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  1. #71
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    That sounds like asking for a lot. Bring what you can. Personally I'd buy a gift so they don't know the cost since $ from guests isn't what the day I about.
    It's more important to show up and celebrate their special day (that's what I would want).

  2. #72
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    Wow I think its a bit much! We got engaged, and never done anything like a party. I knew my family and anyone cost wished us well, and were strapped for cash (engaged on new years) we were also expecting a baby 3 months later, so having a part and asking for anything was not something we considered!

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlemissellie View Post
    Thats why i hate cash gifts!! They wanted money towards their honeymoon i think they said? They dont need any house stuff etc.
    So does that mean they will also request cash for their wedding from the same guests??! If so then that's even more rude, expecting guests to give money at both the engagement AND wedding.

    Personally I would never expect or request my guests to bring alcohol and food to MY celebration. One or the other sure, for close friends & family that offered to help. But this whole arrangement you have described is just so rude and against all etiquette!

  4. #74
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    I cant believe someone would be so rude. To ask for food, drinks and money/gift. Wow.

    Im not a big fan of engagment parties. Having said that my SIL to be had a nice one, cheese and dip, chips and sausage rolls...Perfect.

    I understand the wishingwell situation for weddings, we had one but i actually put on the card 'Please DO NOT feel obligated'. Its not about the money, its about celebrating a wonderous occasion with people you love. Some people gave money, others gave gifts and that was perfectly fine.

    Theres so much emphisis on money around weddings its actually quite sickening.

    If the Bride and Groom are asking for food/drinks and money for their ENGAGMENT, i shudder to think what they will ask for for their wedding.

    Take your dessert and drinks but i would be giving any money. Just a card...espeically if your on a budget...i know full well about that atm!!

  5. #75
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    We had a great engagement party. It was in a backyard with marquis, a cool room. But we paid for the lot ourselves, including alcohol. We certainly didn't ask for money either

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    So does that mean they will also request cash for their wedding from the same guests??! If so then that's even more rude, expecting guests to give money at both the engagement AND wedding.
    I find that because DP's family seem to be big on breeding and engagement/wedding/christening parties I can say in all honesty we spend more on luxury/gifts on others than we do our own family. It's just getting ridiculous. They get engaged: engagement gift. Then married: expensive wedding registry gift. Then baby: baby shower gift. Then baby born: another gift for baby. Baby christened: yet another gift. I would hate to estimate just how much we have spent on luxury items for others because it would make me cry.

    I said to DP I want him to promise me that we won't 'get engaged' and 'announce' it at a party where people bring stuff. Our wedding will be family only and there will be absolutely no expectation on them to bring anything or pay for OUR honeymoon, we have a wedding we can afford even if it's a barbeque at the in law's house. I'm just totally and utterly over the whole thing. It cheapens the whole experience for me, when it should be a lovely time to share with friends/family.

  7. #77
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    Nah the byo alcohol wouldn't bother me at all catering to the party, bringing alcohol PLUS being asked for cash would. If I were to have a party and asked guests to bring a plate and they asked what gift would you like, esp if they're strapped like a lot of families, I'd be saying don't you dare bring anything else but yourselves.

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  9. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Nah the byo alcohol wouldn't bother me at all catering to the party, bringing alcohol PLUS being asked for cash would. If I were to have a party and asked guests to bring a plate and they asked what gift would you like, esp if they're strapped like a lot of families, I'd be saying don't you dare bring anything else but yourselves.
    This exactly.

    No problem with asking them to bring alcohol, OR a plate, OR cash as a gift. But all 3 together is downright rude.

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  11. #79
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    I was discussing engagement parties with my sister yesterday, as my cousin is having one on the weekend. My cousin has been engaged for around 8 months now, so the only reason we can figure out for the engagement party is to get gifts. Then there will be the wedding next year, where more gifts are expected.
    I never had an engagement party, mostly cause we got married 8 months later, so I was focused on planning the wedding. And even then, for our wedding we asked that if ppl wanted to bring a gift to bring red wine so we could start a collection. That way those on a budget could bring a cheap bottle or if they wanted to spend more could buy a case.

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    I recently went to an engagement party and on the invitation they said they would like gifts to be gift vouchers to Bunnings. This morning I received the invitation to the same peoples wedding and they have requested all gifts be gift vouchers to Myer. I found this odd.


 

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