I'm sorry Ted, its very hard. I would love twins. I'm a nanny and a doula so have cared for heaps of twins and love the dynamics, the ones I currently have are hilarious. But, I worry because twins are high risk pregnancies so I have mixed feelings about 'wishing' for twins and the added worry of the pregnancy when we've already had a loss. A close friend lost her twins to Twin to Twin Transfusion which can happen with identicals. That said I would love my TTC to be over in one go and not have to go through all of this again!