My dh's family all live in each others pockets, phone each other all the time, are big on birthdays etc... In my family (only child, single mum) it just wasn't like that and I often feel really uncomfortable and crowded around them. I know they think I'm rude at times as I don't like family get togethers and prefer to spend Xmas, birthdays etc just with my immediate family but that's just who Iam. I hope that gives some perspective...
Thanks. It is really helping hearing all the different perspectives. I think I'm taking it way to personal. The stop to gush comment.. Things like that make me think your not understanding me. It wasn't just a step Over ..she hasn't acknowledged him the whole day.. Didnt think its much to ask to acknowledge someone but anyway here is the latest!
My dh phoned her tonight thinking she may talk to him as an "outsider" too. Turns out the initial story was wrong with what she was doing instead. She is actually going away with friends for the weekend and I thought well that can wait right? But it's something different so I did jump to conclusions. I feel a bit bad now getting so angry at her but I still stick by what she has done many times in the past has been quite selfish. This time could not be helped with wht she was telling dh.. But anyway...
I still do feel like its a waste inviting them to future events just so I don't get a bail out as usual. It is hurtful even though I'm trying to understand she is different to me. Brought up with different values I suppose if that's the word.
Oh and yes she does have a bub herself which is also why I would have thought she would understand its a big deal to me and dh
Thanks again now off to bed to get rid of all the emotion of the day!!
It took me a long time to be comfortable with my in laws. Maybe when she attends, she doesnt know her boundaries and doesnt want to overstep and steal your ds away for a cuddle etc - i am often like this with kids of people I am not super close too.
I honestly thing its going to take time for her to settle into the family dynamic. Im also the type of person who always makes an effort to attend big events, but people often do not return the favour - and honestly sometimes when I go to parties Im bored and dont want to be there so understand why people don't attend mine, I just have slightly better manners!
I would keep inviting them. It's not wasted - if they don't come well that's their loss. I think you need to take the high road and not turn this into something that cause a rift between your families for years to come.
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