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  1. #1
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    Default Anyone else works from home full time and has two under 2? **Vent**

    Hi, I am going to try to keep this short

    I feel SO stressed! I feel like I am drowning, feel like I am about to have a break down!

    I have 2 Online stores and between DH and I, we have 3. Its our business and our only income and its pretty much our full time job. More than full time I reckon! We also have 2 beautiful kids, 1 just turned 2 (so not really 2 under 2 anymore), the other is 5 months old. Both are mummys boy and girl.

    My 5 month old girl is super clingy, as long as shes awake she wants mummy and no one else, she'll scream the house down until I cuddle her. Sometimes she might be distracted and will be content by herself for a bit, but if she sees me walking pass her or etc she'll start crying straight away. My 2 year old boy is at his naughty 2s. Tantrums everyday about anything and everything. He screamed for an hour today because I opened his yogurt for him! Hes also a mummys boy, he gets jealous when I cuddle his sister. So through out the day its either my 2 year old screaming or my 5 month old screaming.

    I try to do work with all the screaming going on. Pretty much cant get anything done! Today I have made a total of 5 mistakes, sending parcel to wrong people, sending someone items twice, forgotten to send someone items, couldnt find the items in the house etc. I am just so angry at myself for making those silly mistakes. So I try to work at night, but I get so tired at night! after they both go to sleep it would be 8~8:30pmish then I would sit here in my work room and work till 1am! I am also breastfeeding throughout the night as well and need to be up by 6am, thats when they both wake up! I am just exhausted! I feel guilty even watching Grimm and MKR and Downton Abbey because I feel like I should be doing some work! But if I dont do work at night, the next day i would be swamped and then I would feel so guilty because I would be working all day and not spending much time with the kids. Even if I work at night, I am still swamped the next day!

    I havent played with my boy for a long time,even though we are at home everyday, he would just draw in my room or watch TV when hes not whinging. Sometimes we would take my 2 year old to his nanas house. Hes not in daycare yet because we both feel hes too young for it. We need to continue the business as its our only source of income.

    So our house at the moment looks like a factory, not only theres dishes from 2 days ago laying there, no more clean cups to use, dirty laundry all over the bathroom floor, toys everywhere, stock all over the house, I cant even see the desk top of my work desk right now. I hate the house looking like this, I cant think straight with a dirty house, but I just dont have the time to do anything! I am even feeling guilty typing away here because I should be doing work or else I am never going to get any sleep tonight! I cant even remember the last time I cooked! I feel so guilty for buying food every night, dont feel so bad eating take out myself, but my 2 year old. i try to cook something for him, but stepping into the kitchen just makes me want to throw everything out!

    DH tries to help as much as he can, but I know hes busy too. Hes somehow better at dealing with stress than I can.

    I dont know what to do.......really needed to vent.......I dont have anyone to talk to either, my parents are overseas, and my friends are all pretty far from me and none of them are married or have kids or own a business so really cant relate.

  2. #2
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    Have you considered using daycare? I work full time outside the home in an office, I can only imagine how impossible it would be to get any work done with the kids around.

    What about trying a couple of days a week daycare and getting as much done in that time as possible?

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  4. #3
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    Will need to reply later. I also have two online businesses and 3 kids. Will reply later with hopefully some good feedback but as a start as they get older it will get easier.

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    tubster  (04-04-2013)

  6. #4
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    I don't work full time but I do a lot of my business work from home and I go through phases of feeling like I am drowning. Looking after 2 young children, especially a grumpy 2yo and a 5mo who is BFing all day & night is a full time job in it's self and a very draining one at that. It's not wonder you are finding it tough.

    For me I try as much as I possibly can to separate work & home/kids. I do get some calls & need to check for messages/etc during the day, but it probably takes 5 - 10 minutes on most days so it's easy to fit in. That's my 'at home' days. Then I have days when I'm in the office (and my ds is at school & my dd is at my mum's) and that's when I try & cram in as much as I possibly can and I'm slowly getting better at making the most of those times & making the most of my secretary. Then, there's all the mountains of paperwork/etc (BAS statements/marketing/policys/etc/etc/etc) and that stuff does not fit in well around little kids (my dd is 18 months old and my ds is 6 but he still needs a fair bit of attention when he is home). So, I get a friend to come & babysit for a day most weeks. It means I'm at home (but I can go out & have meetings/etc if needed), but I go to my desk & work like mad in decent blocks of time when I'm awake. I'm useless at night trying to do work. If I do it then I can't switch off & go to sleep or I end up making lots of mistakes & getting super upset.

    So, basically I think you are probably doing too much. That might be a temporary thing and you just need a break (from work or the kids) for a few weeks (eg. 1 day a week) or it might be a longer term issue (your business is getting too successful to run with 2 little kids at home ... that's not a bad thing). So, obviously there are different options depending on whether this is a short term or longer term issue. Solutions include employing a Nanny (maybe just for 3 hours in the morning once or twice a week), using occasional care in your area (to get you through when you are having a bad week ... and that might mean you actually go back to bed for an hour when the kids are in care & then you work later that day when they sleep). Other options are changing your business structure. Maybe you offer a super fast turn around time on shipping, but maybe a twice a week post-out would be sufficient for most buyers. Or maybe you need to employ someone for your business for a few hours a week (or maybe even more).

    Basically you are expecting a lot. Working from home is no dream job and I think it's REALLY hard. If you are not using any childcare of any form it is then a heck of a lot harder. I know that seems to defeat the purpose of 'working from home', but in reality I think having a 'great life' of having little kids and running a successful business from home is a big modern day myth.

  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by mim1 View Post
    I don't work full time but I do a lot of my business work from home and I go through phases of feeling like I am drowning. Looking after 2 young children, especially a grumpy 2yo and a 5mo who is BFing all day & night is a full time job in it's self and a very draining one at that. It's not wonder you are finding it tough.

    For me I try as much as I possibly can to separate work & home/kids. I do get some calls & need to check for messages/etc during the day, but it probably takes 5 - 10 minutes on most days so it's easy to fit in. That's my 'at home' days. Then I have days when I'm in the office (and my ds is at school & my dd is at my mum's) and that's when I try & cram in as much as I possibly can and I'm slowly getting better at making the most of those times & making the most of my secretary. Then, there's all the mountains of paperwork/etc (BAS statements/marketing/policys/etc/etc/etc) and that stuff does not fit in well around little kids (my dd is 18 months old and my ds is 6 but he still needs a fair bit of attention when he is home). So, I get a friend to come & babysit for a day most weeks. It means I'm at home (but I can go out & have meetings/etc if needed), but I go to my desk & work like mad in decent blocks of time when I'm awake. I'm useless at night trying to do work. If I do it then I can't switch off & go to sleep or I end up making lots of mistakes & getting super upset.

    So, basically I think you are probably doing too much. That might be a temporary thing and you just need a break (from work or the kids) for a few weeks (eg. 1 day a week) or it might be a longer term issue (your business is getting too successful to run with 2 little kids at home ... that's not a bad thing). So, obviously there are different options depending on whether this is a short term or longer term issue. Solutions include employing a Nanny (maybe just for 3 hours in the morning once or twice a week), using occasional care in your area (to get you through when you are having a bad week ... and that might mean you actually go back to bed for an hour when the kids are in care & then you work later that day when they sleep). Other options are changing your business structure. Maybe you offer a super fast turn around time on shipping, but maybe a twice a week post-out would be sufficient for most buyers. Or maybe you need to employ someone for your business for a few hours a week (or maybe even more).

    Basically you are expecting a lot. Working from home is no dream job and I think it's REALLY hard. If you are not using any childcare of any form it is then a heck of a lot harder. I know that seems to defeat the purpose of 'working from home', but in reality I think having a 'great life' of having little kids and running a successful business from home is a big modern day myth.
    Thank you for your reply, there's a lot of good points and I think you are right about changing the structure of the business. I have always sent things the next day or same day if possible because customer satisfaction is really important to me but I guess some things has to change if its not working. We have thought about care and daycare and none of us are keen at this stage, we want to wait for a few more months preferably when he's toilet trained. I thought working from home with kids is the perfect option but its so not true. It's so much stress and a lot of hard work.

  8. #6
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    I have worked from home over the years and find it almost impossible to be honest to get anything done. When I'm around the kids want my attention all the time (I have 3 and one on the way). And that's fair enough. I'm their world.

    I now work 2 days out of the home and try and do a few hours here and there when I am at home. My youngest just turned 2.

    I do think it's very hard for kids to understand why you're around but you're not devoted to them.

  9. #7
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    I work one day in office and do as much as I can from home, basically I can't do anything when the kids are awake.

    I am wondering why you are so against daycare? You say your 2yo just either draws or watches tv? 2yos need so much stimulation, and they only need more ad they get older. My kids love daycare. They go and paint, run around outside, get dirty, play, sing, play doh, read books. I think its much better for them to be in care rather than have me frazzled and cranky because I can't get anything done.

    Or perhaps you could consider a house keeper or cleaner or nanny part time.


    Im not really sure what's involved with your business, but could you get organised and address your parcels in the evening while you watch tv? Post them in the mornings? Then ask your sh to say let you work 10 to 12. Then you spend 2 hours with the kids while he works, then maybe have quiet tv time 2 to 4 and you can both work etc

    I hope you can work something out, because I think you are doing too much!
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  10. #8
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    My kids are 2 and 4 btw, they play together constantly but it is still difficult to get anything done between nappies and 'im hungry' breakfast/lunch/50 snacks,cooking/ cleaning

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    If you have a spare room at your house, maybe you could get a live in au pair. That way you would have an extra pair of hands to help with the kids/the house work and maybe even some of your business tasks.

    It sounds like you really need some help around the house. I hope you can find a solution and hope you can find some "ME" time.

  12. #10
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    Okay! Now I can reply!

    I feel your pain. I also have an eBay business and a seperate print broker business that I mainly run online. DS1 and DS2 are older so that does help but having DD really threw a spanner in the works as that first year was a real struggle.

    For me what I found the best thing to do is tackle one chore at home a day. So if it was cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming I would do one thing on one day and another the next day so it was all done....so it would be like a round robin. Once all the chores were done throughout the week it would start all over again but I found it easier and quicker to do one thing a day then try to cram it all into one day.

    As for the sending of packages, do you do eParcel or something like that? I have Aus Post collect my packages for me as part of my contract so I dont have to drive to the PO everyday which is awesome. You also say you pack and send daily....you can change eBay to say it takes a certain amount of days before you send. I have mine set for 2 days Handling time and have it in all my listings so if for whatever reason I cant get something out that day I still have time up my sleeves. It is hard with eBay as Buyers can trash your ratings so easily. As you have both a Facebook site and an eBay site does one sell better then the other? So would it be possible to close one down for a couple of months and just focus selling on one site?

    I understand you not wanting to send your DS to day care yet. I think the same thing about DD....I know she would get vailue from it but I cant help but think of the waste of money as I am at home....and I would miss her too.

    I also feel heaps of guilt for not spending all my time with the kids....and I hate that I get cranky at them when I get stressed. I try to do one thing with them a day so they get out of the house and do something new. Like go to a play centre or go to a park. I take my iPad so I can still do work while I watch them. Then I dont feel so bad if the watch tv.

    I tend to work 7 days a week and cram work in where I can. I do make a point tho to switch off at 7.30 at night as if I dont have a break from the computer I would go crazy. Some days I work late but I try not to all the time.

    I also get DH to take them out on the weekend and do stuff with them so I have some time at home to run around and get things done.

    I would highly suggest even a one day a week child care for your DS....its something I am going to invesitgate as well. At least that way you have some hours where you can just motor through your jobs (between your DD sleeping).

    So my suggestion is tackle one thing at a time. Its easy to be overwhelmed when you at the whole lot and panick as there is no way to get it all done. If you do one thing at a time its all get done.

    Good luck!!


 

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