of course, when we fell pregnant together it was "my fault" being a woman and all. Now I just give up, and have resigned myself to the fact I'm never having a planned baby with anyone, I can't "just find someone else" to have a baby with. I have spent my life, since age 19, in long term relationships and they just don't want it with me, I cannot afford to give everything up, wait until age 35+ when they are "ready" to have children. I can empathise with just how desperate some people can become. I haven't got endless funds for sperm donation on my own.
However, forcing someone you're supposed to love into something they don't want to do can never be right either.
There are lots of situations where someone is unable to get what they want in life (whether that's a relationship, or a child, or whatever), but that doesn't make it right to force the issue, or do something deceitful, when it has such a huge impact on other people.
So if a woman finds herself in a position that she only has a couple of kids and wanting more then surely the option of sperm donation would be a far better option then deceit. Unless the whole reason for tricking the man is for him to later pay for a child he doesn't want.
Thanks for telling your story about your ex...it adds some perspective to the discussion ...everyone seems to be implying that the baby crazy women are at fault. Again, i agree they shouldn't be trapping though.
I would never have a baby to trap someone, but if I had not met DH and wanted a baby I would not have ruled out the idea of trying to get pregnant to a random guy.
I will never know if I would have carried through with this, but I know that I would have at least considered it.
I am financially independent so I would never have asked for child support.
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