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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by pisang View Post
    Picture this. You go to your SIL party. When u walk in u don't get acknowledged. For the whole night you are told one word from her. Hi. Your baby who yes is your world who u would expect your family members to say hi or give him a rub on the head even to say hi doesn't do a thing. Baby crawling around SIL steps over like he is a dog. Seriously that's me being precious? Far out that's bull. So u let your kids get treated like sh*t and your ok with that?

    Sorry about the others who have Sil issues too. It really sucks
    Ioco yeh I have to learn to get over it and not let it get to me. I'm sure that will happen in time
    But this is exactly my point. Her totally ignoring your baby does not equal "treating him like sh*t" and certainly doesn't make her selfish. What was she supposed to do but step over him?? Stop and gush?? I have plenty of friends who are bored witless by babies and ignore mine when we're together. It really shouldn't be a big deal. But I suspect there are general inter-personality problems here anyway because you're not relating well to each other in general. Seems a separate issue to your son.

  2. #52
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    My dh's family all live in each others pockets, phone each other all the time, are big on birthdays etc... In my family (only child, single mum) it just wasn't like that and I often feel really uncomfortable and crowded around them. I know they think I'm rude at times as I don't like family get togethers and prefer to spend Xmas, birthdays etc just with my immediate family but that's just who Iam. I hope that gives some perspective...

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    Thanks. It is really helping hearing all the different perspectives. I think I'm taking it way to personal. The stop to gush comment.. Things like that make me think your not understanding me. It wasn't just a step Over ..she hasn't acknowledged him the whole day.. Didnt think its much to ask to acknowledge someone but anyway here is the latest!

    My dh phoned her tonight thinking she may talk to him as an "outsider" too. Turns out the initial story was wrong with what she was doing instead. She is actually going away with friends for the weekend and I thought well that can wait right? But it's something different so I did jump to conclusions. I feel a bit bad now getting so angry at her but I still stick by what she has done many times in the past has been quite selfish. This time could not be helped with wht she was telling dh.. But anyway...
    I still do feel like its a waste inviting them to future events just so I don't get a bail out as usual. It is hurtful even though I'm trying to understand she is different to me. Brought up with different values I suppose if that's the word.

    Oh and yes she does have a bub herself which is also why I would have thought she would understand its a big deal to me and dh

    Thanks again now off to bed to get rid of all the emotion of the day!!

  4. #54
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    It took me a long time to be comfortable with my in laws. Maybe when she attends, she doesnt know her boundaries and doesnt want to overstep and steal your ds away for a cuddle etc - i am often like this with kids of people I am not super close too.

    I honestly thing its going to take time for her to settle into the family dynamic. Im also the type of person who always makes an effort to attend big events, but people often do not return the favour - and honestly sometimes when I go to parties Im bored and dont want to be there so understand why people don't attend mine, I just have slightly better manners!

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by pisang View Post
    Thanks. It is really helping hearing all the different perspectives. I think I'm taking it way to personal. The stop to gush comment.. Things like that make me think your not understanding me. It wasn't just a step Over ..she hasn't acknowledged him the whole day.. Didnt think its much to ask to acknowledge someone but anyway here is the latest!

    My dh phoned her tonight thinking she may talk to him as an "outsider" too. Turns out the initial story was wrong with what she was doing instead. She is actually going away with friends for the weekend and I thought well that can wait right? But it's something different so I did jump to conclusions. I feel a bit bad now getting so angry at her but I still stick by what she has done many times in the past has been quite selfish. This time could not be helped with wht she was telling dh.. But anyway...
    I still do feel like its a waste inviting them to future events just so I don't get a bail out as usual. It is hurtful even though I'm trying to understand she is different to me. Brought up with different values I suppose if that's the word.

    Oh and yes she does have a bub herself which is also why I would have thought she would understand its a big deal to me and dh

    Thanks again now off to bed to get rid of all the emotion of the day!!
    I'm glad you're feeling a bit better about it all. If she has a baby a weekend away with friends isn't something I would consider unimportant and something she could delay - who knows how many opportunities she gets to go away? Honestly, I would probably do the same thing in her position.

    I would keep inviting them. It's not wasted - if they don't come well that's their loss. I think you need to take the high road and not turn this into something that cause a rift between your families for years to come.


 

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