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  1. #1
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    Default TMI - AF after 2nd trimester stillbirth?? Need advice

    I feel really embarrassed asking this but I don't know anyone that has ever lost a baby at this stage before so I have no one else to ask. I hope someone on here can put my mind at ease.

    Sorry I'm rambling so my questions are:
    1. After a stillbirth/miscarriage can you have a period before ovulating?
    2. If its not my period is it normal to be spotting on and off for so long?

    Thank you in advance to anyone who can answer my questions after something like this I think you just really stress about whether your body is ok and want everything to be normal again.
    Last edited by Whoknows; 08-09-2013 at 14:37.

  2. #2
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    Hi- we lost our baby girl at 20 weeks as well. I bled for almost two weeks, maybe a tiny bit of spotting then nothing for a couple weeks, then my period. I could tell I ovulated about 3 weeks after loosing Clem. My cycle has been completely normal ever since (we lost her dec 5th, I had my first period around jan. 7th).

    I think everybody is different. So many girls in my support group have been different with their bleeding. If you don't think it's your period I think it would still be really normal to still have some spotting or bleeding now. I think our cycles also change a lot after a pregnancy, so before you may have had cramps when ovulating and now you may not. If you're worried ask your GP but I think what's happening sounds pretty normal.

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    Whoknows  (05-04-2013)

  4. #3
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    Thank you for replying. I am so stressed right now I actually started crying when you said everything sounds normal - Maybe I am getting AF I am feeling a little emotional!!

  5. #4
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    I got really upset when I got my period the first time, like a punch in the face that everything was normal, except I didn't have my baby. My body had just completely moved on. It may still be spotting or it may be your period. Either way I think it's normal. I would say if it gets heavier, because you haven't bled for a while regarding your pregnancy, that it would be your period.

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    Whoknows  (05-04-2013)

  7. #5
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    We had our mc at 19 weeks, so no name or identity for the baby as it isn't recognised til 20 weeks . I think many people are unaware that a mc at this stage can mean for some women you get the full after pregnancy (full-term) symptoms, and just no baby. It's hard as sometimes they expect you to be able to function at top speed.

    I had bleeding for 3 weeks (had D&C after nearly full mc/delivery), then spotting for a few more weeks, went to the doctor and she said to come back if it didn't stop within another week or two. It cleared up about a week later.

    Hope you can start to move on soon.

    Sorry - technically ours was not a stillbirth - it was a late miscarriage.
    Last edited by Little Ted; 05-04-2013 at 14:08.

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    Whoknows  (05-04-2013)

  9. #6
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    We lost Clementine at 19 1/2 weeks but I just say 20 and call it a stillbirth as people seem to have more sympathy for what you're going through, and to me that's what it was. I went into labor and birthed a baby. With a miscarriage, society (not me), seem to have a general belief it's not that big a deal and you should move on faster (which is wrong!). Because I wasn't quite 20 weeks we weren't allowed to register Clem's birth or get a birth certificate, but I don't think that means she didn't have an identity. I still birthed and had my tiny baby daughter and saw that she looked like her dad. I think she definitely has an identity. We had a memorial for her as well and continue to do things in her memory (we're doing a funrun on Mothers Day since its a couple weeks past my due date and asking people to donate to Pregnancy Loss Australia in Clem's name.) I don't really give a second thought to not having a birth certificate.

    Little Ted, did you decide to name your baby? It's awful that we've all gone through this. I don't think any loss is any greater than another, we've all lost our babies.

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    What did you name your baby whoknows? I really don't think about the fact that we weren't allowed to register Clem's birth. She still has a full name and birthdate to us and we talk about her a lot to everyone so everyone else knows and considers her a daughter we have lost. I think people with as late of losses as us should be allowed to register their babies but I don't let it bring me down and I don't think it means she existed less. She very much existed and I'm grateful she did.

  11. #8
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    I love your attitude Kirst33 such a positive way to look at things good for you!!.
    Last edited by Whoknows; 09-04-2013 at 15:53. Reason: Maintain privacy

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    I often wonder if people recognize me! I speak about Clem so often and my name is pretty much half of my actual name, not too hard to figure me out!! I just try to make sure I don't speak negatively about anyone I know but don't really mind if they read my posts, I try to be very open with everything about our loss because I think it's the only way to help rid the stigma of pregnancy loss.

    Your baby's name makes me smile, it's a very sweet name. When I was little and played 'pretend' with my friends I can remember pretending my name was Lacey Lee! And another friend was Stacey Lee.

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    Whoknows  (05-04-2013)

  14. #10
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    As far as being positive, I'm not always!! I feel sorry for myself quite often and this crap hand we've been dealt. But since the first week I have tried to always be grateful that we had her, even if it was only for 20 weeks because 20 weeks is definitely better than never having her exist at all. And I think she's already made DH and I better people which maybe was what her role in our life was meant to be. She may have been tiny but she had a profound effect on our lives and I think always will. It's amazing how much you can love your baby, no matter the time you had with them.


 

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