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  1. #21
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    From your replies it sound like its your way or the high way and you just want people to agree with you.. Maybe she pick u on that and just doesn't want to be around you... Yes she could make the effort, but she married your brother, not you.
    Move on.

  2. #22
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    Both my sil's couldn't come to my DD's 1st birthday and she is their only niece, but they are at different places in life to me. I know they still love her though.

    It's hard, families are hard work!

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    Bexter I would like to see where I said or made you think it's my way or the highway.
    In MY families situation what she has done is considered rude. As I said in my last post I'm starting to see where she is coming from not really caring. I couldn't see that before but from what others have said makes me see the bigger picture.
    Anyway I don't have to explain myself to silly posts like that. I said I'm hurt u don't have to try make me feel like I'm a selfish person for wanting my family to celebrate my sons birthday.

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  5. #24
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    A kid's birthday isn't ever a priority of mine unless it's my child.

    It doesn't mean I'm a horrible person or hate relatives or anything, it just means that kids birthdays aren't a big deal to me, and I don't expect anyone to see my daughter's as a big deal either.

    I think parents have to keep in mind that just because their child is THEIR world, doesn't mean everyone else has to feel similarly. Most people don't care about your children as much as you do, and it doesn't make them horrible people that need to be kept out of your lives... I think that's a massive overreaction.
    Last edited by SassyMummy; 04-04-2013 at 19:51.

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  7. #25
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    I gather your SIL doesn't have kids of her own yet? If so, this was me before I had kids. I had little interest in them, even less so if they weren't related by blood. I'm sure I did lots of things other family members perceived as selfish or hurtful, but it was honestly not on my radar. I just didn't get the whole "family" thing until I had my own kids.

    I get why you're hurt - 1st birthdays are important to the parents and even if they aren't important to others it's nice if they fake it. And family members are supposed to care that little bit more (although in my experience they often can be ruder than strangers).

    I'm trying to answer your OP - how do I get over it? You get over it by accepting she is who is is, trying to not let it get to you and knowing that there is a chance that one day when she has children of her own she'll look back on these days and realise how much she hurt other people (which I did). Or she won't. Either way, don't cut her out but stop trying to make her into something she's not. Only she can do that.

  8. #26
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    I agree with many other posters but wanted to add a thought that maybe you haven't thought of. Maybe your brother and SIL are quite private and maybe they have been TTC for ages or had multiple miscarriages and she shows little interest in your ds or his birthday for self-preservation. I have a few friends that haven't gone to see other close friends babies or to their 1st birthdays for these reasons. It hurts them because they are struggling and can't bring themselves to be around babies or happy new parents. I completely ignored one of my nephews on Christmas (and for a couple months) because I was pretty much scared of him after loosing our baby, Easter was pretty much the first time I've hugged and cuddled him for ages.

    Or maybe she's not at a stage in her life yet where she thinks kids are as amazing as the rest of us. Doesn't make her worth cutting out.

    I also have battled depression for years and have avoided my in-laws on several occasions because my anxiety has been so bad I couldn't cope with being cheery and small talk. My DH has gone to several lunches, etc with his family that I haven't attended. I would hate to think that my SIL or MIL may feel this way about me because of this. She's not interfering in your brother's relationship with his family so maybe you should cut her some slack. You don't always know what's happening in people's lives.

  9. #27
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    I think you're massively over reacting OP and I think you need to stop being quite so precious about your son. The whole "stepping over the baby without saying hello" story makes me feel very sorry for your SIL!

  10. #28
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    Meh. I don't even invite my sisters to my children's birthday parties. It's for the kids to have fun with their friends.

  11. #29
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    Some of these replies are a bit harsh...

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  13. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    A kid's birthday isn't ever a priority of me unless it's my child.

    It doesn't mean I'm a horrible person or hate relatives or anything, it just means that kids birthdays aren't a big deal to me, and I don't expect anyone to see my daughter's as a big deal either.

    I think parents have to keep in mind that just because their child is THEIR world, doesn't mean everyone else has to feel similarly. Most people don't care about your children as much as you do, and it doesn't make them horrible people that need to be kept out of your lives... I think that's a massive overreaction.
    This


 

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