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  1. #91
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    I have many friends who say BYO meat to a BBQ. Seems odd to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by flyawayfree View Post
    I have many friends who say BYO meat to a BBQ. Seems odd to me.
    A lot of our friends have BYO meat bbqs. Meat is expensive and I can understand that some of our friends cant afford to provide for everyone and we all take turns hosting. I have no problem taking some meat to a casual bbq at a friends place

    Engagement party is a bit different.

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    Quote Originally Posted by flyawayfree View Post
    I have many friends who say BYO meat to a BBQ. Seems odd to me.
    I don't ask people to bring anything when they come. If I host I provide. But I have been to friend BBQs where it's been BYO meat, I was fine with that.

    But as peanut says, I think an engagement party is a bit different. If I was so broke I couldn't pay for some salads and meat, then I would either put it off or have a late 8pm start so people have already fed themselves and just have some cheese, dip and bickies to line the tummies of the guests lol

  4. #94
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    I don't mind the idea of BYO for barbeques, although if I'm hosting I tend to assume that I provide the food. But 'hosting' a barbeque and not providing anything at all that's so cheeky.

    Even an engagement party I wouldn't mind so much if the hosts said they're a little broke at the moment, or aren't in a position to cater, I'd be more than happy to bring a dish to help them celebrate. It's the expensive gift/money expectations I don't appreciate whatsoever. Why do I have to give vouchers/money/gifts because they got engaged? What on earth for? I just don't understand this recent change in the culture TBH.

  5. #95
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    I actually thought byo meat for a BBQ was standard. When we do one we provide burgers and sausages, guests can bring their own steak etc. what if someone only eats scotch fillet or lamb ?
    To the op, engagement party's, weddings and 21st's I would expect alcohol (some) to be provided. If you are expected to contribute its in lieu of a gift.
    We spent around $1000 on alcohol alone for our engagement party. We received mostly presents (platters, glasses, photo frames). Certainly not a cash grab!

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    I have zero problem pitching in for a family or friends get-together. It usually goes something like this in our circles anyway:

    'We've having a dinner/bbq/party, would you like to come?'

    'Sure, what can we bring?'

    'Oh, a salad/dessert/drinks (just one lol) would be great'

    No big deal at all, it makes getting together easier for everyone and means it happens more often.

    BUT the situation in the OP is almost beyond belief. Except I do believe it. I wonder if they have actually stopped to think about it? A big celebration like an engagement or wedding should be provided for by the host I think. And to ask for money on top of it all is really, really self focused.

  7. #97
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    If we just have a catch up BBQ with friends or family its standard for everyone to bring a plate...if not meat perhaps a salad or desert, drinks for kids etc. Normally everrone brings their own alcohol if drinking and if we host we always provide non-alcoholic drinks....but i agree for an engagement party - thats different!

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    If I was invited to that party I'd be going to Kmart and buying a nice platter or bowl or even a dinner set for them. I wouldn't give $$
    I don't mind $$ for wedding gift, as I know they will use it for their honeymoon or pay for wedding. And I will base how much cash I give with what my meal and drinks would approx cost. But never go over what I can afford.

  9. #99
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    I had never heard of an engagement party until I moved here I still dont understand them really the party is after the wedding, how often do people get engaged then break up. Anyway I would say take the food and your drinks and feel fine doing just that if your strapped they have to understand not that its any of their business.

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    I should add that even in a casual social context, I would never ask my guests to bring anything, if the offer though I will often take them up on it.

    I think that's a big part of my problem with people stipulating money or gift vouchers etc... it's one thing if you are asked if you have a preference, but to tell people what to buy/give/bring is a bit rude in my opinion.

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