+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    559
    Thanks
    202
    Thanked
    224
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default At my wits end with my two year old.... Please help!!

    I'm really struggling with my 2.5 year olds behaviour. I'm struggling with disciplining him, nothing seems to work. He can be the most beautiful boy, and I need to try harder to keep him busy because I believe when he is bored his behaviour is worse. He whines about everything, even to have a drink its a tantrum, he won't just ask. You can't tell him no or it's a tantrum, even when your trying to do things he enjoys he tantrums. And then there's the hitting if he doesn't get his own way. He only ever hits me, and it's getting to a point where I feel like he really doesn't like me because he's only really naughty when he's with me. I need help with discipline strategies & other suggestions on how to improve his behaviour. Any advice is much appreciated

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    405
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked
    11
    Reviews
    0
    I don't have any advice as I could of writing the exact same post about my son who has just turned 3. The similarities are many.
    I just wanted to reply so you know you are not alone in your struggle

  3. #3
    SuperGranny's Avatar
    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    sunshine coast qld
    Posts
    6,140
    Thanks
    4,541
    Thanked
    2,719
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    hi peanuthead, ?diet? can you notice any triggers?? does he sleep enough? How is his behaviour away from the house? What do you mean by tantrums? full blown screaming and lashing about, or just a cry and a whinge? sorry for so many questions, but that is all I can think of. It seems to be more than just discipline problems, but serious behaviour issues. Marie.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Glen Waverley
    Posts
    669
    Thanks
    523
    Thanked
    279
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I have an almost 2yo. I hear you with some of your frustrations!

    I try to keep him busy by anticipating his need for activities and immersing him in them. Also his need for food, snacks, drinks ~ until my boy learns to ask, not whinge, for them, I'll make sure he has them before he knows he needs them; the tantrums and whining are worse, of course, when they are hungry, tired or thirsty (or bored). When my boy whines, I model the behaviour I want: I nod my head 'yes' and say 'yes, I'd like my milk,' or 'no, I don't want it.' My toddler thinks this is hilarious (hilarity defuses a tantrum), and is slowly learning to ask for things and nod yes and no.

    Try not to say no too often ~ say enough, we're not doing that, Mummy can't give you that, it's dangerous, look! come over here and help Mummy; anything but no!

    For me it's all about modelling behaviour. If I get hit, I say 'Mummy doesn't like being hit. Hitting hurts. I won't play with you if you hit me.' Remember he does it to get a reaction, because you are closest to him, and because he is frustrated and doesn't have the language to express it.

    Play games that model good behaviour with his toys. Hugs, generous sharing behaviour, caring for and feeding each other. This will wear off onto his reality, and hopefully onto the way he treats you.

    Pick your battles. Think carefully how you feel before reacting, don't change your mind once you react (ie, don't give in just to stop a tantrum); the tantrums will get shorter if they have no reaction.

    Praise good behaviour. Involve your child in helpful duties even if it takes a lot longer with him helping you, and praise, praise, praise even a touch of good behaviour. Set him up to succeed if you can.

    Positive direction ~ I really try hard not to mention the behaviour I don't want, and to instead give a positive command, ie. Instead of, "don't drop it!" I say "Hang onto it!" Kids of this age may not be listening or have split attention, and not hear the 'don't' at the start of the sentence. Or they may drop it if you mention it, as an experiment. Same with redirection; "look at this" rather than, "don't touch that." "Don't touch the lamp" brings the focus back to the lamp instead of changing the focus to the thing you do want them playing with. Naturally, sometimes you do have to say not to touch something for safety reasons, but these are things which work for me when I make them a general rule.

    Conditioning ~ I've recently been trying playing conditioning games. Playing Chasey in the backyard and saying, "Stop!," and grabbing him from behind to start, but then counting to three, saying Stop! and praising him when he does. This is so helpful ~ creating innate responses to certain words for emergency situations.

    I'll come back and post more when I have more time; these are just a few off the top of my head. Can't help much with discipline, I'm trying to do it all preventatively and not have to correct too much behaviour at my son's age. But mine is only 21mo.

    Good luck, stay patient and positive.

  5. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to BaronessM For This Useful Post:

    giggle berry  (08-04-2013),lilypily  (04-04-2013),Mulva  (08-04-2013),sjay  (16-04-2013)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    559
    Thanks
    202
    Thanked
    224
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thank you so much for the replies. I've thought about diet and am trying to make sure I'm giving him fresh or homemade foods. I'm looking into being more consistent with his routine & give him more time out of the house. He's a good little boy mostly when he's with other kids, just the normal episodes of wanting a you another kid has etc.
    There is a little boy at school who continually hits/bites my son & other kids, so I'm guessing he's learned the behaviour from him and is testing it on me.
    ETA his sleep is fine & away from the house is hit and miss. He loves being out but then the moment we have to leave he has a little tantrum. Shopping with him can be a nightmare, though we went the other day and it was bearable.
    Last edited by peanuthead; 04-04-2013 at 20:02.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    43
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0

    Default At wits end

    There's only so much time you can waste explaining things to a little one who doesn't want to listen and learn.

    So spank when you need to!

    (Stereotypical footnote - how are his bowels? Sometimes there's a link...)

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    559
    Thanks
    202
    Thanked
    224
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'm not against smacking by any means, but I don't think it's effective for my boy especially given that he is hitting me.
    His bowels are fine, regular all that stuff.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to peanuthead For This Useful Post:

    sjay  (16-04-2013)

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    873
    Thanks
    154
    Thanked
    300
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I would also look into diet, as in keep a diary, note when the tantrums occur, she if there is a link.

    With discipline the main thing is to be consistent, it sounds easy, but it's very difficult for us as parents to stick to rules when they're being super cute also be consistent where ever you are.

    Also pick your battles, I find if I foresee something coming with my 2year old DS that just isn't worth a big song and dance I will redirect him. I find redirection still works with him.

    Sometimes if he is having a full blown tantrum because he wants something I will calmly repeat "would you like x?" we are getting to the point where he will say yes then somewhat calmly ask for what ever it was, but before it was me modeling the asking "please mum can I have x" and when he stops screaming saying that's not how we ask for x, we to need to ask nicely.
    If its mini tantrum I'll say no you need to ask nicely.

    Tantrums are pretty normal, they all go through it, its easier said then done to stay calm, but it really helps. Consistency may take a while but will pay off in the end.

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    559
    Thanks
    202
    Thanked
    224
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I've bought the 123 magic book and have started reading that and I'm hoping that with consistency it will help us. The thing i wonder about it is, when he hits thats an automatic 3, but if we're out how do i "time out" him?
    He has had ear infections in the past, so I might have his ears checked again. The frustration thing is my son all over. I don't know how many times a day I have to say to him "just say help mummy".
    Last edited by peanuthead; 08-04-2013 at 06:24.

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    4,382
    Thanks
    4,454
    Thanked
    1,339
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Subscribing


 

Similar Threads

  1. At my wits end with almost 7 yr old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    By Mollyandtaysmum in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 15-11-2012, 10:11
  2. At my wits end.
    By PorkyPies in forum 'No Cry' Sleeping Solutions
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 13-09-2012, 16:04
  3. At my wits end.
    By lucymoo in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 26-08-2012, 23:51

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Carmels Beauty Secrets
An online beauty and wellness site which offers simple and effective time saving methods and tips which help you look younger for longer.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!