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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Past Moderator - Thank you
    100 Posts in a week
    This was a really hard age with my DD and we ended up going down the Fedup/Failsafe road and it made a huge difference.

    You've done a good thing by having some time out

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    I have no experience yet, DS1 is only 19mths. But just wanted to send you virtual sympathy & hugs. It sounds tough!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Ocean Shores
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bennos Mummy View Post
    Ive tried reasoning, he doesn't get it, he just wants what he wants. I've tried 1,2,3 to an extent but even mentioning 1 gets him screaming because he knows he'll be in time out if he doesnt do it. I try to spend one on one time but am met with so much negativity and most of the time he'll say no.

    We did move house in February so I know that change will be affecting him but he loves it here.

    He does snore a bit and a friend mentioned aggges ago to get it checked. I didn't think anything of it but I googled snoring with toddlers and it says to be linked to behavioural issues. I am booking into the GP tomorrow but has anyone else experienced this??

    I've called my parents and they've taken him for the night which I am so so grateful for!! I am so bloody stubborn and think I can't handle everything on my own but not this time, I'm the one needing time out
    This may be hard to start with but I;d be enforcing the time out. I have a friend who's daughter had to be sat with and basically held in time out for the first few times, all while she thrashed around and screamed blue murder. But after doing this a few times she slowly calmed down and now will sit her time out without any dramas.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Sorry you're having such a rough time Bennos mummy.

    I'm not a single mum and my boy isn't 2 yet. That being said I'd like to offer a few thoughts based on what I've read/friends have said/life experience etc. Feel free to take the below with a grain of salt

    1. There IS another reason for your DS's behavior, you've just got to figure out what it is (developmental stage, changes at home/care/school/he's picking up on your stress etc). There is no way in heck your little boy really hates you.

    2. Considering the above, Don't take it personally. Try to take a step back, remove emotion and look at it from a 'management' perspective. If you worked as a manager outside the home and had a problem staff member (being a di@k etc), what would you do? All the workplace manuals say try and find out what is causing the underlying behavior. Is the employee unchallenged with their work? Are they frustrated they don't have enough training? Do they simply need coaching with their people skills? Is someone bullying them?
    - The important things are to not take it personally, don't let emotion get in the way of effectively addressing the issue and seek help from Experts and colleagues. It's hard but try not to let it get you down as that would be counterproductive.

    3. Take time for yourself. Set aside a big chunk of time each week and spend it doing something you love. Don't let housework or anything else stop you. Eg Saturday night when DS is in bed have a glass of red wine, plonk yourself on the lounge and watch Some soppy DVD.

    Best of luck xxx

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    dancingchipmunk  (03-04-2013),Pesca77  (03-04-2013)

  6. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    It is so hard

    I think they all go through these horrid phases. My ds certainly has.

    What has helped;

    - 123 magic (with consistency and persistence!)
    - it got to the point for me where whining went straight to the bedroom. I would tell him I didn't want to hear that voice, so either talk to me nicely or go and whine in your bedroom. Every. Single. Time.
    - mock his bad behavior. Lol, sounds bad - but I think my ds saw how silly he looked. He sometimes found it funny and would start laughing and lighten up. Dh would say 'nope ds, that wasn't loud enough. You can do better than that!' it certainly wasn't the effect ds was going for. Dh filmed him mid tantrum once and played it back to him.. That also helped.
    - I over praised the good moods. Like seriously over board and went out of my way to make sure he knew how much fun we could have when he wasnt in a stink.
    - lots of one on one time.

    Ds is out of it completely now. It does pass


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